Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

Original poster

don't want to go on holiday . Need a kick

43 replies

JustLikeHeaven · 09/04/2014 13:09

I know I should be grateful but I would do anything to get out of going on holiday with husband and kids this day next week. We are going to Greece. I just feel so ashamed of my body. I don't want to go swimming or even put on a swim suit.

I am 5'6 and 11 very un toned stone. I am usually 10 stone but have been comforting eating since Christmas. . Before really good suppose.

Is there anything I can do apart from spray tan, nails. . .That will make me feel better about myself. I know it's not a huge amount of weight but it might as well be 3 stone for the effects its having on my self esteem. I am stuck in a self sabotaging self pitying cycle that I can't seem to break

Any suggestions, including cop on, greatly appreciated

OP posts:
Bluebell79 · 09/04/2014 13:39

I'm not keen on summer holidays either but after a day or 2 of being there I soon got over it and my kids loved me playing with them in the pool and on the beach, I never take them swimming at home. I bought a couple of strapless or halter neck swimsuits, carry weight on my tummy, I saw all shapes and sizes and ages, and they all looked great and were having fun, and wish I had took a bikini as everyone was wearing them. Perhaps take both and see how you feel when you are there. Before you go exfoliate loads and moisturise so your skin looks nice, splash out on a shellac manicure and pedicure, new beach bag, sparkly sandals/flip flops? New lipgloss, get your hair done? Clips or flowers for your hair? I love all the build up to getting ready.

Bluebell79 · 09/04/2014 13:42

Oh and I'm exactly the same size and height as you. I've never had a spray tan, but see lots of bad patchy fake tans that it's put me off. I do do a couple of sun beds before I go, I barely change colour but it stops my heat rash and takes away that white glow, on holiday I try to stay in the shade.

hettie · 09/04/2014 13:54

There are some Fab very flattering swimsuits in larger John Lewis stores at the moment....

Original poster
JustLikeHeaven · 09/04/2014 14:15

Thanks guys. I am in Ireland so no John Lewis

Also, I don't tan so even going on a sun bed wouldn't help. Though I have to say I am surprised people still use them. . . That's another thread

I have known for six weeks that we got this last minute deal and could have done something but I can't seem to get out of this rut.

I am really going to focus on my kids and play with them and have fun. . . I just die a little inside when I woman of similar age saunters past with a great figure and tan. I know I am the only one comparing myself but I do it all the time. And thinking about it, I assume my husband does too. He is a little over weight himself and tells me I am 'still' lovely. Poor man can never say the right thing

My stomach is the worst. . And cellulite on legs. I got butterflies there just thinking about getting my legs out

Have to get over it and more importantly do something about it. Just don't seem to be able to get started.

OP posts:
Original poster
JustLikeHeaven · 09/04/2014 14:17

And bluebell can I ask. . .As we are the same stats. . Pretty much anyway.
Are you happy in your own skin. Do you exercise? I have gotten so lazy lately

OP posts:
libertychick · 09/04/2014 14:44

You are the same height and weight as me. I would prefer to lose a stone too but it's hard going. I went on hols a few weeks ago and I wore a halter neck style bikini top from Bravissimo which really looked good and Mantaray board shorts that are very flattering. I used Dove daily tanner body cream for a few days before leaving which took the white pasty look off my skin, painted toe nails red, big sunnies and a nice hat!

Go and enjoy. You'll feel much better after a week in the sun with a bit of a tan and having had a rest and you'll probably come back with the energy to kickstart some exercise. Hope you have a great time.

libertychick · 09/04/2014 14:46

Sorry, I have just seen that you don't tan - I'm Irish too and know lots of people like this but always think their skin looks better after a week away anyway.

Snargaluff · 09/04/2014 14:52

I think you're being harsh on yourself because you are used to being lighter, but your weight is not big and no one would look at you and think you were not slim!
I was your height and weight on hol last year! I got a good bikini and did not feel large at all. I used dove daily tanner which made my skin nicer. I had my nails done and the sunshine, wine and nice food did wonders for my mood.

I am so jealous that you're off on holiday. Please try to focus on the positives about yourself.

Original poster
JustLikeHeaven · 09/04/2014 14:53

I wouldn't have the courage to wear a bikini. . Or bikini top and shorts. Though thinking about it a one piece is probably very old fashioned. . . Aging.

Thanks for reply.

OP posts:
Deedeecupcake · 09/04/2014 14:55

Since you're Irish Dunnes have some lovely swimsuits in at the moment with tummy control. They have a blue and white polka dot one which has a little skirt on it so it covers the tops of the legs as well :)

HandragsNGladbags · 09/04/2014 14:59

I would get a light spray tan, they do wonders for my self esteem and milk bottle-ness when away.

Also cover up dresses for the beach that you can just throw on, like this or a playsuit like this until you are feeling a bit braver.

I don't think one pieces are aging at all - just find a nice one!

zzzzz · 09/04/2014 15:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
JustLikeHeaven · 09/04/2014 15:12

Thanks everyone. Will hit the shops tomorrow.

OP posts:
StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 09/04/2014 16:04

take a nice floaty sarong, covers up without being too warm easy to slip round until you have to drop it for a swim and easy to slip round straight after, tone it with your cossie or go for an animal print and you will feel much better that getting the legs out.

ELR · 09/04/2014 16:10

When you see some of the sights on holiday you will wonder what you were worried about! There's always at least 10 people who will look a lot worse than you so try not to worry.

ELR · 09/04/2014 16:12

True what zzz said glam it up with sunglasses and bag and maybe so e wedge heels. Have a dab holiday.

Original poster
JustLikeHeaven · 09/04/2014 16:59

Thanks so much. I need to change my mind set

I have done some research. . Think I am an apple shape, think that is code for fat around the middle. Flip it. . . . A week with my family, I should be looking forward to it

OP posts:
MarcusAurelius · 09/04/2014 17:03

If you can cut carbs until you go your stomach will flatten up nicely. Just meat, fish and leafy vegetables.

UncrushedParsley · 09/04/2014 17:07

I'm quite a bit bigger than you :) Have just bought a swimsuit with a bit of a skirt...hides some of the nonsense. I got mine from Sainsbos, but you can get slightly better ones from Lands End, Debenhams, etc.

saintsalive · 09/04/2014 17:08
  1. Enjoy holiday
  2. Look at it as the holiday is going to help to to change some things about yourself when you get back.
3.When back, join one of the several threads on the weight loss board. They certainly do help with motivation and ideas. Whichever thread suits you the most.
Bluebell79 · 09/04/2014 18:00

Just like heaven, I'm an apple too. The problem I have with bikinis is getting the bottoms to fit, they always roll down. I would say in the last couple of years I've began to accept my body, I was always very skinny before kids, but had no confidence then, now after 3 children I can accept my body, the only excercise I do is dog walking, now I have a daughter I'm aware of not making a fuss about food and my body. I wasted the first 6 years of my eldests life not taking him swimming and I really regret that, he would always ask me to go. Enjoy your holiday.

Original poster
JustLikeHeaven · 09/04/2014 18:26

Thanks bluebell. . Hubby took them swimming last night and they wanted me to go. And I didn't because I am ashamed of my body. I have always had issues no matter how slim I was. Life is too short. . And they won't want me near them in another few years;)

I am very aware of pretending to love myself to my kids, especially my daughter. That's a sad statement. . But as she gets older she won't be so easily fooled. I would love to be happy in my own skin. . It's a good idea to take this time to relect and make some lifestyle changes

OP posts:
LadyEdithGreensly · 09/04/2014 19:24

Am vv Envy about your holiday!

A few years ago we went on holiday - no foreign beach to get my body out on- just a normal, run of the mill British summer holiday but I stressed out every single day because of my body issues. We were looking at the pics the other day and I swear, I could remember how fat I felt on every single outing that was pictured! And do you know what - I DIDNT EVEN LOOK THAT BAD!

I totally empathise with you op, but please, don't let it ruin the holiday like it did for me, I felt horribly guilty when I looked at my kids in the pictures who have changed so much in a few short years and realise that I spent most of the time worrying about my weight!

Enjoy! xx

Original poster
JustLikeHeaven · 09/04/2014 19:38

Thanks ladyE. That is something I have done all my life.. . its such a waste. I am really going to try to be mindful and enjoy the time with the kids and my husband

OP posts:
LightastheBreeze · 09/04/2014 19:38

I would probably get some nice long shorts, Next have some chino ones

www.next.co.uk/shop/gender-women-category-shorts/designfeature-chino#1_0

Also probably get a nice patterned tankini or swimsuit and enjoy your holiday