Help - I am a boring dresser

[hippospot]

As I turn 40 I realise my style is dull dull dull.

I have always been attracted to neutral colours and clean lines in the hope of being "elegant" and "chic". But suddenly I wonder if I have strayed into "older lady" territory by being a "safe" dresser.

I see other women my age who have a flair or an edge about them, and I suspect I'll never have that. I am definitely not, nor ever have been, trendy. Yet I don't want to look back in 10 years and think I dressed older than my age and didn't have fun with clothes.

In brief, I am tall and slim, short hair with a few greys that I don't dye, but the cut is good and hair is in good condition. I am a "winter" and unfortunately in winter 90% of my clothes are grey, black or navy (I find summer dressing much easier and wear more colour then).

I mostly wear skinny jeans, riding-style boots, stripy tops and cardis, knitted tunics or dresses, a scarf, nice naice leather bag, classic boring wool coat...

Please can someone give me some ideas! Any help much appreciated.

If you don't like colour, try experimenting with textures. Eg: wear grey skinnies and a grey jumper, but then add a grey lacy scarf, or a grey or black silk shirt under the jumper or a black leather bracelet, or a faux fur snood like the one linked to earlier etc.

Different greys can look great. This is nice, you could lose the rips if you're not keen.

here. Anyway pin has loads.

Jeans and a jumper - yay!

that northern lights woman should be banned - expensive coats in London and amazing looks

Thank you MrsCB I'm quite tempted by the snoods.

Frugal you speak a lot of sense

Marsha I'm a great fan of 50 shades of grey and like that look.

If I am wearing 50 shades of grey I'll try and add a cuff or scarf to add a bit of interest and give it a bit of a twist.

yep

I prefer the second now I see it here. First a bit billowy

Betty I love grey these days.

I'm going through a pared back colour phase. After buying loads of bright stuff

Mrs cb
I love your style posts and I am very similar in wanting a sort of elegant chic look.
I used to do more alternative and rock and roll but I'm a bit over that now .
I always say on these threads that my posts are about me and I respect others fashion choices and style differences absolutely.
In the words if the old cliché, the world would be a dull place if we all liked same things.
I agree though that ageism is wrong.
I was a far duller and safer dresser in my early thirties than I am now as a 47 year old grandmother

I wear grey when I want to feel more colourful than all black!

I do have an orange bag so I had to calm the hell down with the colours after I accidentally wore three different bright ones at once -flats/ top / bag. Never again

[frugalfashionista] what a fabulous and well thought out post. I'm guilty of having too many basics and as a similar classic dresser as the OP I verge towards dull as a result. I love the elegant snood idea but less so the Cape suggestions but then I am too classic for my own good some days. Diamond stud earrings are always going to be in style.

Le Catch is a great site, very nice outfits on there.

I am a classic dresser so know how easy it is to shift into boring if you're not careful. I did this and got myself out of this funk firstly by really focusing on accessories.

Not statement necklaces as I am way too short to carry that off, but as you're tall the opposite should be true for you. I tend to wear big cocktail rings or cuffs/bracelets. On the high street, Accessorize is great place to start, moving up, Swarovski is great too (especially as a lot of their stuff is at 50% at the moment). Moving up, then the Outnet tends to have some great stuff as well. The stuff that I wear during the day is what most people would wear for a special occasion. It really makes a big difference.

I also use colourful bags. I worked do someone years ago who was always known for her yellow bag. This was when everyone else was using black bags. This was a big influence on me and I have yellow, red, orange, pink and royal blue bags.

Finally, shoes. Occasionally I will jazz up an outfit with either sparkly shoes or something like leopard print.

As a winter, there is so much choice you have on vibrant colours. As I have got more confident I have bought tops in vibrant colours which I wear with black or beige trousers.

Hth!

Cos do the odd really nice bit, especially brilliant cuffs, for not too much money.

I own some lovely large-ish diamond studs but don't wear them a lot.
I think that the trick to making these classic items look more up to date is to wear them with casual stuff- so I might wear mine with cropped jeans and a T shirt in summer, and sling on a pearl necklace with the same ( not at the same time) rather than going down the predictable route of pearls/ diamonds/twinset or 'naice' dress etc.

Yup. FF's post is a lesson in speaking plainly - which I will endeavour to follow in my own posting this year.

OP it may be that you did indeed just want some pointers to new clothes - in which case I've misunderstood the underlying question in your thread.

And it may be that asking you how you want to look is pointless. I'm not sure I could answer the question. But I do know that it doesn't matter a jot what other people are wearing ...

You need an element of the unanticipated. We all know how sales work and how brilliant they can be. But to buy, in a sale, in advance, something from an unfashionable and deliberately inoffensive and invisible making shop, something that you have enough of and are already bored with, suggests that you prefer being organised to opening yourself up to the unexpected. (Although neither route is morally superior of course.)

You're right that you can't become (more) stylish by picking this person's cape and that person's boots. We all have an attitude to dressing that is shaped by personal history and experience. Do you think you might find some enlightenment by examining your own attitude to dressing, individuality, self expression? (You probably excel in all these areas. I otoh do not...)

But to buy, in a sale, in advance, something from an unfashionable and deliberately inoffensive and invisible making shop, something that you have enough of and are already bored with,

are we talking Boden?

Well that's what the OP said. I wasn't being facetious.

Thank you for all the fab tips.

I really don't know what I want to look like, except maybe a bit Parisian chic/elegant - this is the look I've always emulated except I think maybe I am wearing too many basics/classics.

Please be gentle with me, I turn 40 in only a few days and am definitely feeling a bit lost.

I do not own a Radley bag or diamond studs! I have a slouchy red leather shoulder bag for everyday, or sometimes use a Pliage. I wear quite plain chunky silver jewellery.

I will endeavour to read some blogs and try Pinterest - good ideas.

I adore grey but am wary of wearing so much now that I have some grey hairs (and I won't dye my hair for about a thousand reasons, too long to go into). Do you think I should avoid grey for this reason?

I had to google Claire Underwood - I ADORE her look! But shift dresses/pencil skirts and heels are not really compatible with my SAHM/freelance lifestyle! I do live in sleeveless fitted dresses in summer, my best time of year.

To try and answer some questions in no particular order: my best features are probably my arms and legs. I have broadish shoulders and smallish chest, which I realise makes me sound quite masculine, so I try to emphasise my smallish waist to make myself feel more feminine. I like cowl necks as they disguise my small chest somewhat. Being tall and smallish chested I know I can carry off long/chunky knitwear.

I found this but not sure if the pinkish colour would work on a winter: woolovers I am so tempted to buy the pale grey version!

Thanks for pointing me in the direction of Jigsaw for ponchos. I love this but is the blue ok for a winter? jigsaw

Thanks I think I will order that book for ideas.

Hippo don't forget the hedonic aspects! Try to pick items that excite you and feel pleasant and joyful to wear. The soft, smooth or glossy feel, the lovely color, the eye-pleasing cut. Clothes are not the main issue, it's about you - what you feel good in... That's true style!

I love Claire Underwood's wardrobe. Not boring at all to me, love its chic simplicity and high-quality materials. She actually inspired me to get a banker shirt! But I work from home a lot so cannot do her look all the time.

Ines de la Fressange has a style book, worth looking at if your shape is a bit boyish (flat-chested is great, means you can wear boy blazers and menswear). I also like this French style blog.

Zero fantastic post! I started out changing my style that was boring but discovered that I was really bored with my 'stuck' life. Figuring out what I really want and need (connection, belonging, excitement, self-expression...) has helped far more. After I started addressing all that, my style also fell in place.

Hippo, hitting 40 is not necessarily bad. It's kind of a shift in perspective too. In my twenties and thirties, I used to be known for my handbags. These days - early forties - the goal is to be known for being 'me'. The clothes are there to frame and enhance, not to steal the show. Hence neutrals, minimal makeup, staying near my comfort zone but sometimes breaking out a bit... (I'm innately formal so embracing casual was quite hard. For me the trick was to sneak in some menswear-inspired stuff.)

Marsha and MrsCB are fantastic dressers who have great taste - really worth listening to them!

And Remus, thanks for talking about texture. I love texture. Black velvet and black leather are totally different. I combine waffle knit with leather and am in love with quilting. And agree about terrific cuffs at COS.

Pica good luck with with your explorations!

High-tops - tried find them online but no luck, sample sale stuff last summer

Aw thanks Frugal right back at you

Feeling ultra stylish in post run kit. Although I suppose it all helps!

The jigsaw blue isn't a winter blue, not sure about the Woolovers pink. If it's raspberry it's ok, hard to tell online. The blue poncho is muted, you need clear and vivid like cobalt or indigo and navy. HTH.

Enjoy being 40, it's a great time to experiment and find a style just for you. I love the Jennifer Baumgartner book. Check out Vivienne Files too. Very Parisienne.

Do you like the blue? Then wear it!