Help! I have 12 days to turn around years of neglect.

[GaryTheUnicorn]

I've been burying my head in the sand about how bad things have got, I looked in the mirror honestly today and I look like utter rubbish. I have know for a long time that things were bad, but instead of getting better it has got worse. I now have 12 days to a big event and I cannot bear to go looking how I do.

TBH I got away with a lot when I was younger and never really needed to do anything. I am tall, was slim and could get away with jeans and a fitted tee or a pretty top on a night out. I'm fair, have dark hair an pink lips so never really needed anything more than a little base, some blush and a slick of mascara.

Things started to change when I hit 33, I have always had a little grey but it really took over. I was very depressed and was on ADs for a while, I piled on the weight and started to look crap. Then I came off the ODs and never lost the weight. I started Uni and still wore jeans and t shirts but bigger not fitted ones, i didn't make any effort with myself. My relationship broke down and I became invisible and hid behind this ugly image.

I embarked on a healthy eating regime and doing the 30DS when I graduated, I lost a stone in a month and looked and felt a lot better. But things have slipped again. I've not gained any weight but I am bloated, my skin is dehydrated and I am generally disheveled with 2 inches of grey roots.

I want to turn this round but feel it is insurmountable, I have no style, I am 37 and live in jeans and t shirts. I can't do make up and I can't get away with it anymore, my skin tone has changed and I would look a million times better with some make up but am rubbish at it. I just look so tired and grey.

I'm drinking to much wine, coffee and diet coke and eating too much rubbish, I also smoke like a chimney. Not a good combination.

I'm going to have to turn this around in someway. I need to feel better and take care of myself so I look better. Any tips for how I can return to the human race.

Can you quit the coffee and cigs beforehand too? Get yourself a patch maybe? The smoking really dehydrates your face. If you're doing the shred you might not want to undo all that good by smoking afterwards - I wouldn't anyway

Can you go out for a brisk walk somewhere green every day? The fresh air will do you a world of good and might help you sleep better along with the other things you're trying.

Sounds like you're doing really well already my only little bits of advice might be to go to a make up counter in a departments store and let them show you how to make yourself up nicely, then try out their tips at home. Also, if you are after new clothes for your trip without spending too much, can you get to the poshest area / town near you and scour the charity shops? This is my favourite pastime EVER and I have got some awesome stuff over the years.

Going against the grain here, but giving up smoking is a real toughie. Get through the upcoming event before planning how you can quit.

Not drinking wine really helps, both in terms of how your skin looks and bags under they eyes, and knocking of a couple of pounds and a lot of bloat really quickly.

Exfoliation and massage can make you feel good quickly.

You have a farting goldfish? I think how you look is the least of your worries!

Not everyone finds giving up smoking hard. Some people can decide to do it and sheer will power gets them through. Make sure you don't swap cigs for food though and find something that keeps your hands busy if that is an issue. Paint your nails as it stops you smoking and eating. Clean your teeth whenever you want to eat but aren't hungry.

You have inspired me and I am going to give myself a manicure and pedicure this week and use a facial scrub later. Just taking a few minutes for yourself when your whole day is filled doing jobs and things for everyone else, really helps.

Just popping on quick before lunch with the family.

I've dyed my hair and am looking much better. Also put a little make up on and dressed in a nice shirt I got in the Pull and Bear sale rather than just pulling on jeans and a hoody. I do feel better for it.

I think a new rule is I get up and dressed nicely for work each day instead of slobbing around in my pajamas as it does improve my mindset. I'll still see what I look like even if no one else does.

A walk each day, maybe before lunch, is a very good idea. There used to be a fantastic charity shop near hear but since the recession bit the quality has dropped, it used to be Monsoon and Boden clothes and now it's just cheap stuff and the odd bit of country casuals. I might see if my mum fancies taking me to lunch in Henley one day to peruse the charity shops there.

I've dug out my ecig and my brother is giving me some juices for it. Even if I just cut down it'll be a help.

Porpoise they are very special goldfish .

Scuse all the errors, it's the iPads fault honest.

to add to list, give up bread and white carbs and sugar if poss. Will only take a few days to notice depuffing in face and stomach.(in my experience)

The things that will make the most difference to your appearance will also save you money:

Cut out fags, alcohol, coffee (switch to china or green tea), diet coke and junk food.

All those junky chemicals really make you bloat and add to cellulite.

Change your diet to include fresh fruit and vegetables, lean meat, complex carbohydrates.

You well feel amazingly better, and you will notice yourself looking more healthy quite quickly.

I don't agree it's that hard to give up smoking if you're determined. I stopped one day, I had one cigarette a week after giving up, and then I never had another.

Make up - can you go into a department store and ask for a make over (you probably don't need to buy anything but I would feel guilty and purchase something cheap) - that way you'll get show what colours etc suit you and how to apply the make up. A good foundation is essential - boots actually has a machine that they use to match you up to one of their (not too expensive) foundations.

Just checking in Gary, sounds like you are doing really well, keep going. Maybe start a list of all the things you do well and what helps so you can refer back to it in the future.

Hey Gary, just read this, good luck to you!

Last year I had "let myself go" a bit, gained weight, scruffy, eating crap etc.

Much better from new year and one of the things that really helped was to start thinking of myself as a fit, healthy, beautiful woman. It sounds a bit woo but it really helped - eg beautiful women walk tall, dress nicely, treat their hair, moisturise etc. Fit women exercise and don't feel as though people (especially themselves!) will take the piss. Healthy women don't eat crap, snack on raw veg, drink lots of water and don't drink every night.

And by thinking of myself as fit, healthy and beautiful I got better looking, fitter and healthier.

12 days! You can do so much in that time.....
When I quit fags i was glowing after three days
Drinking three litres of water a day will really help skin plus firm up any wrinkly bits
Rosehip oil.
no carbs sweets wheat or alcohol....it will hit your skin quickly.
Sleep

Skin is the quickest way to looking younger Imo.

Sounds like you're doing great Gary!
I'm (ahem) another filthy smoker though I've been on the e-cig the last couple of days. My skin feels better for it already.
Another tip for smokers skin is to get the Dr Organics Rose serum from Holland & Barrats. It's amazing. Has turned my skin around.
Another life saver has been my nutri-bullet. I whizz up veg and fruit, seeds and nuts with almond or coconut milk and voila! Your 5 a day in one hit! I've really noticed having more energy since using it.
Lastly, think about having a personal shopper thing done. A friend had it done in John Lewis and she said it was fab. Oh, and Lisa Eldridge has great on-line make-up tutorials
Good luck!

Thank you all, I can't express how much you are all helping!

Ended up staying all evening with my family so too late to do a bath and a facial. But I have deep cleansed my face and and have used some Alpha H. I'm feeling all positive, my mum is treating me to a bikini wax and pedicure and has promised to buy me some new bras. We are going to do lunch and charity shopping in Henley too. She also bought me lots of healthy food, I think they've been waiting for me to do this for a while . I've got chicken chunks marinating in spices and lemon juice for my lunch salad.

I've decided to spend 5 days getting myself in better shape and then look at make up and style after. So my plan for the next 5 days is:

Shred every morning.
Do 20 minute beginners yoga video when I finish work.
Go outside for a brisk 20 minute walk everyday before lunch.
Get myself dressed nicely for work each day and put on basic make up.
Morning and evening beauty routines covering all the basics.
No alcohol, diet coke, coffee. Limit to 2 cups of black tea a day.
2 pints of water plus herbal tea.
Healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner with lots of vegetables and good fats.
Use my ecig instead of skanky rollies.
Write down 3 positive things every day.
Do a beauty treatment each evening then get in bed early with my book and some chamomile tea.

I'm feeling positive, I know it'll be tough tomorrow. I'll be feeling the effect of the shred and it will seem like a lot to get done. But I can do it, it is only 5 days, I can do anything for 5 days.

I was tempted to stop for some wine and chocolate on the way home, looking at the hideous before photos of me on my phone soon quelled that urge!

Chocolate is ok if it's good quality, high cocoa solids, no additives.

If you go cold turkey you may get the mother of all headaches this week as you detox.

could be helpful op

Not an instant fix but how about Couch to 5K? There's lots of support for runners on here and if you can eventually achieve 5k there's the brilliant Parkrun if you have one near you. Regular exercise might help your sleep too.

You're doing great ??

Woo hoo! Go Gary!

Hi Gary how's your day been?? Give us an update hon.

Go you!!!

This sounds wonderful. But don't beat yourself up if you don't get absolutely everything done every day. It's a lot of changes at once.

Try and pick three or four things that are compulsory, and then fit in the others if you can.

I would say, do sport once a day - it should help you sleep better and will give you more energy.

Try and drink green tea (you can get it with lemon if it's a little bitter for your tastes) and water, or hot water with lemon instead of black tea and coffee.

Try and eat as well as you can, and take a multivitamin. If your diet has been poor for a while you will probably notice a difference after two weeks of taking it.

Try and keep up the non smoking.

That's four substantial things - the rest is great as well, but don't beat yourself up about them too much.

Sorry I've not been here, internet was sketchy yesterday.

Going well so far, I've kept up with the shredding and my beauty routine and things are looking much brighter. The whitening toothpaste and lack of red wine are having an effect which is motivating me to quit the cigarettes for good. Amazing what a difference you can make it such a short time.

I'm feeling really proud of myself this morning, I was woken up in the early hours by an alarm going off, I managed to get back to sleep but felt really groggy and a bit sick when I woke up and couldn't face shredding. So I did 2 hours of work and have just done my exercise and showered. I've got some stuffed peppers in the oven for lunch then I'll crack on with the rest of the day.

Cinema tonight and I am going to have to resist the cheesy nachos!

Loads of good advice, I have your colouring and I would also suggest a pale pink blusher (like Benefit Dandelion, but that's expensive, but you may already have something similar) - really makes you look fresh and awake.

It is possible to give up smoking, I did it. The thing that helped me most was seeing it as I wasn't giving anything up, I was giving myself something new – clear air to breathe all the time, better skin, more money and future health. Every fag I didn't have wasn't missing out, it was giving myself that much better gift, IYSWIM. Allan Carr's book was great for motivation and I only even read a few pages - it just worked.

And I agree with sticking with the clothes you feel comfortable in, like jeans, but with a slight update - a flowy silk top or sequinned t-shirt etc. Nice necklace, hair colour, make-up, etc rather than a complete fashion revamp for this event. You need to feel like yourself.

The thing with healthy eating, drinking more water etc. is it's all about habit. It's really hard at first because you're having to consciously change. But seriously it takes less than a week before your body adapts and you start actually wanting the glass of water and salad or fruit. I like fizzy water sometimes, as a replacement for coke etc. I eat like that most of the time now and I'm not just saying this, I like it. It isn't difficult or self-denying. I eat what I want, and sometimes have some chocolate or wine etc., but I just don't feel any desire to have too much – my habits have changed and now it's quite easy. So hang in there, it will not stay a struggle.