Crepey wattle and daub

[herbaceous]

At last! I get to use my thread title.

Over here, my hags.

That was the head of dept, BD. Why can't they understand that she is "passive and doesn't pay attention in class" because she is bored? Am going to try and find some of the stuff she was doing in her last school to show them.

Hatty - it wasn't the Bar No Problemo, was it?

Go for the later train. You have enough to cope with at the moment.

And yes, head of dept. They're handling it appallingly badly. It's not like you're saying "my precious daughter is perhaps a little understretched", you're pointing out that she's about five years ahead of the rest of the class!

I have wimpishly decided to postpone the state of the Inferiorettecaves till the Easter hols. And my mum needs me to zip up there on Friday and I have to do something about deadlines to manage this...

Rudy, I think BTM sums it up really well, but maybe that works if your child is either motivated or anxious? If your dd can't see to the summer, there is less to be supportive of, as she is presumably quite happy in the here and now? So I am sure you are right you do need to talk to her - at least then she can't say you didn't warn her (well she probably will.....).

30 years, wow. I found myself thinking the other day (and I am sorry if this sounds horrible/tactless), i am glad I didn't have a third child to fill in school trip forms for .

MrsS, that is truly rubbish. At primary school my dc were in classes that apparently covered about ten years in terms of ability range, which was very hard for the teachers - but they mostly did better than that, some stunningly so.

Mrs S - no it wasn't the No Problemo but I will put this on our list. We're going to try your restaurant - Le Bouchon etc - would that be good for a wedding anniversary or have you got any ideas for somewhere (it's our 20th)? I think I may have asked you this before but you were busy communing with Brian.

Rudy, I have the opposite problem, or will have in 2 years - with DS!
And Lalsy, as you know, DD is both

Hatty, DD and I had a good chat last night and she was very sweetly telling me how she hoped that Reading Festival would be a good opportunity for them to practise/show that they could manage themselves without adults for a few days in the hopes of something more in the future. Interrailing was at 18 in my days!

BD, I would go at the normal time, and get on a different carriage, and be civil/smile/whatever if she looked my way. As Rudy says, I always feel it is better to deal with it than let it fester, but you need to do what is right for YOU!

BTM - the is where the thread on teenagers being more worrying than young children is very consoling.

Absolutely Hatty!

Can I link arms with you Rudy ? (27 and a half years…not quite 30 but close enough) and I find it very hard to give voice to the fact that I am often unhappy as a parent, and I do question why I had three lalsy …even though I am consumed with love for all of them….

MrsS that's a cop out on the part of the French HOD….they should have a fast track. DS2 was in one…not because he's a native speaker but he's just good at it. They took the GCSE early and whilst they were waiting for the other to catch up they did the DELF diploma. They are now finding the AS quite manageable as a result. Wish I could say the same about Spanish though….

Molly oh no Hope you are recovering from DD traumas. They really are quite horrible at times…and they then move on, leaving us scraping ourselves off the ceiling. Do something nice for yourself today? Maybe involving and ...

BD …feeling for you…I hate that adrenalin feeling when I've had a spat with someone….I'm afraid I'd probably be like you …if you don't need her in your life, just avoid. If on the other hand you need to resolve this…well, I guess one would need to bite the bullet. Are you going to tell us what this is all about, my love?

Going quite mad with my two…DD with another shitload of Art homework and DS2 facing his Music AS performance exam tomorrow …9 minutes of solo and then an ensemble piece and a viva voce. He's rehearsing feverishly…and it sounds divine…his behaviour however, is anything but.

Consoling self with researching gorgeous hotels in Nice and Monte Carlo
that we can't afford, like ever

MI is your DM ok…?

I am not meaning to be smug on that teenagers thread, and I realise I only have one remarkably easy-going 14 year old, but I do disagree about some of those arguments. But then I found small children unbearably draining. I loved them, but those early years just sapped me. Rose, I hear ya re unhappiness - and those were the years when I was far the least happy, even though I look at the pictures on my wall and yearn for their chubby cuddliness! I posted a thread once on MN asking if anyone else felt as if they were swimming uphill through custard, and it really was like that for years. I felt like they were vampires, eating me alive. Adorable vampires, but still vampires.

My dad has a hospital appointment and my mum doesn't want to be on her own all day; DSis says the main worry is if she falls and that (a) yes I should go (b) I should get them to spring for my vastly expensive day ticket. I just hope I can sort everything re work.

I think it all depends on personalities, etc MI. I found the pregnancy/toddler stage a breeze and loved it (they were the easiest babies ever), toddler to end of primary was fine, despite DS being an exceptionally "spirited" child and me having several meltdowns until I discovered HRT. The shit only really hit the fan a couple of years ago. But it hit the fan spectacularly.

Just spoken to DM and now the heating/hot water isn't working and a man is coming out this afternoon

Neither of my dcs reliably slept through the night until they were 6 years old. Unfortunately, that was 12 years of disturbed nights for me, which I didn't thrive on.

Ds is now showing the first signs of pre-teen mood swings. Given that dd delights in being foul to him, I think the likelihood of him using his (now reasonably high level) taekwando skills on her is increasing by the hour. I wish I had experience of easy-going teens. I would currently like to move to Tierra del Fuego and not return for several years. I feel that Tierra del Fuego has little to recommend it to my lovely offspring, so they won't visit.

Luckily ds is at a play rehearsal for most of today. Dd is busying herself with the mirror and Facebook, as she did yesterday. Anyone like to come and take over for a bit, or do you have any good suggestions as to where I could hide on results day and for some time afterwards? Because if she goes into an extended meltdown when she gets her results and takes it all out on me/ her brother, I am going to need to be put in a straitjacket.

I am trying very, very hard. But I quite wish I wasn't here just now.

Stropps, sending you lots of big hugs and sympathy and from the garden centre.

I keep trying to remind myself that if it all goes tits up with either or both of my DC exam - wise, it is their problem, not mine and in any case, this has happened to many teens before them who have all lived to tell the tale....

Stropps, does she have any plans whatsoever?

DS's computer has just crashed…significant piece of work not backed up. I resign.

Rose, oh no :(

BTM, thanks. The trouble is, that the reality is that if it goes tits-up for dd exam-wise, it will be my problem. She won't do anything to help herself and the bald and unsavoury truth is that if she isn't in education or training, I can't afford to keep her. This is also true once she reaches 18 anyway, for reasons that I have mentioned before but won't go into now. Some things are probably ok if your parents have a reasonable income and can afford for you to stuff up and still support you. This is not the case here. I am trying my best, but if she won't go a certain amount of the way towards helping herself, I cannot fix everything if she really stuffs up. I have posted before about how I am doing my utmost to try and protect her from herself and I'm afraid that is also to some extent rooted in my worry about how I will deal with her crashing and burning, should it come to that. There's no manual for this stuff, is there? I just wish it wasn't all down to me all the time. I find it so tiring and I am absolutely no good at multi-tasking and never have been.

MI, she certainly has plans. But they all involve getting very good exam grades and magicking her way onto some kind of rather good university course. None of this is achievable by doing no work and even mediocre results are not going to get her where she wants to go. So on the one hand, she has genuine academic ability and high expectations, on the other hand, she does no effing work, has dodgy attendance at school and spends hours and hours farting about with makeup and messaging/ reading crap online (she says as much herself) rather than applying herself. Some of this latter is probably what her contemporaries were all doing at 13 or 14, when she was still very much at the puppies and hamsters stage and refused to wear shorts because she didn't want the world to see her bum.

Stropps and Rose - and. My DD has been pleasanter today although she has told me that any success in her life would be down to her. No doubt any failure will be down to me.

My DS is also showing teenage mood swings. He is thirteen in June and is becoming a total diva.

Took very quiet nephew out and bought him two respectable interview shirts as I could no longer stand the recycling of the grey shirt with the white collar!

Stropps - there must be somewhere warmer than the Terra del Fuego where they won't come.

Dunno, Hatty, I was considering St Helena, but I gather they're about to get an airport there, so that's ruined that plan.

Tierra del Fuego sounds pretty good to me - is that where Darwin went? Hugs to you Stropps, I have no useful suggestions but I understand what you mean. Even without those circumstances I think children having disasters does affect (loving) parents, whatever. Your relationship is strong and that is very important, IMO.

Think my dd is doing some of the partying her peers did years ago too.....

Very cheerful ds today, getting ready for ridiculous cadet trip involving physical hardship and no sleep, ideal prep for GCSE revision. He is so happy about his new belt though, it is impossible not to share his joy .

Plain, jersey, boys' or small men's pyjamas anyone? no superheroes or crass slogans.

lalsy, what about Uniqlo for small men's pjs? They have something called "loungewear" which looks like pjs to me. And yes, the Beagle visited TdF. I think there are maybe more penguins than people there. Sounds good to me. Re: your ds's new belt - is this a special cadet's award?

Yes! Stropps, brilliant idea. Uniqlo men are smaller than UK men too.

Have you read This Thing of Darkness? Really made me want to go to TdelF.

It is to do with that yes - I don't really understand it. He has another one which he set fire to earlier - apparently that is necessary. And he needs make up wipes - he's in the wrong household for that . Sundays don't get more exciting than this....

Lalsy - I got Okish PJ's at Tesco but that was a while ago now. This Thing of Darkness is a brilliant book - I felt so sorry for Fitzroy. On the other hand, it did not make me want to go to the Tierra del Fuego.

DS doesn't really wear pj's unless it's freezing. He has a pair of Tesco/Asda Full Man bottoms Otherwise it's just boxers!

One of his team now has a full beard/moustache combo. He is Italian, bit only 14 FFS!