The real beauty rules

[LadyMilfordHaven]

1. Any nail varnish applied standing at the door waiting for the taxi will look better and last longer than any manicure.

Comme ca

Your practice run for a pretty hairstyle will always look much better than on the actual event day

Your hair will look great on the morning when you're going to the hairdressers for a cut and blow

Putting on your heeled sandals and only painting the visible toenails can shave valuable minutes off your pre night out routine

Lol. I did that to toe nails until I removed the polish weeks later and going one toe nail fell off

If you throw a bit of food, coffee or ink on you before you leave then that's the disaster stain spilled for the day.

Slightly smudged eyeliner and mascara always looks better.

Life's great I love that.

Says the woman constantly covered in food thanks to 8 month old.

You'll look way better at someone else's wedding than you do at your own!

Slightly pisses is when you look best. ONE more drink makes you look shit. You'll spend all night drinking more to achieve that look ;)

You'll look glowing and fresh faced when doing the weekly shop or when staying at home, but on a night out or big event you'll look exhausted and need three layers of foundation to hide the fatigue. When applying lipstick in the car you'll look like Marilyn Monroe- but when you step outside and catch your reflection in a shop window you'll look like Ronald McDonald.

I like that colour. I only ever wear beige or grey or black or blue nail varnish, but colour looks so nice on hands other than mine.

Anything you buy will look better on your daughter, even if it is too big for her. :(

You will spend £££ on shit in bottles just to get the freshness-of-face that 10hrs sleep would give you for free. But you still won't go to bed early.

As soon as you find the perfect eye shadow/lipstick etc, it will immediately be discontinued.

Madmomma. SO RIGHT. Or if you gave up the booze

The perfect foundation will be awesome till you see your mum and she suggests you might look a bit sallow. #gutted

Paula - that is certainly true. Anybody remember Prescriptives foundations?

The jeans that fit you perfectly well on Sunday, when you were slobbing in the house, will be too tight on Friday, when you're going out.

You will only manage the perfect tousled updo when you're just getting into the bath in a rush.

Your hair looks best 5 mins before the hairdresser stops blowdrying it. And no matter how carefully you watch, you will never re-create it at home.

You buy the perfect outfit then your daughter says " hmm not sure" and you go right off it.

Remus- I remember Prescriptives foundations! They were amazing. I use Bobbi Brown now and its almost as good.

Go out all day looking amazing ....see no one, pop to the shop with a hangover and fleece and it's like a fucking reunion

Squeezing an innocuous little blackhead the day before an important event will result in an infection and a massive boil like lump on your face that oozes but doesn't pop and you are left with a cornflake like crust on top of the huge bump.

Whenever you nip out quickly with no make up/wild hair/scruffy clothing etc, you are guaranteed to bump into your ex/your mother in law/the woman your ex ran off with/the girl you hated at school who is now married to a multi millionaire.

I love these.

Not much to add really apart from you can be guaranteed to get something in your contact lenses when you're getting ready for a night out and be destined to have pink bloodshot eyes for the rest of the night. You'll have no bother with them if you've nothing planned. That's the law.

A posh mum from kids school will come in when dropping off the very night you've had your eyebrows tinted. You keep sunglasses on to hide it and she goes off thinking your H knocks you about.