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Original poster

At my wits end with bras!

48 replies

CripesItsTheGasMan · 28/08/2014 14:52

I had a bra intervention a while back and my measurements told me to try 34f/36e . I tried 34dd, e and f but the 34 band was sooo tight that it hurt and left marks that didn't fade for almost a day Confused

I'm now wearing a 36d after trying it on in the shop but now I've been wearing it for a few days it still doesn't feel 'right'. I've scooped but there's still a lot of space in the cups.

I'm at a loss what to do now,I just want a comfy fitting bra Sad

OP posts:
sansucre · 28/08/2014 15:58

The 36d isn't the right size then. If there is space in the cups then they're too big and if it doesn't feel right then it's not right!

The thing is, most of us have been wearing the incorrect bra size from the second we put our first bra one. Because of this, we're so used to ill-fitting bras that we don't know how they should fit or feel. The band should be tight because that's where the support comes from. I remember when I went from being a 32c to a 28e and the bra felt so much tighter and like you, I have red marks for a few days. But less than a week later the marks had gone, the bra felt much more comfortable, in fact, for the first time in my life I wasn't even aware it was wearing one. I've not looked back since.

It might also be that the style your bought isn't the right shape for you, so again it's worth going to try a wide variety on in your new size and you will find one that feels just right.

Good luck!

Original poster
CripesItsTheGasMan · 28/08/2014 20:15

Thank you for your reply. The 36 band feels tight-ish but the 34 was painful. I'm losing weight so hopefully that will help Smile

I don't have much choice shop wise where I live. Bravissimo is 2 hour drive away .

M&s say I should be a 38a Shock

OP posts:
Dosydoly · 28/08/2014 20:39

Sorry to hijack but I'm also at my wits end! Measured as per a link I'd seen her on another thread and got 32J, ordered online it arrived today, thought it was perfect at first but after a couple of hours the gore was digging in so much I thought I might actually damage myself if I didn't take it off Confused please someone help me!

Original poster
CripesItsTheGasMan · 28/08/2014 20:44

Glad it's not just me. I don't know what sizes to try now.

OP posts:
SorrelForbes · 28/08/2014 21:01

Can you both post your measurements?

Dosydoly · 28/08/2014 21:41

32 inches and 45 over the fullest part. Thanks for any advice!

Original poster
CripesItsTheGasMan · 28/08/2014 21:44

34under, 41 over

OP posts:
SorrelForbes · 28/08/2014 23:35

Dosydoly I think the 32 is probably about right size wise. Some gores do come up quite high and some dig in more than others. Which bra is it?

CripesItsTheGasMan I'd suggest a 34F, possibly even a 34FF. Do you have any 34s? If so, can you try it on back to front to see if the band is ok (without being skewed by the cups)?

Are you both scooping?

SorrelForbes · 28/08/2014 23:36

Sorry OP, I just re - read your original message about scooping and empty cups. Which bras are you trying? Are they moulded ones?

Twinklestein · 28/08/2014 23:42

You have to bear in mind that the Mumsnet lore of discarding your old band size in favour of your actual chest measurement has not filtered through to a lot of bra manufacturers who are still making them to the old sizing.

If you go to Rigby & Peller they disregard all hypothetical measurements and just go by eye.

That's the only way to get the sizing right.

Lucked · 28/08/2014 23:47

I have also bought some new bras which have turned out too tight to wear., I think you just have to try on lots, even within one brand I can have one great fitting and another not quite right

ElephantsNeverForgive · 28/08/2014 23:53

Totally agree OP, if I follow the bra gurus advice I get empty cups and pain.

I don't get support from a tighter band just discomfort.

I've never even bothered trying on the recommended 34, I couldn't even do it up.

I've bought a 36 and an extender to put it back to a 38 or it would have gone in bin.

It's driving me nuts, my old 38 B M&S bras fit, new ones don't. They've moved the underwires.

I have one expensive 38 D which feels comfy, but it's OTT, thick and lacy.

I hate bras! I don't want the forth road bridge. I want the absolute minimum of seamless soft fabric that for fills the convention of wearing the ridiculous things and No PAIN.

PS. I do realise that straps that stay on my narrow, round shoulders, is a bridge to far.

SorrelForbes · 29/08/2014 00:01

Ummm, no manufacturers haven't changed their sizing they just use elastic these days which means that they is no need to add 4/5" to your under bust measurement.

Sizing by eye is the ideal but the two measurements we suggest just give a scattering point. Every person and even bra is different.

I usually find that if a bra is too tight in the band (but matches the under bust measurement) then a bigger cup or , very often, a different style is needed.

Some very slim people with no padding in their ribs sometimes need to to size up in the band. Those with squidgier torsos often need to size down.

Scooping is very important too and I re scoop during the day to make sure that everything is where it should be. Doing this often alleviates any sudden tightness that has occurred during the course of the day.

Bras absolutely shouldn't hurt. If they do then you haven't found the right size/style. Elephants - straps slipping off means that the band is too big for you resulting in the straps being placed too wide for your frame.

Littlemoocow · 29/08/2014 09:19

Just to add to sorrel's point in agreement, I had an intervention a few months back. I had always found bras really uncomfortable, the band riding up, straps falling off or digging in if I tightened them. I had bought extenders thinking that the bigger the band, the more comfortable, as I often felt that my 36b bras were like a tight elastic band round my ribs. Now am in 30e or 32dd ish, have found comfort for the first time, the straps stay where they are and the back doesn't ride up. Cups are full, even with my small boobs and they look much bigger.

HazleNutt · 29/08/2014 10:13

Absolutely if you can get to Rigby or Bravissimo for fitting you should do that. But in both, you are more likely to end up in a band that's about the same as your underbust measurement than in +4-5 inches band.

StatisticallyChallenged · 29/08/2014 10:25

Maybe it's just me, but I find bras a bit like jeans when it comes to finding one that fits. You might know roughly what size you are, but how many pairs of jeans do you try to find one which fits and flatters.

Bras are really diverse - a small tweak to the style or cut is often the issue - i.e. the gore cutting in, that probably means you need a different bra. Gaping at the top of the cups - are your breasts bottom heavy by any chance, maybe after having babies etc and are you trying a moulded t shirt style bra? they're always hard to fit - think of them as the skinny jeans of the bra world, very inflexible and seriously rubbish if they are a little but off in fit terms.

If your straps are falling off your shoulders than the band is, about 95% of the time, too big - this means the strap placement ends up being too far out.

NuggetofPurestGreen · 29/08/2014 11:18

OP I know you said Bravissimo is two hours away but really recommend it. I went to a different country in order to go!!! I had tried buying my own bras according to the bra intervention measurements and even though I was trying roughly the right sizes I couldn't get a good fit. Went to Bravissimo and they just went by eye and now I have 4 lovely well fitting bras. Yes they are tight and I get red marks sometimes but they are so much more comfortable than the old style I used to wear.

StatisticallyChallenged · 29/08/2014 11:20

We do always recommend Bravissimo - they're just too far away for so many people. Plus lots of people don't believe they are D+, so they need to at least try their rough intervention size to convince them that yes they could have DD/E/F/G/whatever size boobs and they won't be laughed out of Bravissimo!

Original poster
CripesItsTheGasMan · 29/08/2014 12:55

Right im back and thank you for all the input.

I've bought mainly tshirt bras and I bought a balcony one yesterday and it was a bit better but still not right.

Statically, yes the gape is at the top of the cups. I had a baby one year ago, only breast fed for 2 weeks. When I'm sat down it gapes a lot.

I felt I could hardly breathe with the 34 band. It was very painful. When I tried 34e , my boobs filled the cups but I couldn't cope with with the band. When DP saw the marks when I took it off he had a Shock face and said that bra is way to small.

My only options locally are m&s , debenhams , new look, and tesco. Will have to see about a trip to bravissimo but it's going to cost a lot to get there Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
CripesItsTheGasMan · 29/08/2014 13:09

That was statistically btw

OP posts:
HazleNutt · 29/08/2014 13:10

did you try FF as well? If the cups are too small, the band will feel tight even if it's the right size. If you put the 34 on back to front, is it still painfully tight?

StatisticallyChallenged · 29/08/2014 13:11

Which brand was that 34E? I would expect it to be too small in the cup anyway which will make the band feel small but tbh, M&S are shit, Tesco (and all supermarkets) are a bit unreliable, and the Debenhams gorgeous range runs notoriously small in the band and cup!

At 34, a good 34 will fit you. It just sounds like you haven't had access to a good one.

Style wise, I'd suggest something more balconette or half cup to avoid the gaping issue - it's really common. Something like the Cleo Juna which is quite smooth is very popular. Freya also make a half cup version of their deco bra ( the normal plunge will gape I suspect) which although moulded is lower in the cups. It's normally the upper outside of the cups that causes the problem if you have lost (or never had!) top fullness.

HazleNutt · 29/08/2014 13:13

I've lost top fullness so even Juna tends to gape - Fauve half cups are amazing though. Pricey, but you can get them for more reasonable price on ebay and brastop

Original poster
CripesItsTheGasMan · 29/08/2014 14:05

The 34e was from tesco, just a standard tshirt bra. They had hardly any choices D+ .

Thank you all, I've got somewhere to start now. I think I've always been used to tshirt , plunge and push up bras because I used to be flat chested . I was a 34a 5 years ago.

I haven't tried a Ff .. I just gave up thinking a 34 wasn't right . I will definitely try it now.

OP posts:
NuggetofPurestGreen · 29/08/2014 14:31

That's it cripes if you get the bigger cup size the band should better.

That's annoying about bravissimo, I was going on a trip to London anyway so I was able to go easily enough.