No clothes & no money - so fed up. What would you do?

[Jemster]

I am so fed up right now. Since my second child 18 months ago I cannot fit into any of my clothes. I have just taken a load to the charity shop as they were just taking up room and it was pointless keeping them. I am not massively bigger than I used to be but I am bigger round my hips and thighs and tummy, although my waist goes in nicely.

As a result I have literally hardly anything to wear. What I do have looks old and tatty. The problem is I have hardly any money to buy anything as we are struggling money wise as it is just with the cost of living, as I know so many people are at the moment.

I work every morning in an office and the ladies I work with are younger than me, no kids and have new clothes on every day! I have one pair of trousers but no well fitting tops so just wear horrible cardigans and a couple of dresses. I feel such a mess next to the other ladies and it is really knocking my self confidence.

I need a new winter coat as mine is out of shape from wearing when pregnant and my boots are ancient.

I could probably afford £50 a month and have £50 of Debenhams vouchers but I just don't know what to buy. I spent the whole of Sunday traipsing round town trying to find things but I haven't got a clue and it looks like I'm not going to get much for my money!! I don't have the time to spend all Sunday going round the shops only to come back with nothing and I felt guilty as weekends are our family time.

I used to have loads of nice clothes and always look smart for work. I know now my family comes first but I feel such a mess and hate getting up every morning thinking I literally have nothing to wear!

Please can anyone give me some advice or suggestions? At this rate it's going to take me years to build up my wardrobe.
Would be really grateful for any help thanks.

What size are you if you don't mind me asking? What kind of style do you like ?

I know how you feel as I have been a sahm for the last 3 years and money is so tight with bills creeping up and up.

I have a Next directory account and stick to a monthly budget for that for things I need. The workwear is nice, not the most exciting but you can get some good separates like skirts, dresses and knitwear.
I would keep the Debenhams vouchers until the next Blue Cross event and get some new boots then.
Sainsburys have 25% off on their Tu clothing range at the moment and there is some nice knitwear, jackets and winter coats.

Have a look on eBay? I buy a lot of clothes off there

I bought a lot of my work clothes from charity shops, as I didn't want to spend alot of money. Would you consider this? A new coat and boots will make everything else look better and are going to be essential to keep you warm so I would spend your money there.

Yes, what size are you?

Work wise, could you invest in 4/5 plain but well fitting t shirts/ tops (primary maybe?) plus another pair of trousers a couple of cardigans ten just rotate those at work... Boring perhaps but if the tops are colourful it's a bit more cheerful ad you can change the top every day so you have a new outfit without having to worry about what to wear or what goes with what.

Longer term the thing that's made the biggest difference to my life has been starting to wear dresses. I used to spend a fricking fortune on jeans/ tops/ cardis and constantly get I had nothing to wear. Over the last 12 months I've built up a capsule wardrobe of 10ish dresses I love, plus a coupe of cardigans/ knits, add boots and tights and I'm sorted with something I love every day without having to think about it. It was expensive at first as I wanted good quality stuff and was tired of paying out huge amounts on stuff I wore once or twice but I'm really happy with my clothes now and never get that wtf will I wear feeling.

Charity shops?

Im in a similar situation. On 50 a month you should be fine. I've got a lot less! Everything i buy is either from ebay charity shops or h&m sale which seems to be always ongoing online. Maybe you should have a look.

www.sainsburys-live-well-for-less.co.uk/tu-clothing/products/women/wrap-coat/
www.sainsburys-live-well-for-less.co.uk/tu-clothing/products/women/check-belted-dress/
www.sainsburys-live-well-for-less.co.uk/tu-clothing/products/women/navy-wrap-blouse/

What is your office like? Is the dress code smart or casual?

You could go to a posher store and get a stylist to tell you what you suit etc then just treat yourself to one item from your £50.
One good quality item for £50 will last and make you feel good, then top up with primark/eBay stuff that matches the style they've said suits you?

Onelittlelady I am a size 12 on top which is fine for shoulders & chest but everything is a bit tight around my tummy. If I went to a 14 it would look too big on shoulders.

Bottom half is 12 just, but it does depend on the shop. Strangely next I seem to fit a 10 but most places a 12 but often the waist is gaping as it goes in and then my hips are bulging as they are on the curvy side! It's just so hard getting anything to fit properly. I must be a very odd shape!

Ok, based on what you've said about gaping, I'd avoid trousers for now and stick to skirts with a smart top and dresses. Look for fit and flare shapes for dresses if you want to skim over tummy and hips. You'd be surprised at just how flattering a tube skirt can be and they look nice with casual tops as well as smarter tops for more formal/office wear. I have the same issue with the gaping round the waist so those are the styles I go for.

pencil skirt knitwear combo
skater dress
knitwear in various colours

Doobie. I found that as well. Lots of separates but never a complete outfit all clean at the same time or wouldn't seem to able to put it together.

With dresses you're just sorted. I just got myself some boots from ebay, dug out some woolly tights from a couple of years ago and am slowly collecting jumper dresses to get me through the winter. That way Im casual and comfortable enough for time with the children but smart enough for my job. I've got one off ebay, two from the hm sale and some old ones out of the loft. Am also getting some cords from the hm sale that will tuck in the boots and a couple of jumpers from there as well. Some of my old bits and the second hand bits look slightly tatty but what can you do!

www.offeroftheday.co.uk/

This is a great site. You can filter by shop, and by price high-low, plus use the search to narrow it down. It includes HoF, some Ebay stores, Debenhams etc.

I second getting a Next account.

Thank you for the replies. The £50 is what I have for this month as we had a bit extra this month but I don't think it will be that much every month.
My office is not really formal i.e suits but people are smartish and neat & tidy.
I agree a new coat would smarten things up alot but I can't decide whether to go for a smart work type coat or a more casual one for school run etc as I can't afford both!

I always look in charity shops but had any luck yet.

Another thing is I am trying desperately to only buy in my Autumn colours but this narrows my choices down even further and I am just so rubbish at putting colours together.
Most of my stuff is black or navy, both of which make me look awful!

Your local drycleaner should be able to take skirts / trousers in at the waist if you find a bargainacious item that gapes. Much easier and sometimes cheaper than trawling for something that fits you straight off the hanger (I speak from experience as a fellow pear). H&M have got some lovely dirt cheap T shirts at the mo, and some incredibly cheap coats (though I can't speak for their warmth) - I think you can get a discount voucher if you sign up for their emails as well.

I'd try a charity shop for a coat, because unless you fancy one of the H&M ones you won't get much for 50 quid.

Oh dear. It is hard. Nothing sucks the joy out of shopping than having a constantly changing preg/post preg figure.

Could you try e baying/car booting so,e of your old stuff to raise some funds.

Definitely charity shops you can get some lovely stuff.

Try not to buy anything too cheap new because it will be false economy and you won't be able to afford to replace it.

Uniqlo does lovely cheap basics. A couple of merino jumpers £20 each would be nice for work.

Also go to a few more expensive shops, try stuff on so you can work out what fits you then save searches for things you want on ebay. I am wearing a pair of Jbrand jeans today that were £12 after trying the £200 pair on in the shops.

I also love Tk Maxx, especially their clearance section.

I have a £50 a month budget, and do pretty well. But I really only buy from eBay and charity shops.

Work out your style and what you really need, e.g. Navy blue work trousers and the get a saved search on eBay. There's loads of stuff that sells for a couple of quid plus postage.

It can be really satisfying having a limited budget, as you have to think and plan a bit more, but there are some real gems out there.

m.hm.com/gb/product/14828?article=14828-A#shopOrigin=SA&mediaType=STILL_LIFE_FRONT

Dress for 15

How about knitwear in any of these colours with black bottoms
Chocolate brown
Charcoal grey
Jade green
Dark pink/fuschia
Purple

m.hm.com/gb/product/10836?article=10836-A#shopOrigin=SA&mediaType=STILL_LIFE_FRONT

m.hm.com/gb/product/14552?article=14552-B#shopOrigin=SA&mediaType=STILL_LIFE_FRONT

Trousers for 10 or 12 and available in different colours (not sure how smart your office is)

Tops and trousers are fine in black and blue so keep those , just find some bright tops in your colours to go with them. Have a look at great plains as they have some stuff in the sale.

Put everything that fits out and see how many outfits you can make. What makes an outfit look special is shoes. I got some lovely low cost ones in H&M the other week. They wont last a muddy walk but perfect for light use. I got a nice shawl there and they had some great patterned and coloured options which you could use to make your clothes look different each day. Two pairs of shoes and two scarves and that's 4 different combinations

H and m, primark and sainsburys, you'll be able to pick a few bits up a month.

I'd sit down and write a list of what you'd like/ need first.

Black skinnies, black/ grey blazer, some tops to go under, a few dresses...within a couple of months you could have enough bits to feel better about yourself...

Keep an eye open for jumble sales in "naice" areas as well. Our playschool have one and the stuff that's donated (Joules, Boden, Karen Millen etc) is crazy. They sell for 20p an item.

If you're buying new (and bearing in mind your shape), I'd also look at dresses. You can get away with fewer and can dress them up/down depending on whether they're for work/home/out.

If you haven't taken everything to the charity shop, how about inviting some friends around for a swishing event? Swap unwanted items- worked brilliantly for me.