Help - I am a boring dresser

[hippospot]

As I turn 40 I realise my style is dull dull dull.

I have always been attracted to neutral colours and clean lines in the hope of being "elegant" and "chic". But suddenly I wonder if I have strayed into "older lady" territory by being a "safe" dresser.

I see other women my age who have a flair or an edge about them, and I suspect I'll never have that. I am definitely not, nor ever have been, trendy. Yet I don't want to look back in 10 years and think I dressed older than my age and didn't have fun with clothes.

In brief, I am tall and slim, short hair with a few greys that I don't dye, but the cut is good and hair is in good condition. I am a "winter" and unfortunately in winter 90% of my clothes are grey, black or navy (I find summer dressing much easier and wear more colour then).

I mostly wear skinny jeans, riding-style boots, stripy tops and cardis, knitted tunics or dresses, a scarf, nice naice leather bag, classic boring wool coat...

Please can someone give me some ideas! Any help much appreciated.

Link to board

Oh dear - I have killed the thread. Oops.

No! Don't let the thread die - it's too good to meet an early death. More links please, and OP can we have a link to your navy wide legs please. I love any thread that has Remus and Georgina on it

Here are the trousers: Boden sale

A bargain, non?

Now I need to figure out Pinterest.

I covet a luxurious poncho, if anyone has seen one. I have seen a few grey ones but I need to get away from wearing grey all the time.

This looks cute. Too grey?

Thanks, Harvey, btw.

Thanks Remus, but I think I fancy something longer and maybe with a longer V-shape at the front iyswim. Or asymetrical?

Not at all what you want but too lovely to ignore

I got a steve madden poncho/wrap type thing from tk maxx earlier in the year.

It's a little like remus' link.

hippo
The White Company has a top that is very pointed at the front - take a look- and Jigsaw do a number of poncho-asymetric knitwear- again, online.

I think you should embrace your inner Claire Underwood - House of Cards. I loved her boring, lack of colour wardrobe - not a statement necklace in sight. If you are in need of inspiration do look on pin, you'll definitely find a look(s) you'll like on there.

Have you thought about mixing cerise or red with the darker colours that you wear in Winter? You sound as if you have got everything in your favour, ie tall and slim. For instance you could wear a slouchy bright jumper with skinny jeans or maybe a shift dress in cerise or red, with a contrasting jacket or cardi in a dark colour. You also sound as if you could suit wide legged trousers and maxi dresses as you have the height to carry them off. Another idea is dark/bottle green, that might suit you for instance in a dress.

Jigsaw cape

ACCESSORIES. I bet you have a full radley bag and wear dull. diamond studs. No ! Update your look with unexpected accessories. Maybe a handbag with studs on it it tassles or in an unusual colour.

Oh FGS! Ageism first thing on New Year's Day?

What is wrong with being 60? And when did all the 60 year olds synchronise their wardrobes? (To ensure that they all look "wrong".)

Is there no way of discussing clothes that doesn't involve putting down another age group?

Agree

If you're a winter then come and join us on the HOC winter thread (sorry, my stoopid iPad won't let me copy and paste at the moment). Lots of ideas if you want to wear more colour.

winter thread here

I think if you're quite a classic dresser who aims to look chic and elegant then you will probably feel uncomfortable if you try to do much 'rock and roll'.

I like an edgy look on other people but it just doesn't work on me. I like classic stuff but also aim to look a bit glam.

My most recent purchase is this which I copied from a very glam friend. It looks great with my slim wool coat and is very cosy.

At this time of year I live in ankle boots (acne colts in burgundy current faves), with skinnies and a cashmere jumper. I do like a nice necklace - am wearing this one a lot with crew neck jumpers.

I'd agree about using pinterest a lot and going shopping and just trying an awful lot of stuff on.

not edgy all over - just not be so predictable, I know if H says ' is that in fashion?' than it has hit the mark!!

I love that snood MrsCB very elegant. Do you have it in the same colour as your coat or in a contrasting colour? I have a black coat and was wondering if a black one would be too much.

Hippo take a look at some of these lovely faux fur stoles to add a bit of interest to your look.

I’ve been through all this and I think I know the way out!

I’m also not getting a good sense of who you are and what you like – exploring that would be a great first step. It sounds like you are yearning for more self-expression but a bit afraid to do that. Here are some points to consider:

1. Your best assets and body shape. Which parts of you do you want to highlight? Everyone has some lovely or interesting facial or body features. Plan your outfit in a way that your best parts shine. An easy thing to start with is your eye color - try a top in your eye color. Or pick a gloss or lipstick that makes your lips look lovely. Are you dressing your shape?

1. Your general orientation. Are you tallish and long-limbed? If you add long poker straight hair and a long tunic and a hanging scarf and tight straight jeans, the overall look may be too monotonous and the end result will feel boring. Adding vertical elements (stripes, belts, hemlines) can balance you out. If you are hourglassy or have pronounced cheekbones or a heart-shaped face, add diagonal elements to your outfits.

1. The proportions of your outfits. Do you follow the basic rule fitted top/looser bottom or looser top/fitted bottom? Fixing that often instantly balances an outfit. If you are tall, tunics can cut you in half. Many outfits look best if you follow a 3:5 or 5:3 proportioning. Try shorter tops (the trendy thing right now with higher-waisted jeans or trousers), or wear them ultra long with very fitted bottoms. The key tweak to my look is to get the hem length of my tops right. The safe bum-covering length is my worst length, instant dullsville.

1. Contrast level in color. Lots of people tell you to add more color, and it may work, but did not work for me. Analyze your personal coloring by mentally snapping a black and white photo of yourself. Do you have strong contrasts (blacks and whites)? If yes, add the same level of contrast (ie, bright whites or icy pastels) to your outfits. If you are mid-level contrast or muted contrast (all more or less uniform shades of gray), following that level of contrasts in your outfits will look great. I’m very muted and strong contrasts in clothes totally wash me out and make me look boring. My black and white is soft white and taupe! If you are mid-level contrast, experiment with jewel tones, adding one or two to your dark outfits as an accent color. Burgundy is in fashion this fall and its cooler shades might look really chic with your dark neutrals – try a bag or a scarf for example.

1. Basics. Are you wearing basics only? An outfit made fully of them will usually not look very exciting – few people will look really good in a long-sleeved cotton tee. If you wear basics, make sure they fit you right and are made of high quality materials – a viscose/polyester look can cheapen your outfit.

1. Classics. If you are a classic dresser, drawn to pared down looks, it’s easy to fall into a pattern of stocking up clothes in end or season sales. While some clothes are timeless, each season there are tiny adjustments to shapes and proportions. It might that your overall look feels boring because you are repeat-wearing something that worked in 2008 or 1996. (I was definitely guilty of that.) Another stumbling block is timeless clothes – they can age you because dressing has become so much more casual. Try a classic item in leather,

1. Accessories. They might be what you need but do remember that not everyone is a big accessorizer. I look and feel like a Christmas tree if I pile on the bling. I love one chunky bracelet and simple shapes. I often feel frumpy in scarves and usually do not include them in my outfits.

Jennifer Baumgartner has a terrific book, You are what you wear, worth a look. It has a chapter on dressing too old!

Blogs and Instagram are a great resource. A fairly classic dresser might enjoy Le Catch,WIT, Garance Dore and The Northern Light (she excels in winter neutrals!). Olivia Palermo is a good example of keeping a classic/preppy look looking modern. Finally, each decade there are some key designers who really define the look of the era – check out what Isabel Marant, J Crew, Celine and Acne offer this season. You can usually buy cheaper versions of their stuff at H&M and other chain stores.

Every season there are a few trendy items that can update a look. No need to be a slave, just pick one or two that feel ‘you’. This season, for me, they are a good quality parka, navy and metallic leather high-tops, pleather leggings (a good tweak for chunky-knit tunic length sweaters), and shorter tops. Not necessarily worn all together The rest is classics and basics!

Sorry about the long essay! It took me years to figure all this out – hope some of it will help you!

I got the black and will wear it with my charcoal grey coat.

I do like a bit of contrast but imagine the black would look great with a black coat too.