No clothes & no money - so fed up. What would you do?

[Jemster]

I am so fed up right now. Since my second child 18 months ago I cannot fit into any of my clothes. I have just taken a load to the charity shop as they were just taking up room and it was pointless keeping them. I am not massively bigger than I used to be but I am bigger round my hips and thighs and tummy, although my waist goes in nicely.

As a result I have literally hardly anything to wear. What I do have looks old and tatty. The problem is I have hardly any money to buy anything as we are struggling money wise as it is just with the cost of living, as I know so many people are at the moment.

I work every morning in an office and the ladies I work with are younger than me, no kids and have new clothes on every day! I have one pair of trousers but no well fitting tops so just wear horrible cardigans and a couple of dresses. I feel such a mess next to the other ladies and it is really knocking my self confidence.

I need a new winter coat as mine is out of shape from wearing when pregnant and my boots are ancient.

I could probably afford £50 a month and have £50 of Debenhams vouchers but I just don't know what to buy. I spent the whole of Sunday traipsing round town trying to find things but I haven't got a clue and it looks like I'm not going to get much for my money!! I don't have the time to spend all Sunday going round the shops only to come back with nothing and I felt guilty as weekends are our family time.

I used to have loads of nice clothes and always look smart for work. I know now my family comes first but I feel such a mess and hate getting up every morning thinking I literally have nothing to wear!

Please can anyone give me some advice or suggestions? At this rate it's going to take me years to build up my wardrobe.
Would be really grateful for any help thanks.

Not an immediate solution, but when car boot sales start again next spring they may be worth checking out. I did one this summer, and was selling Monsoon/M&S/Gap clothes for no more than £2 each.

I agree eBay can be brilliant. I bought a lovely (second hand but hardly worn) pair of brown suede boots for work - £20!

If you read all those "French women dress better" type books, they peddle the idea that the way to be chic on a budget is to have fewer clothes, but carefully selected and of good quality, and not too distinctive then wear them to death. Good, classic colours for an Autumn would be chocolate, camel, taupe, olive, ochre and rich russet/red. They also have the advantage of looking quite "expensive" IYSWIM.

It takes a leap of faith to blow your budget on one or two good quality pieces, but I've found that this approach has worked for me. I'm a similar shape to you and work in a fairly relaxed office. The following 2 outfits come out time and again, sometimes for days in a row:

• grey stretch wool flippy skirt by Ralph Lauren (£4 from charity shop years ago) with grey scoop neck cashmere jumper from Pure Collection, and boots. They have this jumper on offer now for £75, which sounds like a stupid amount, but I've worn it literally for years, and can get it hand-washed, spun and dried on the radiator overnight, and it really has got softer with wearing. It's quite forgiving, too. If you're an Autumn, the same sort of thing in camel would probably be good and you can find them on Ebay, but make sure you ask about shrinkage and pilling. I've got a few scarves to ring the changes- I get these from Ebay or charity shops. There are loads of online tutorials to show you different ways to tie them.

• same idea, but this time with flared, knee-length black Gerard Darel wool skirt from Ebay . These come up fairly regularly - just make sure you get the measurements from the seller. I have also bought some good cashmere jumpers and cardigans from Ebay. Also Boden and Phase Eight wrap dresses can be found easily on Ebay and are good for work.

I'd agree that trousers are hard to get right when your shape is changing, so probably better to stick to skirts. If work clothes are dry-clean only, buy a home dry-cleaning kit from Lakeland- saves loads on cleaning bills.

Charity shops are the best places to look for coats (and other clothes, come to that). Mine (vintage Harrods camel and cashmere peacoat) was £20 from Help the Aged. Just never walk past a charity shop, particularly ones in smart areas.

Next and M&S have long sleeve jersey tops in lots of colours for £8.00.
They can be dressed up with scarves and necklaces.

George at Asda (good ethical rating too!). Tu at Sainsbury's.

Thank you all so much for the suggestions. I like the look of the next skater dress as I think that is right for my shape, but I do wonder if they look a bit too young for me, like a bit little girly? I am 38 and wonder if that style is more for someone in their 20's.

I do like the idea of skirts but I have no clue what to wear top wise. I think I need relatively fitted tops but when I waa at the shops the other day I couldn't find any. I don't suit shirts or blouses and a lot of the tops now seem quite boxy and square looking, too shapeless for me. What sort of top should I be looking for with skirts?

Not read the whole thread so I am sorry if it's been mentioned.

If you go onto amazon.co.uk, they have a 20% off code that they will send to you if you sign up to their clothing magazine. This applies to all clothes sold by amazon, and includes 20% off sale items.

I just bought some Fly London boots on there for £64, reduced from £115 after the sale discount and my 20%. Also free delivery and free returns. I know that those boots are not what you are looking for necessarily, but once you know what styles you are looking for, you can pick up some good bargains on amazon, branded styles, as well as shoes/boots to add to your wardrobe if you browse for some designers and sales.

Thanks Pavlov that sounds great I will def sign up.

oh and debenhams have sales on regularly, look out for their red herring clothes, they do nice and simple clothes to add to your work wardrobe and often in a sale. I have been in your position recently (still am!) and picked up two pairs of trousers in their sale for £9 each (one was red herring, chinos for £9 and the other was John Rocha black smart jeans for £9, reduced from £40). They do online sales which are good if you get them early and have the stuff posted to local store, but, ideally a browse in a debenhams store is where you will find the one-off bargains.

fozzley wow I want to go to the charity shops you go to! Those type of coats would never make it to the shop floor in my area

George at asda do nice little tops from 8 quid, when I was looking for a link for you I saw this one
direct.asda.com/george/womens-tops/embellished-collar-top/G004440011,default,pd.html

But there are plenty more on there worth considering

If you're wearing skirt, the tops need to be relatively fitted (but not tight), or you'll look shapeless. Jersey tops and fine jumpers are probably best. I bought this www.purecollection.com/.Cashmere-Blend-Long-Sleeve-Scoop_LW-645.htm last year and it's been perfect for work with skirts - not too tight, and very soft.

I am not a charity shop person myself and don't generally like supermarket clothes but you can get the odd nice thing if you know what you are looking for and don't buy for the sake of it. My favourite bright blue skinny jeans are from Asda and I tried on an almost identical pair for £60 more in Karen Millen and the Asda ones fitted best!!!

It's also a good idea to buy a whole outfit from one place, especially if you have seen it put together in the window/catalogue/online. I have done this for work clothes from Laura Ashley (good sales,) casual clothes from White Stuff, more expensive stuff from Boden (wait for the offers.) Next is good if you select carefully. Put on the top, skirt and cardigan/jacket and you always have an outfit.

Like a previous poster, I also think you should buy less but of better quality. I don't see the point in buying lots of plain tops for £8 for example. I've done that with M&S basics but never wear them because they just look too ordinary. Buy one really lovely thing instead, people compliment you and you feel good!

Clothes swap! I have a £0 budget and all my best clothes have come from swapping clothes with friends, including coats, skirts, dresses, summer sandals, even a lovely like-new fleece lined raincoat for my daughter.

TK Maxx is great for good quality knitwear. I got a gorgeous dark blue merino jumper for £19.99 in my local branch, and there were lots to choose from.

Pavlov, the secret is to find shops in unlikely areas. The ones in the South East don't have great cheap finds these days - they tend to mark up the good stuff, or sell it in specialist vintage shops.

I found my lovely coat in Help the Aged in Helmsley in Yorkshire - lovely gentrified town, but not exactly full of fashionistas pillaging the charity shops. DH thinks my charity shop habit is amusing (as, in truth, I'm now lucky enough not to have to buy in them), but old habits die hard and I feel fleeced knowing what the mark up is on clothes. Also, you can't get the same quality on the high street. My coat is hand stitched and the wool is really thick. DH says a rich old lady probably died in it.

I bought I Hobbs grey suit in a charity shop for £30. And a grey leather dress for £40 in our local dress agency - there are some bargains out there.

Also, although this is trite advice, get a set of decent, matching underwear that fits properly. There are loads of bra fitting threads on MN. It doesn't have to break the bank and it will a]make you feel good. A good make is After Eden for pretty bras that give a smooth line under tops and they're padded so make your norks look amazing and, now I know the size I need, I order mine from Ebay, as there's a good online shop selling them heavily discounted.

If you like Next and can pick out some suitable items from there then it may make sense to initially purchase a handful of items from their account card and pay off a small amount each month to get you started?

I also agree with what others have said about dresses. It just means you need to buy less and don't have to think about putting an outfit together.

Good luck!

I'd concur with the charity shop idea, I got a Hobbs skirt, per una top and necklace for £10 the other day. With the Debenhams vouchers I'd suggest booking a personal shopper, do it while the sale is in. Ive used it twice now at different stores, it's a free service, they weren't pushy and found me stuff in the sale to make the most of my budget. You should get at least one new outfit for £50. It's frustrating though as it does take more time and effort to root round in charity shops than just being able to go and buy things but does feel satisfying when you do!

I spent 12 years at home in jeans and T-shirts and all my pre-preg clothes were too big
I went to ebay, I found dresses the easiest because of fit. I searched all the ending soonest and now have about 15 dresses in various styles plain/patterns in grey/black/white I bought a long black cardi and a short black cute cashmere cardi, flat knee high boots, ankle boots and several pairs of thick black tights. I also bought a dark grey winter coat and a black biker jacket. I think I have probably spent under £250 over the last three months, it can be done!

Well....I just checked out the George at Asda website and have ordered a black tux jacket and two tulip shaped dresses!!!

The tux was £18 and the dresses £16 each!!!

Op...check it out!!!!! Happy days :)

If you need a coat, I ordered this very cheap one earlier George probably not best quality ever, but looks quite flattering to me

Locally we have a big swishing event annually. Tickets are something like £2 including a glass of wine, you're supposed to bring at least 3 things with you (but that can include accessories, scarves, anything). I've always got lots of stuff from it, and have got rid of things that don't fit or I feel physically sick to wear because I've had them for decades. Think about organising one.

www.zara.com/uk/en/woman/special-prices-c504503.html

There are some bargains here, including £40 duffle-style coat that is lovely.