Crepeyistmas Time, Camel Toe and Whine...

[MrsSchadenfreude]

Pandering to the uncouth...

I think exotic fruit salad is a very good idea - minimal prep and delicious. How about making frozen yoghurt instead of meringues to go with? Even less effort and skill involved. You can make something divine with greek yoghurt / coconut milk / chopped up crystallised ginger. Just mix and stick in freezer, giving ocasional stir. Job done.

Yes, definitely pomegranate! Always looks very Christmassy somehow.

I am about to expire through tiredness. The tree is still bare. I have the Freaky Eaters coming over later. I cannot possibly start to cater to their odd whims so they can have fruit if they are hungry. I cannot make a cake for people who eat neither grains nor nuts, can I?

Top tips oh creped ones. Exotic fruit salad it is. Lime juice also v good over such things, I believe.

I'm slightly hidebound by having to transport said dessert from our house to MiL's on Christmas Eve, store it at MiL's, remember to take it away again and transport it to DSis on Boxing Day. Anything frozen may end up very much not frozen by the time we get there.

Can you tell I'm supposed to be writing my assignment? We were supposed to get feedback from the first one before this one had to be handed in, giving a steer as to whether one is hitting the right tone, etc. However, this hasn't happened so I am fumbling in the dark, a trifle.

Tomorrow I am making Kharko - it is a beef stew with walnuts, spices and pomegranate juice. Shall I put the recipe up here?

I am back from having my boobs squeezed. I always find it an odd experience when the technician is manipulating your bits around - they said I would hear in 2 - 3 weeks.

I am with MI, whoever eats a healthy dessert? I would go with pavlova topped with Greek yoghurt and raspberries - in fact I am as I am doing that for Boxing Day.

Yes please, MrsS, I love your recipes.

I was just about to suggest exotic fruit salad with pomegranate

MrsS your beef stew sounds good, but not sure about grainless, nutless cake is possible. Are your friends stick thin?!

I think I may be the only one who does more or less what I want at Christmas. If DH cooked the dinner, it would be perfect!

DH and I are chilling in a cafe having left the teens with the GPs. I have told him we are NOT rushing - it is the hols and we need to relax!

We are indeed having on Christmas Day Eton mess made with frozen raspberries, dammit.

Email from DSis:
^I am taking DP (and some others) for her birthday to see the raw and harrowing film about an orphaned young illegal immigrant trying to scratch a new life for himself in inner city London.

Her birthday cake therefore has to be a marmalade sandwich cake.^

It took me a re-read for the penny to drop and indeed to recommend choc orange cake. God I'm thick.

Yes please, MrsS. And Lalsy, please could you send me the link to your most excellent recipe collection?

Oh FFS DP has another group phone call at 7.30 tonight to do with t'ai sodding chi.

Stropps, just seen your post about DD - how horrid and scary. Hope it all subsides and she is OK again. Not what she (or you!) needs!

Stropps - that is worrying regarding DD - hope all goes well at the doctors.

NU fingers crossed for your scan and dental appointments.

Mrs S - you are right - no time for freaky eaters.

I feel vaguely unwell but not seriously - I have booked Eurostar and onward to the a north east for February and the coordination of the two has almost driven me to distraction. I'm sure something will go wrong. Also very annoyed because various family members faffing around has meant a week delay in booking during which time the prices have hiked by 12 euros adding an whopping 48 Euros on top the overall return price for two.

Need to go and find a turkey somewhere but have not actually room in the fridge.

I'm at work today, leaving DH to child-wrangle and clear up the devastation caused by a weekend of decorating. I think I got the better deal.

We braved Kingston yesterday, just DH and I, but it was surprisingly quiet, even the car parks. There's a Hema! I bought a little pot for the toothbrushes for the new bathroom.

about the tattoo, Crem, although it does seem to be in a fairly hidden location. You must be sooo pleased to have DD back, even if she will be getting a plate of sprouts for Christmas dinner. Veggie I could cope with, but vegan is hardcore.

at Beachy's flying poo - that mental image did make me chuckle. But seriously, I hope you weren't too bruised.

Rose - have a lovely break, you deserve it.

Strops - yikes, DD's reaction sounds nasty.

Healthy dessert?? Pah.

Fruit salad always a winner here Herbs. I am putting together a chestnut chocolate torte and dd will just have to have oranges in burnt caramel with a dollop of 'non-dairy ice cream' vom.
I have also made a kind of mushroom crumble as a main course and shoved it in the freezer. Dh will also eat that. The rest of us are having a rack of lamb oozing with juices and pink in the middle. I've just printed up Ottolenghi's Brussels sprouts recipe with lemon peel.
I am just glad to have dd home( tattoo or not) but discussing Feminist Principals at breakfast did make me queasy.
In other news the house is a pit. When, WHEN?! will I get a Hoover round I ask?

Tell DD you need her to experience the lived reality of so many women's lives before she can theorise about it, and get her to do it.

MI

Here I am struggling through the day - will leave around four, do some last bits of Christmas shopping and then staying at a mates - this means everyone gets a lie-in in the morning as dp doesn't need to do the station run and I don't need to get up quite so early.

Healthy pudding

DP has phoned from the supermarket. Surprise surprise, the ingredients for Nice Food cannot be purchased there. Here we go again, another Christmas of boring nasty food.

But with plenty of veg, no doubt MI.

I'm very impressed that you always spell the Martial Art That Shall Not Speak It's Name correctly, even when vexed. I'd be very tempted to be disrespectful in its direction.

I am fed up beyond belief. DH was only supposed to be working this morning. Called him when friends arrived, said he would "be leaving soon", they hung on and hung on, and said they had to go and see their old neighbours. Called him, he was still in the office and no intention of leaving anytime soon.

DD1 appears to have broken the coffee machine. DH will explode with rage when he sees it. Tree is not decorated. The lights all have European plugs on, and the adaptors are not in the box with them, which is where DH swore blind that they were. DD2 has informed me that she has no money to buy my Christmas present, and I will have to give her £10 to get it. We have no Christmas food at all, beyond a pudding. We have no turkey, no alcohol, nada. We have no present for DD2, as DH was going to get it and has left it too late, which means that I will have to go and have a look in Oxford Street this afternoon, as no doubt his "importance" in his job will mean that he is working tomorrow too.

I am very grumpy, aren't I .

I shall search east Dulwich tomorrow for cherry compote/cherries in kirsch/posh cherry jam and small bottle of kirsch or brandy. ON MY OWN. They allege in their "we thought we should tell you now on the phone because we know you will be cross" call (ha!) that they have combed the Big Sainsbury's. I don't believe them. And frankly there is no bloody point buying all the other ingredients for choc cherry trifle if the cherry bit isn't there, is there?

Christmas is indeed truly vexing...
I'm taking the approach of doing very little and refusing to be stressed by it all.
If it's any comfort I too have no food in yet, have vague menu plans but not even a shopping list, have a tree in the living room (listing like the leaning tower of Pisa) which has no decorations on it and a dh who has gone back to London for a couple of days for his 'very important job' but who neglected to tell me these were his plans until very recently....
I felt so furious with him that I gave myself a migraine yesterday and spent the whole day lying in a darkened room - which at least stopped me from arguing with him. Today I am taking more zen like approach to things, from the comfort of the sofa, after a very bracing walk with ddog and 2 unenthusiastic teenagers.
Solidarity crepeys.

MI - can you try Lidl/Aldi for the cherries in kirsch/posh cherry jam?

I think we are all grumpy. DD2 is trying to help and sort out the lights, DD1 has gone to her room and there is much shouting from DD2 coming from there about how they need to help Mummy more...

On the plus side, I've just taken delivery of a huge box of potatoes - I am supposed to try out type A and type B and review them on the experimental potato website...

An experimental potato site???

MrsS, my DD1 is going shopping tomorrow. Get your DD2 to phone her and they can take off together? I shall pursue the local options, because at the very least I can buy some cheap brandy. I am not using the tinned cherries in syrup . I do realise how utterly princessy this makes me sound but I just want some nice food.

Another friend has just emailed me with the details of her screaming row with her DP over, guess what, shopping for Christmas food.

I have not progressed much - we have Christmas pudding and alcohol plus streaky bacon for over the turkey that I have not yet got!