going to talk to my hairdresser about going grey!

[cardamomginger]

I had an appointment next week for cut and regrowth. I've just cancelled the regrowth part of it (kept the cut) and am going to talk to her about going grey!

I've been dyeing it chestnut brown (permanent) for years and I'm sick of the roots. I reckon I'm about 65% grey at front, sides and crown. Not sure about the back. I've got a short bob and it grows fast, but not willing to go much shorter. I'm prepared to put in the effort with different dyeing strategies and high/low lights whist it grows out. Not prepared to look like a badger though.

Feel exhilarated, but rather odd. I'm 43 and people usually guess I'm about 10 years younger. I quite fancy looking like a young woman gone prematurely (and stylishly - ha!) grey. Not quite so sure I fancy suddenly looking my age. Or worse yet.... Older....

Do it! I stopped dyeing my hair just before my 40th birthday. Two years later all the dye has gone and I love it! Check out the Going Gray, Looking Great Facebook page and their forum for inspiration. Also lots of great pics on Pinterest to strengthen your resolve when you are tempted to dye it again. I wouldn't bet on your hairdresser being supportive though. My hairdresser still suggests I put some colour through even though he knows how long it took to get rid of all the dye!

My hair dresser has been amazing, telling me how edgy it looks, understanding that you go thru phases of wobbles etc and has said that when it gets to the completely unbearable stage there are short term dye tricks she can use to weave thru the grey and darks bits to keep it looking good.

Thanks both of you! I was out in Central London this morning and kept looking at everyone's hair! At women who were grey and wondering what they'd look like with dyed hair, at women who clearly dye their hair and wondering what they'd look like grey and at those who needed their roots doing!

TBH I feel so conflicted. What I want is my brown hair back! But that ain't gonna happen . What I really want to get rid of is the re-growth. I hate it - I think it looks ageing and scruffy and kills any pretence that your hair colour is natural. So, it's either root touch up even more often that I am doing it (which I am loathe to do) or go for it! Whilst I really don;t want to suddenly look a whole lot older, I also don't want to just stick to the same hair colour and hair style for decades, long after it has ceased to be appropriate. I had my hair radically chopped a couple of years ago and feel so much better for it. So maybe it is time to tackle the colour???

I'm going grey... white streak at the front and a fair bit under the top layer...
I did 6 months cold turkey, and today had some very very fine and subtle highlights put in just to blend in the old colour growing out. It looks natural, I still have my white streak (I'm 47) and it looks fine. I plan to keep doing that with just occasional fine ones until the solid colour is all gone... then no more!

Can I please ask you all - what happens to the texture of your hair once you stop dyeing? Does the regrowth texture become the same as your original colour after a while?

My (much hated) grey roots now seem to need attention every 3-4 weeks, but I'm struck by how wiry and frizzy the grey hair around the hairline seems to be.

Have seen lots of gorgeous Pinterest images of beautifully groomed women with glossy grey locks, but I'm wondering whether I would just be swapping one kind of high maintenance for another to possibly aspire to that look? I also think that grey without too many wrinkles (I may have a few...) looks infinitely better than with, and the grey inspiration photos I've seen seem to feature either 30-somethings or lots of make up, which I won't be doing to get the kids to school in the morning...

Think I have just talked myself into the next root touch up appointment... but if anyone can reassure me I would loved to be convinced otherwise!

I haven't noticed a difference in texture. When I just had the odd grey hair it seemed coarse and wiry. However now there's a whole lot more of them they seem to be the same texture as my brown hairs.

I am 35, but very grey, naturally mid brown. Have stopped perm colour all over, and am now having thin blonde highlights. So much easier to manage, and blends the grey in. Good luck!

Well done all of you who have made/are making the transition!

Brit - I've been kind of thinking along the same lines. I have keratin treatment/Brazilian blow dry and that makes a HUGE difference to my hair. I'm committed to keeping it up, but could see that I might need to do it more frequently - brown hair that gets a bit frizzy and unruly seems a bit more acceptable to me than frizzy grey hair...
Also thinking the whole make-up thing will need to be revised. I'm so lazy about this. Plus I do a lot of exercise - more or less every day - and make-up is not something that is a priority, as I'd just have to take it all off before getting all sweaty and having it all running down my face and into my eyes. Was wondering whether I could get away with it with lash and brow tint and coloured lip gloss. I am sure I could manage that!

My appointment is Wednesday next week. Will see what she says and take it from there!

cardomom, it sounds like you have all angles covered - please do report back on how you get on next Wednesday! Would love to hear how it goes.

This is really interesting to me.

I'm the other side of your coin cardomginger. I am just past 40 and have never dyed my hair.

I have a few grey hairs into specific areas - not a lot but noticeable to me. I've very recently started using home hair dye on the few strands - because my hairdresser is all or nothing - they won't do a few hairs. So my only option was to do my few hairs myself.

I'm thinking that I'm getting to the point where I'm going to have to start dying the whole lot. But I want to delay as long as possible because I hate the idea of having to have regular apts and just dying my hair generally.

The upkeep sounds like hell. But on the other hand grey is so aging.

Brit - will do.

Bonfire - when I started going grey I could get away with highlights/lowlights to blend it in. Less radical and regrowth isn't so noticeable. I then moved on to semi-permanent colour, which is kinder to your hair and the regrowth isn't so dramatically noticeable. Would either of those options work for you, do you think?

mynameisnotmichaelcaine Are you me????

Same age, and just yesterday had highlights done to start blending in the greys a bit more easily as they always stand out in my brown hair.

I've heard good things about the aveda colour shampoos, black malva for dark brown/ black hair etc. I bought the clove shampoo today (light brown honey shades) basically to tone down my highlights but hoping after reading the reviews it makes my hair a bit darker withough dying it so often.

when I started going grey I could get away with highlights/lowlights to blend it in. . . .. I then moved on to semi-permanent colour. . . Would either of those options work for you, do you think?

Thanks for the suggestions cardomginger. Highlights maybe. My problem is that I am time poor at the best of times but also hate the hair dresser. Ultimate dead time. Generally, even getting to the hair dresser for a hair cut is a pain. It's not I'm not stylish. I have long hair and an expensive cut - but go as rarely as I can.

This hairdresser issue is why I have a fear of the dye-job. I have no interest in sitting there for a couple of hours every six weeks. It's why I have resisited the full dye job for so long.

I fear once you start, that is it forever.

That hatred/dead time feeling re the hairdressers is exactly why I am stopping the dye. Sick of it. I have curly hair so only need a cut every 3 months or so...but then 4 weekly grey root touch up is killing me. Can sort the money, though I resent paying it, it is just the time. I wish, wish, wish I had never started dyeing. Didn't even start to cover grey, just for a chanfe. Now I am probably 40% grey and the regrowth contrast is really bad.

You can phase your dye out with a temporary rinses to cover root growth and blend it in. The longer the roots get the more easy it is to do, ironically. I did this and it worked really well - and my hair was bob length (and brown). I'd say it took about 6 months with keeping it the same length.

Fizzy what temporary rinse did you use?

It was a while ago now (now I am completely white and go blonde) but I bought it from Boots and it was just one that says "washes out in 6-8 washes". I found if I kept it in a little longer (5 mins) it lasted a good 3-4 weeks and then faded out in wash. It was probably L'Oreal or Clairol but I don't remember which, sorry.

I have never dyed my hair mainly because i am to lazy to retouch roots. I am slowly but surely going grey. :)

Loving care 6-8 washes is very good
I am 42 and have been growing out bleach highlights for 7 months, my own hair is mid brown , i would have about 20 grey hairs max, I am thinking of using daniel fields natural colour to dye the greys and the bleach highlights to a dark blonde and they will blend in nicely with my natural colour.fingers crossed
I have saved a fortune by not going to the hairdressers every 6 weeks,and my own hair is so healthy.

I think it may have been loving care that I used actually. Sorry to be useless remembering. It was in 1997.

I went to see my hairdresser today and she was really enthusiastic about me going grey. She reckons I am about 80% at the front and in parts of my crown, going to about 30% at the nape of my neck. I currently have about 7 weeks of roots.

We have made a plan: full head foil highlights in cool ash-blonde tones and the left over hair will be permanent cool brown. (My dye colour at the moment is quite warm and that creates too much of a contrast with my roots.) As it grows, we'll see what needs to be done to keep blending it all in. We agreed that when I am all grown out, I might want highlights and lowlights to add interest and to keep me from looking too washed out - I am very pale so that could be a risk. I am booked in for 10th march!

That's fantastic - its great when they see it as a positive project with long term goals.

Thanks!

I was really pleased that she knew exactly what needed doing and produced pictures of fab women with fab grey hair (all the Pinterest stuff that we love) that she said we would get to.

Thanks for the update, cardamom, and how great that your hairdresser is enthusiastic and has a plan - it sounds very doable, and am sure it will look fantastic. Are you brave enough to post photos after 10th?

I resorted to the Nice n' easy root touch up and enlisted DD1s help - she made a splendid job of covering the grey behind my ears, shame about the rather large patch at the front that I missed. I think the (albeit less than stellar) results have confirmed that I'm Just Not Ready to take the plunge in growing the dye out. But am cheering you on from the sidelines!

Thanks Brit! Yes, I will get hair dresser to take before and after photos!