Forever Autumn Forever Crepey

[cremolafoam]

The summer sun is fading as the year grows old,
and darker days are drawing near,
the winter winds will be much colder,
now you're not here.
I watch the birds fly south across the autumn sky
and one by one they disappear
I wish that I was flying with them,
now you're not here

Oh MI :(
That is, as you say, not a good stage.

How's your mum? And how are you?

She is a bit in shock. So am I.

MI, so sorry. Take your time absorbing it all and be kind to yourself. x

Oh MI, that is horrible. It's good that a plan is in place, and that you can be useful. I guess it's a 'one day at a time' scenario.

Think need to cancel India trip

When are you due to go, MI? Don't cancel it yet; wait and see how things go.

Thinking of you. xx And as Lalsy said, be kind to yourself.

Oh MI, that's tough news to take. But you have a plan, at least. When is your trip to India planned? What stage of treatment does it coincide with? If it won't cost you any less to wait and see before cancelling, then maybe do that - she might cope with it better than you think.

Herbs - that school sounds so much better, and hopefully your visit will help you to decide. The church thing is a very minor detail, really. And forget feeling guilty - you owe his current school nothing.

Handbags, Ruby? Four?! More info needed....! I've put a Longchamp Le Pliage on my Christmas list (very classic - MrsS has one, I think); I'm just hoping it doesn't end up like my last Longchamp handbag which was eaten by mice.

DD1 and I just did a "nosy neighbour" trip down the road to spy on DIY SOS. The gang were all there, in their purple teeshirts, and we got an "alwight?" from Billy the electrician.

Going in Nov. The friend I'm going with is fairly keen we cancel, not to guilt trip me but being realistic. Also I'm not sure relatives in India will take kindly to being stayed with under the circs. I will investigate the different options. It is not very good whatever we do.

I shall opt for egg/fish fingers and oven chips for tea, ameliorated by salad (for all) and the last of the red wine (for me)

Fair points, MI - in that case I would postpone.

Oh MI, that sounds very worrying for you all Have you any idea what stage the treatment will be at in November? Could you give it till October to make a decision?
And egg and chips would be my DC's idea of heaven

I have many handbags but they are all cheap - any "designer" ones were from TK Maxx!

MI you have done very well today in the circumstances. Certainly, stage 3 is not great, but they are treating your DM quite aggressively just reading what you've said (might be wrong…) which to me (no expert) is a sign that they think she can withstand the treatment. I guess they won't confirm that stage until they biopsy is done?
If you need to postpone the trip can you think again when there's a clear idea of the treatment schedule and how DM is coping? (I had to cancel our family hols with 2 days notice…literally taking things out of the suitcases, weeping when my diagnosis came through. But once the chemo was under way I realised I had a good 9 days or so between rounds and we went on a lesser trip with the children a couple of months later) The hotel from the original trip (Scotland, not India!) gave us vouchers to use at a later date we we explained. Wine sounds just the ticket.xx

Herbs this is good news….go for it!

Going to choir…first of the term. Apologies are rolling in.

I'm so sorry about your Mum and your visit to India MI. Under the circumstances, you'd probably just worry throughout your trip so it maybe it would be best to postpone.. Hope you're relaxing a little this evening .

MI, I am so very sorry to hear your news. When does the treatment start? Is your mum going to get the holiday she was talking about last week? I, too, would hold off on India decisions until you know a little more. Thinking of you

Herbs, the new school sounds much more suitable. The communication at your current school sounds very poor - you can't rely on the 5 year olds to know what is what and to report accurately that it is PE on Tuesdays or whatever. Everyone who has joined mid term chez nous has settled in within a few weeks. If your new school is full of supportive parents, no doubt DS will be round to play at someone's house very quickly and then he will have a pal and feel cheery about school. It is horrid when they are unhappy isn't it? Is the school far from you? Does it have after school clubs etc in case you need them in the future? None of the C of E schools round here have much God in them, so I wouldn't worry. At least your DS will know some hymns and will be able to sing lustily at weddings when he's older. My lot will be mouthing at the back.

BD, that sounds so scary about your school. I hope everyone is OK, especially the chap concerned. It must be dreadful to feel like that when only a teenager.

Hello to everyone else. Sorry I am not keeping up. Work v busy and reading on bus home. Knackered.

Back later I hope

Oh MI, that's really tough. Your poor mum. And I'm also very sorry for the whole family. I hope there is a coming together of some kind whereby the greater Inferior Massive are are to help each other to support one another.
But you know we're here for you too. Ok? And don't be reading scary medical websites either if you can manage it.

Pardon my expletive .Bastard cruel cancer.

Yes, we're here. Very sorry, MI. Hard to see how India in Nov can work out but give yourself a few days to mull it over if you can.

Hope mini BD had better day at school.

Yes, I'll mull. Getting lots of conflicting advice about it.

My sister has reverted to being a total star. And various cousins (not related to my mum directly at all) also being splendid. So there is considerable solidarity.

I think uncertainty is very hard and exhausting to live with, especially when everyone is fragile emotionally. Cancer and its treatment gives families an awful lot of uncertainty to live with, to juggle every day through ups and downs, and as things stand India is adding more uncertainty. I think mulling for a bit is a good idea, and people's advice may change as they absorb the latest news. Was it just you going (no dh or dds)?.

MI {{ }}

Turns out the boy is on the autistic spectrum and had been bullied (so big black mark for the school for not dealing with that although they say the didn't know - could be true as he was a bit of a loner). Clearly he snapped, but the whole thing was overblown too. He apparently walked to the next railway station and took a train and bought a box of lego.....

Terribly sad - feel for him and his parents. And a bit at the school for describing him as an 'assailant' - surely there are other ways of putting it?

Big messages about informing about bullying, and everything back to normal.

BD, so sorry for the boy and his family. Plus anyone innocent who got caught up in it.

Oh BD, that is so sad. :( And the reporting of it just makes me

MI, I am sorry to hear about the outcome of the meeting. I hope you will be able to go on your India trip when things are clearer. Sorry to hear about the horrible treatment schedule for your dm.

MI, so sorry to hear your DMum's news. It's such a bastard illness, but I'm glad they are treating it. And planning an op.... That's all positive.

MI - stick your fingers in your ears, go "lalalalalalala" and do what feels right for you at the time. I agree with others, it is positive that they are treating the cancer and planning to operate.

Have just told my mother (after a lengthy conversation with my cousin) that if she wants to see her elder brother she should go to the hospice this week, and I will go with her, as he has deteriorated a lot, has a chest infection and is on oxygen. She now (predictably) wishes she had gone to see her other brother, but is now dithering about seeing this one, "as he probably won't know who I am." My cousin said he will, and if it is one of his good days, will have a good chat with her - he is better on stuff in the past than present. She rather lamely made an excuse about "the journey up there" - she sits on a train for 30 minutes, then 20 minutes on the tube. I refrained from pointing out that she managed to get herself to the Caribbean a few weeks ago, which is significantly further and a more arduous journey.

So sorry to hear about your mother, MI, that's tough news. I hope the best thing to do re India becomes clear soon.

BD - I wondered about the reporting of that school incident and although I'm about it being at your ds's school, it does sound like one of those awful perfect storm events that has blown up. Feel desperately sorry for everyone involved.

Must go to bed now as I have a ton of stuff to do in the morning, then I have to go into work (on my day off, ) for a v dull interview and then hotfoot it to Kings for a back Xray, which will no doubt come back as normal leaving me none the wiser about why I can barely walk for the first hour of every day. Still, in amongst this over activity, things are going well. Ds2 is settling into his new school well (Herbs - deep breath, just do it, your instincts are right) and was delighted to find the music person was someone who used to lead his toddler music group and that football person was someone who knew him from an after school footie club two years ago. So he feels special and fussed over and I am .

MI hope you are okay this morning.

I have seethed a bit over night over that word assailant and decided I will mark myself down as a pain in the arse parent by writing to the head. Whilst it is factually correct it is so unsupportive of a child who is/was a pupil and the parents. it's the courts job to make legal assessments, not the school IMHO, it's desperately sad as it is without the School adding to it....