Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

Original poster

Implying people should where hats to wedding

63 replies

DiDiddlyIDi · 09/03/2015 08:03

How would you feel if you received a wedding invite that said "Ladies: hats/fascinators will be welcomed?"
Will we really look like we are dictating what you should wear?

OP posts:
thenextday · 09/03/2015 08:04

I would totally ignore it.

iwantgin · 09/03/2015 08:04

i would hate to have to wear a hat or fascinator.

So I wouldn't appreciate a dress code on a wedding invitation, no.

AlternativeTentacles · 09/03/2015 08:05

Pretty much. Fascinators? Really?

Pretentious, moi?

LidlMermaid · 09/03/2015 08:05

Yes. And what about the men? Why does the headwear thing only apply to women?

flowery · 09/03/2015 08:05

Why would you be saying that?

DandyHighwayman · 09/03/2015 08:07

But fascinators are naff.

treaclesoda · 09/03/2015 08:08

It would cause me to raise an eyebrow and have a little laugh, and be mildly irritated at the same time. It wouldn't cause me to wear a fascinator because I don't think they look very nice. I like hats, but they can be very expensive, so I wouldn't go out of my way to wear one of those either.

Overall I'd think it was a little bit cheeky...

iwantgin · 09/03/2015 08:08

Ah -if it were a wedding where due to religious reasons head HAD to be covered then I would comply.

Otherwise, no.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 09/03/2015 08:09

Im at a weddig in August where I have already been told the Bride wants all the women in hats. All well and good except the whole event is in one building, it will be the height of summer and I will have two very small children to corral. Seriously, any hat I buy is just going to get slung somewhere and forgotten about.

Please dont dictate to your guests.

AlternativeTentacles · 09/03/2015 08:10

'hats/fascinators would be welcomed'.

'You - yes you - with your normal head. You are not welcome. Out. yes. Please leave now. Thanking you.

Bouncey · 09/03/2015 08:10

I think it's quite nice - it suggests that if you already have a hat then it's a great chance to wear it - but doesn't imply that you need to rush out and buy one. Quite a lot of people already have hats / fascinaters but might be put off wearing them in case they look overdressed.

Bunbaker · 09/03/2015 08:11

I wear glasses. If I wore my glasses, some earrings and a hat, my head would look far too cluttered. I would ignore.

In any case the invitation says that hats would be welcomed. It isn't an order, just letting you know that it is OK to wear one.

flowery · 09/03/2015 08:16

It could be saying it's ok to wear one, in case anyone was worried that it wouldnt be ok to do so to a wedding. But it would be coming across as saying we want you to wear one. And that would make me think it would probably be the kind of wedding I wouldn't enjoy very much.

assessment · 09/03/2015 08:16

I'd do the opposite, just to be contrary.

I think dictating what your guests wear is the height of bad manners.

YvesJutteau · 09/03/2015 08:24

I would read it as "if you have a hat that you're longing to wear, but are thinking 'I don't know; does anyone wear hats to weddings any more? Would it be appropriate?' then the answer is yes, please do wear it. There will be other women in hats, and you won't feel out of place." rather than as trying to dictate that you SHOULD wear one, but clearly others are more touchy.

Whirlwindinthecity · 09/03/2015 08:54

There's absolutely nothing wrong with it, in fact whenever I get an invite saying hats are either welcome or not required, I breathe a sigh of relief.

I think it's a fantastic way to signal the level of formality of the occassion - there's nothing worse for an invitation than to leave the recipient not knowing what to wear.

Saying hats are encouraged doesn't say "you must wear a hat", it says "wear a hat if you'd like to, other people will be wearing them so you won't feel odd if you do, but don't wear one if you don't want to."

For the same reasons, clarity on suits or morning dress for the men is extremely welcomed by my DH and his friends.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 09/03/2015 09:00

Of course it is saying you must wear a hat or a totally repulsively naff and silly television aerial on your head.

It would be great though. Because then I'd legitimately think fuck off you bridezilla and do something else that day.

maybemyrtle · 09/03/2015 09:03

Exactly what Yves said. Not sure why people are getting upset, even if they did dictate a dress code, so what?

haggardoldwitch · 09/03/2015 09:04

I think it means 'if you've got one & would like to wear it, great'.
No orders involved.

Badgerlady · 09/03/2015 09:07

I'm afraid it would throw me into a turmoil. I don't have any hats or fascinaters at all. I often wear Asian outfits to weddings and a hat with a shalwar kameez would look bloody odd. So I'd have to wear a dress and find a hat which I would be unlikely to wear again I think I would end up resenting you. I'd certainly end up resenting DH who would simply be able to don a suit!

Original poster
DiDiddlyIDi · 09/03/2015 09:13

Thanks all, mortified at my typo in the title of post Confused.
I guess like most of you have suggested is that you don't want to be dictated to ( who does) but given the chance to wear one you'd love to. Perhaps writing " hats/fascinators will be welcomed, but are not compulsory" would be better received.

OP posts:
Ragwort · 09/03/2015 09:18

I think any suggestion of what guests should wear is cheeky, surely you want your guests to feel comfortable and enjoy the day not be part of a 'show'. Hmm.

But I am the sort of person who hates any sort of 'dressing up' or 'theme parties'. And I usually send my regrets to wedding invitations anyway these days as I am a grumpy old git Grin.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 09/03/2015 09:22

Surely you dont actually need to mention anything? People who want to wear a hat or fascinator will just wear one regardless wont they?

Shedding · 09/03/2015 09:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlternativeTentacles · 09/03/2015 09:29

No, leave it out completely. Another reason why I hate weddings...People know that if they want to wear one, they can - as it is a wedding.