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Style and beauty

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I am fat with no style, shall I just hide away forever?

31 replies

salemsparklys · 10/06/2013 13:24

I am a hour glass size 18-20 depending, dark brown hair shoulder length that's frizzy, I sometimes dye it blue black as it looks better, hazel eyes and currently sport a farmers tan, lots of freckles and a horrid, horrid dark area over my top lip that I am very aware off, plus puffy black bags under my eyes.
I hate the way I look/dress etc. I am either in joggers and hoodie at the yard mucking out/sorting horses or at home with the DC.
DH says he loves my curves and I should wear nicer things, but I feel too fat to wear skinny jeans/nice top/blazer, which seems to be the in yummy mummy look.
I am 38 this year, feel more like 68, please help me.

OP posts:
OneLittleLady · 10/06/2013 13:31

Pffft, I wear size 18 jeans and I wear skinnies. You are NOT too fat for them, you just need to find the right way to style them for you if you really can't bring yourself to wear them, bootcuts are making a big comeback at the minute so perhaps look at those.

AgathaF · 10/06/2013 13:43

What about some dresses for when you are away from the yard?

PessimisticMissPiggy · 10/06/2013 14:10

Get online looking at clothing companies to see how they put together their outfits. I get a lot of inspiration in this way and I'm a straight up and down 16-18.

hollyisalovelyname · 10/06/2013 14:24

Are you tall? If so size 16/18 is not so big.

WileyRoadRunner · 10/06/2013 14:33

I don't think size/weight on the whole makes a difference to how stylish/ yummy mummy you look - I am a size 8 5ft3 and I always hate the way I look.

Do you want to wear more stylish things everyday? Would they really fit in with your lifestyle? or would they just sit at the back of the wardrobe

WileyRoadRunner · 10/06/2013 14:34

Could you wear skinnies and your hoody (maybe some nicer ones for away from yard) and get a haircut/eyebrows look at make up etc?

Libertymae · 10/06/2013 14:39

In my experience, you are only as fat as you think you are. Size 4 girls complain about their tummies, thighs etc, so I wouldn't let your dress size hold you back at all. I think coloured skinnies are surprisingly forgiving, esp with a longer top.

Hour glass is a really attractive shape, so i think if you show off your curves, you'll get more compliments and feel more attractive. Also, freckles are lovely and always give a face character. We don't all aspire to that plastic/no-marks-on-me look!

You need to get some confidence back, and so I'd suggest making more effort to dress up even if you don't feel like there is any point. The days I stay in a tracksuit all day, I always feel miserable and like the day never really started. I don't know why dressing up a bit helps with your general mood, but it does seem to!

Choose your favourite area of your face or body, and then do something to highlight it every day. If you've got lovely feet, keep your toe nails painted your fave colour; I'd say fingers too but possibly not very practical given you're in a yard a lot. But just something little and frivolous to help you remember how attractive you are.

If you feel conscious of that area over your lip, go and see if you could have some laser treatment to help lighten it (might be expensive but worth it in long run?), or have a chat with a make-up lady at a dept store to see if you can hide it a little. Same with your eyes, treat the puffiness either with cold spoons or a more expensive cream and then try to lightened them a bit with make-up so you feel less self-conscious. I can guarantee you, no one thinks they are as noticeable as you do, we are all too hung up wondering if anyone has noticed our own spots, cellulite, whiskers from chins etc :)

salemsparklys · 10/06/2013 14:55

Thank you everyone.

I am 5'4/5'5 so not very tall sadly lol, I do have dresses but I feel uncomfortable wearing them so hardly ever do.
Been trying makeup I got for my lip that is supposed to fade it, but it hasn't so far.
I do feel better if I make an effort, but then I feel what's the point to either get covered in horse hair/mud etc or covered in toddler hand prints/dog hair/mud lol.

OP posts:
AgathaF · 10/06/2013 16:37

Well, you have to wash whatever you are wearing when it gets covered in horse hair/mud/toddler prints, so you might as well wash something that you like wearing as something that makes you feel unlovely.

Do you wear make-up? If you're not used to it, what about a tinted moisturiser to even up your skin tone a little? Maybe go into Boots and ask for a demo at a couple of their make-up counters?

Evans have got some nice tops in to go over skinny jeans or trousers. Maybe order a few and try at home - see what you feel comfortable in and what your DH likes the look of?

Also, what about booking a session with a personal shopper in a department store? As far as I know, there is no hard sell, but you could come away with lots of new ideas and enthusiasm.

Ashoething · 10/06/2013 16:40

FFS I am pissed off with women on here posting that they are too fat to dress well-its complete bollocks! Sorry if I sound harsh op but it really gets on my tits!

I am 5'6 and a size 16 so a bit of a fatty myself-I don't give a shit! I wear what I like. Personally I hate the skinny jeans,blazer,naice heels look. I am an hour glass too and it doesn't suit me at all.

I like a retro/vintage look so wear dresses everyday-either swing dresses or tea dresses. With tights,stockings or leggings. Court style shoes or ballet flats for every day.

Stop beating yourself up for not being a size 8-the vast majority of women our age are not either! Start pampering yourself and you will find you make more effort.

Longleggedlovely · 10/06/2013 16:41

If the yard is where you are most often how about having slightly smarter yard clothes rather than joggers and keep them just for the yard. I tend to muck out in my jodhs and boots but pair with a brighter hoody/jacket/polo shirt (weather dependent!) and as soon as I'm home i strip off, jump in the shower and get in to my everyday clothes. i feel wearing my jodhs that I have to hold my tummy in and walk a bit taller and the brighter colours in top make it all a bit cheery - and heck if I need it sometimes the bright pink wellies make an appearance!

I have quite separate clothes, yard clothes, work clothes, weekend/evening clothes etc so maybe it would be worth separating out what you've got and keep it just for that.

Also try and take some time out just for you, a hot bubble bath, body scrub, de-fuzz and a good moisturise make me feel as good as new!

OneLittleLady · 10/06/2013 16:43

I'm a good four inches shorter than you salem and roughly the same size. I too am an hourgalass type shape. Wrap dresses really work for showing off my waist, skinnies with a slightly longer then hip length top and short dresses with a defined waist line with leggings are my go to outfits. Belted shirtdresses also work as they skim over my hips but where they are belted shows off my slim waist.

As someone's already said, you have to wash your clothes anyway so why not wear something you feel good in? Doesn't have to take much effort or cost a lot but a few basics that you feel good in will help lift your mood

Yettish · 10/06/2013 16:46

Just wanted to say, OP, that an hourglass figure, a tan (yes, even a farmer's tan), hazel eyes and dark brown wavy hair sounds pretty damn HOT to me!

AgathaF · 10/06/2013 18:23

Exactly Yettish - so many women would love that sort of healthy looking tan, your gorgeous wavy hair and beautiful hazel eyes. You need to believe in yourself a bit more, your DH sounds like he has it right encouraging you to have more confidence in yourself and your appearance.

salemsparklys · 10/06/2013 19:26

Thank you for the kick up the arse needed, I shall make an effort daily until its not an effort but a way of life xx

OP posts:
hollyisalovelyname · 10/06/2013 19:54

Wiley you lucky thing - size 8.

hollyisalovelyname · 10/06/2013 19:58

You are lucky your dh thinks you are lovely. Mine sometimes calls me 'an old wan'. I told him yesterday to go and find a 'young wan'. He hasn't budged (moved). Grin

FauxFox · 10/06/2013 20:04

At the yard:
dark denim Jeggings
cute dress/top
or
knit with a tight vest top underneath
or
grey jumper
and
sexy wellies

Nice clothes can bung in the washing machine as easily as manky joggers - you don't have to wear a dress to look gorgeous Smile

ChocolateCremeEggBag · 10/06/2013 22:02

Is your brown above lip mark a melasma? As I would, make sure you have a good sunblock (Clarins do a 50+ one for the face which I like) and wear it every day, otherwise what ever yo do to fade the mark, it will just keep coming back. (I have a splodge on my forehead which glycolic peels reduced last year, which has just reappeared after one day in the sun with no SPF on -live and learn!)

I then second/third the getting of some bright/nice clothes to wear in the yard. Decent boots that you can wear in yard but also out into town if yo have to (Sherwood do a pair with a zip down the back so you can get a chunky calf in comfortably - look like dubarry's if you squint)
Then get some lint rollers (cheap from pound shop or Primark) and when you are going out use them to de fluff a little bit

Then get eyebrows waxed and eyelashes dyed regularly, get into routine of putting some make up on everyday - even if just a brush of powder. It will take a while to become a habit, but worth forcing yourself to get there.

goodjambadjar · 11/06/2013 09:40

I'm 5'6", size 16-18 with an hourglass figure and I'm a SAHM. I wear clothes that are comfortable, practical and pretty.
I am obsessed with jeans, and I buy nice ones, even though I'm going to be about the house or going to the park or playgroup. They're durable for floor crawling, but I pick ones that make my legs look nice and give my bum a nice shape, so shop around. It's a bit soul destroying as a 16 in one shop is a 20 in another, so I would say if you're not worried about the size you buy, Dorothy Perkins do nice jeans. If you want a nice fit and to feel REALLY good about yourself, get thee to Evans and look at their Pear jeans. You'll drop a dress size, they fit lovely and they're really durable, and also in a bootcut. However, they are a stretchy denim rather than actual jeans. They also normally have a deal on so you can get a couple of pairs a bit cheaper.

If you don't have a shop called Yours near you, check out their website. They tend to size generously and their clothes are really nice! they fit into my pretty but practical thing quite nicely.

And another poster said that dressing down will make you feel miserable and it is so true! I love the paint your toes idea, so do that!

I stick to my skincare routine as it makes me feel confident in my skin, but yours sounds lovely! Clinique do a dark spot remover that could help with your lip area? and Garnier do a really nice eye cream which reduces dark circles and puffiness. Bobby brown do a great corrector which I use instead of concealer for my under eye bags, I then gently pat in a lemon powder to even the skin tone and mattify the area.

I like to wear eyeliner and mascara as it is simple to apply but can make a world of difference. For hazel eyes, try a purple eyeliner and mascara, it will make your eyes look amazing.

Hope that helps, good luck and let us know how you get on!

SixPackWellies · 11/06/2013 10:01

I agree with others that your figure and looks sound quite luscious. I am a size 12-14, but apple shaped and I would KILL for an hour glass shape!

I think with your profile, you could really rock the Nigella Lawson look- skirts with nipped in waists, tops with a bit of cleavage and jackets.

OneLittleToddleTerror · 11/06/2013 10:21

For makeup, have you tried a BB cream? It's basically a tinted moisturiser that's really a moisturiser. I'm using the Garnier one and is loving it. It's quite cheap which is good if you are unsure about things. A BB cream and a little bit of cream blusher will give your face a lift without too much effort.

salemsparklys · 11/06/2013 12:49

You guys are awesome, thank you so much for all the ideas and links etc.
I have the problem that if it goes over my hips, its about 2 sizes too big at the waist which makes jeans a nightmare, my boobs are a 34HH so cleavage showing is fine if I can find the right clothes.
No idea if its a melisma, started after my first PG and 3 children later its pretty dark and hasn't faded at all.

OP posts:
goodjambadjar · 11/06/2013 14:19

Me too Sparkly, finding stuff to fit the waist is a horror when you've got big hips. Sad

Seriously, try the Evans ones, they are cut for exactly that shape, and because you go by waist size you could drop a size.

M&S also do a shape range but I've not tried them. M&Co seem to be cut well for boobilicious girls, their dresses are actually in proportion.

My happiest shopping moment was visiting a vintage shop for a 50's dress (hen do) and LOTS of stuff was tailored for hourglass! I was actually spoilt for choice.

I have my fiingers crossed for you. X

salemsparklys · 11/06/2013 14:26

Thank you, I shall go have a wander and try things on. 1950's clothes are fab, shame they aren't the kind of thing I can wear all day every day x

OP posts: