When. Or in what, do you look most AWFUL?

[Nehru]

Me. On the mirror. Spin. Hair pulled back. Tiny head. Huge body. Sweating.
It's dire.
Or in any wide leg trousers. (Think HMS pinafore )

Day before period

With hangover

Before colouring hair

No make up/last night's make up

Old specs

Old beige fleece kept for painting

Too large tartan pj bottoms

Granny slippers

No, I'm not answering the door, get daddy.

Chunky knitwear doubles, no, trebles me in size.

The pics after dc2 born.

When had dc1, while I don't ever look fab, I at leastlooked genuinely teary eyed andlaughing and havea proper 'new mum'look of delirious joy about me.

With dc2 I look like I'm from a hardcore juvenile detention centre or a bit insane. I look terrifying, like I'm coming after you while holding a baby and laughing manically.

A swimming costume. I caught sight of my reflection in the full length window which runs along the side of our local pool and froze in horror. I vowed there and then never to present myself in public like that again.

Id add "with a fringe"

a small forehead means I look like I should be sectioned

Oh god I forgot ankle strap shoes. Just look horrendous.

I can't do skinnies. I look awful in shorts. Red lipstick is a no no.

@GlitzPig

Sitting in the chair at the hairdressers-wet hair combed completely straight, squinting like a pastymole in bright lights without my glasses, makeup washed off by overzealous shampoo girl, being patronised/insulted by an orange person who wasn't even BORN when I took my A-levels. WHO I THEN TIP.

OMG are you me?

I took a photo of Addison from Grey's anatomy to my hairdresser
She doesn't watch Grey's.
Oh, says I, well, it's a bit like Ally McBeal - except it's angsty surgeons instead of angsty lawyers.
Her: "what's Ally McBeal?"
No common cultural references. At all.

Oh god, the hairdressers mirror when they have the tint on. Why do they have mirrors in the colourists bit?

Otherwise for me, in photos on holiday. I imagine I look lithe, lightly tanned with a quirky plait and floaty dress. The photos reveal that in fact I look a shiny red sweaty mess with frizzy greasy hair wearing a tent which does not disguise my batwing arms. Shudder. As for the bikini shots ......

Skinny jeans
Those shirts/tops that have a 'bib front' - I am a tad over 5 foot tall, and the bib bit comes down to my waist
Pink lipstick (I look like I've played with my mum's make up)
Red nail varnish (look like I've dipped my fingers in blood)
Shorts (I just look like a square shape)
Skater dresses (make me look about 3 dress sizes bigger than I am)
Shoes with an ankle strap (make me look a foot shorter than I am)

I could go on ...

@GlitzPig

Poor Olivia, hope you've found someone older more experienced now! Nothing like a visit to the hairdresser to make me feel a) £100 poorer b) ancient c) rough as

I know the feeling. Honestly. I am usually late so end up having to eat in front of the mirror

They should be paying me.

I am planning to wear something like <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=phuketmuaythaitrainingcamp.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/1994-Fleetwood-Yosemite-Tent-Trailer-Value.jpg&imgrefurl=phuketmuaythaitrainingcamp.com/sports/1994-fleetwood-yosemite-tent-trailer-value/&h=378&w=600&sz=21&tbnid=0UKmHwg6lAfqYM:&tbnh=76&tbnw=121&zoom=1&usg=__cjfyC-rmA1BOgCO6ECiOaSMvLfs=&docid=htz8Zg_v-kSOEM&sa=X&ei=cMubUdy6IOuL4gSxioH4Ag&ved=0CFMQ9QEwCg&dur=590" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this all summer

This thread is really making me laugh, but I could fill it with ten thousand examples of my own.

Basically, though, summer: I can't do summer. I have pasty white skin that never tans. Eventually it freckles, but not in a nice way, so I stay out of the sun or use factor 30, then always look exhumed. The sunshoine reflecting off my white body could blind passers-by. Always look a bit frazzled. Hair always a bit frizzy and a bit greasy with sunscreen product. Sandals look shit as have such white feet. Maxi dresses are appalling. Anything white gets grubby looking in ten minutes.

I see hordes of lovely women out wearing gorgeous maxi dresses, white skinny jeans and lovely tops, subtly highlighted hair cascading in the summer breeze, bronzed feet in sandals and I want to kill them all. Roll on winter when I can wear chunky jumpers, bulletproof tights and knee boots.

I find the headphones in ears and eyes tight shut approach works wonders when I'm having my (frizzy) hair cut, esp if you do it the moment they start asking where you're going on holiday