Frugal Follow-up

[FrugalFashionista]

We've hopelessly lost the old thread. How are you doing ladies?

I need to reawaken the thread as I need to get back on the wagon. I decided to temporarily suspend my shopping ban - it's summery here and I've started wearing summer clothes and I decided to make some purchases now so that I can wear them all season long (in low 20s it's still a bit too cool for my routine sleeveless dress/bare legs summer look). Most of my old summer clothes are in great shape but this is what I needed to update them -

1. white jeans (have lots of denim shirts and blue tops) - straight-leg, non see-through
2. colorful printed cigarette pants (my wardrobe is mostly solid colors - I want to wear prints but not near my face) - found a pair in my favorite colors from MSMG
3. sandals (bored of ballet flats and Havaianas) - black cage wedges, low-rent child-friendly version of the Altuzarra look
4. slingbacks (found a lovely two-tone white/taupe pair on sale)
5. a few bracelets to liven things up

I'm still looking for a couple of high-quality white or cream tops, scoop neck if possible. They seem to be the hardest item to find, but my refound Zara poly-viscose top is surprisingly versatile. Still thinking about a long and narrow snakeprint silk scarf in my best blues and also need to make a decision regarding nude/taupe courts (to go with my summer cocktail dresses).

Spring lasted for 3-4 weeks here and coincided with my 1-month shopping ban. By thinking a bit harder and digging a bit deeper I was able to find all spring outfits I ever needed without any spending! Summer will be around until the end of October so I hope that I will get quite a lot of wear out of my mix of old and new. But I think I'm almost done with wardrobe updates and might go back to tight-fist mode very soon

off to check out those blogs you mention frugal...

Glad to see this is still going, I haven't been on Mumsnet much recently. Life seems to have become quite busy with other things, but all the 'work' I've put into my wardrobe and have learnt on these threads has stood me in good stead.

I'm heading towards my third season of Project 333, which is surprising. It's gone so quickly and I still feel like I have lots of clothes. I've just turned all my hangers round, which I'll then reverse once I've worn it just to get a better sense of what I'm really wearing.

I'm continuing to get the benefit of having had my colours done. Definitely the most constructive £100 I've spent recently. It's so true about everything going with everything else, which makes it easier and quicker to get dressed and I'm also wearing things together that I wouldn't have tried before.

Thanks also to frugal for the recommendation of You Are What You Wear. It's been so useful and helped me to get more to the route of some of this stuff. Fretting about clothes is a bit of a first world problem, but it also ties into identity, lifestyle, aspirations etc. For me it's been really helpful about linking it to both the life I have now and more clearly defining the future I want. So much hidden meaning in a long-sleeved top!

QueenCadbury another vote for returning the top. Distract yourself by coming to book club with us on Monday evening in Hotwells.

Ooh lovely to hear from you all ladies - and welcome new frugalistas! Glad to hear that most of you are doing great

Another vote for returning QC

One big step forward for me is stopping comparing myself to others. This is something that has made me so much happier! Yes, I enjoyed a makeover, but I am who I am - there is no point in trying to change too much. Someone will be always prettier, more stylish, brighter than I am. I'll try to make the most of what I have but no point in trying to compete. It's a huge relief to say this - I am allowed to look frumpy, mumsy, dated, my age I'm a 40-y-o mother of two in a relatively dull professional position, not a Victoria's Secret Angel - thank God!

I've also spent time thinking through what 'luxury' and 'status' mean for me. At the moment, financial independence and the possibility of take a job that is intellectually rewarding and offers some possibilities for growth. I really don't care for 'stuff' all that much. Deep down I've always known that luxury does not come in a bag, bottle, jar or a shopping bag. The totem poles and trophies feel hollow and shallow: I have felt frumpy in Chanel and dowdy in Marant and unhappy in a luxurious villa or a chauffeured limo - it really is what's inside that counts. Again, it's an enormous relief to say that I won't pursue those things any more. Instead, I'll try to identify causes and goals that are aligned with my true values.

Sorry if this sounds pompous but I really think that everything is changing in my life right now. I got stuck trying to change, focusing on clothes, makeup, etc - but what I've needed all along is deeper changes: getting rid of false selves and finding my own voice and core values...

QoW I'm so glad there is so much going on (hope it's mostly good...) and happy that Pr333 has worked out so well for you - and yes, You Are What You Wear is great reading!

Violet how is everything?

Tea and Pixie welcome - this thread has been the best MN thread ever for me... Oh and I'm definitely someone who has a tendency to buy things in bulk, but trying to change. Keeping track of all of your purchases for a week or a month may be a great start!

Teta I always fall for 'I could fix that neckline/armhole etc' but rarely actually do Do tell if you fix yours and I promise to take out my sewing machine

Yoni, Bill, Mir and Bleeding I'm going to skip summer sales this year! RecShop seems to have resisted! Feel free to join us

my massive down fall is ebay :/

Not so bad, thanks, Frugal, if I take today out of the equation (a day that culminated in DC1 accidentally pulling a radiator off the wall - cue one room totally flooded and another partially so, several coats sprayed with water and a rug soaked - and a radiator to reaffix, of course).

Work has been keeping me very busy indeed so I've had no time for pottering around the shops after school/nursery drop-off - a weakness of mine. I have made a couple of online purchases but nothing off-piste, so to speak.

I do, though, find myself needing a new swimming costume as mine is at that almost but not quite see-through stage. I swim a lot so tankinis and bikinis don't cut it. Trouble is, it's really hard to find something long enough. LTS has one in stock in my size that might be suitable but it's black with a pink trim. Lands End has one in black. Fig leaves doesn't seem to have anything. Anyone got any genius ideas? I've never found anything on the high street that's long enough.

browneyedpixie I kicked my ebay habit when I realised most of the items I purchased were not perfect -- so although they were cheap they just added clutter t my closet. I re-ebayed most of them.

yes that happens a lot....

I think half my problem is I'm too into too many looks.

Just popping in to say high, and well done, am so pleased to see the thread still going. I have been lurking a little but have really weaned myself off the style blogs and have far fewer buying impulses as a result!I have bought no clothes for over a month which is a huge achievement for me Only two more self imposed months to go, by which time I think my habits will hopefully have changed for the better.
This thread has been a huge influence (thank you), and so much of what has been spoken about on here chimes with me - especially Frugals eloquent comments about stopping comparing yourself to others... and the realisation that happiness isn't from the transient buzz of new stuff. I honestly feel much freer as a result of not endlessly buying more stuff to store in our increasingly over stuffed house. Plus I have been exercising more (I had forgotten how good the Shred is), cooking and gardening more and my work has been affected in a positive way (I have blocked ebay, mumsnet etc during working hours, and my productivity has increased hugely - resulting in more me time to do interesting stuff away from the computer).

Now Violet I'm very sorry about your day/radiator sounds like you deffo need a new swimming costume for your water soaked house....I am 6' tall (and long in the torso) so completely sympathise with the nightmare of finding a decent cossy. Have you tried Seaspray costumes? They are sold by LTS and Figleaves but the biggest selection I can find are here. At least they are not all black! I have one, nice quality and fits better than any others I've tried.

How do I go about getting my colours read?

Pixie I had mine done a while ago by House Of Colour - absolutely worth every penny. There are loads of threads on S&B about it, if you want to research it a bit more before you decide to invest.

Great advice about sales - too true that most of it is in the sale for a reason.

That said I am holding out for a couple of things I need: a black knitted jacket without boob pockets and an orange dress. Well maybe I don't need that last one

Started using the budgeting app, thanks Frugal. I'm a bit of a fritterer (coffee here, book there, something for the DC etc etc). Started on Saturday and spent £100 in one day. Not Good.

Enjoying wearing summer clothes here. I hate being hot so the jeans are packed away and I just layer up my top half. Weather looking good this week which is a surprise as Glasto is looming (can see main stage from our house)

Violet what an awful thing, getting flooded - but I really admire how on top of it all you are! Hope you can get things sorted out and that you'll find a lovely swimming costume!

Shirley fantastic achievement - well done! Oh, and are you my lost twin sister by any chance?

The big recent positive changes for me are 1) spending less time online (=less temptations, less comparing, more time used pursuing more satisfying things) and 2) spending less time in or near my bed. I used to feel exhausted after a long workday and responsing to the incessant needs of DC: instead of doing something active, I just sprawled on the bed, either reading, browsing magazines or websurfing. Not great for my morale or for getting things done.

Now, instead of lying down, I sit in the roof garden (infinitely more relaxing, and the children like to play there) or potter about in the kitchen listening to classical music, cooking or baking (old hobbies revived) or go out and exercise. Or sit in my Egg armchair reading. When the summer is over, I'll need to move the armchair to the nicest spot in the house - the garden has become my safe haven and I need to have a similar spot of peace and calm in the winter too.

Keeping a journal is really helpful too. Over the years, I've became the receptacle for everyone's frustrations. DH tells me at lunch about what's wrong with his day and Italy, Nanny shows me broken toys and appliances and food that's rotting in the fridge and everything else that needs fixing; DC are tired and take it out on me in the morning and in the evening. I don't see my friends and relatives often enough to have a natural outlet - for too long, I've felt like the container of all negativity around me.

Neutralizing negative emotions is not easy, but three things seem to really help: 1) keeping a journal (writing things down puts them in perspective), 2) practising mindfulness, focusing on the present moment, and 3) acting out (using the negative energy for something constructive, like clearouts, decluttering, organizing, exercising).

Bill I find the clinking of coins of the Toshl app a very good thing - credit cards are silent and deadly and money becomes too abstract. I find this increases my mindfulness while shopping for everyday things. For the first time in years, I budgeted all monthly household and personal expenses and my contibutions to my savings accounts - it's interesting to see where the money really goes.

I've done quite a lot of reading, exploring and getting to know myself. Shopping was all about 'filling the void' for me and right now I'm exploring the void. I find this is a period of psychological/spiritual change and growth. I don't want to become even more self-absorbed - rather, I'm exploring both my dysfunctional traits and my strengths to understand where the areas of friction are. If anyone needs reading tips, please let me know!

Have a good day ladies! It's really encouraging to see that lots of us are going through similar things...

Pixie 'You are what you wear' (a book) and the style quiz at Chicfashionista are great ways of getting started if you feel you have too many looks. I'm a maximalist and I've understood that feeling confused about my personal style has been a source of some multiples buying. (Not just needing one pair of nude heels but 'classic', 'girly', 'casual', 'preppy', 'edgy', 'can stand all night long' and 'SAHM appropriate' nude shoes)

ha that sounds like me!
That link was good, puts me as trendy and explains everything like I am. I just need less things perhaps.

Thanks for the link, Shirley. There are a couple of costumes there that look really nice.

Hello all,

It's been ages since I checked in here...busy times. I've had a few lapses in the last wee while (I was trying to be on a total shopping ban), and have realised there is a huge comfort thing linked to shopping for me - I get stressed, I buy something to cheer myself up. I am worried I am failiing at something, well, if I dress more like this, I'll feel more like that and it will help me achieve whatever. On the plus side though, the items I have bought have become wardrobe staples straight away so I am definitely becoming more discerning and targeted when I shop.

I have also realised that I just must not try on things - - I almost always like them when I do, which of course makes me want to buy/keep them. I think it's because I generally suit clothes - without wanting to stealth (or even not so stealth!) boast, I'm tall and slim, pretty much the shape most brands design for so it's not often things I like just don't suit me.

My real failing is ordering hundreds of pounds worth of items online, promising myself I'll only keep one or two, but then liking them all and keeping several/all, so that's going to be my new challenge...to step away from the online shopping!!!

Hello all!
Haven't popped by for a while. June was a good month for me. I purchased a pair of ankle skimming olive trousers and that was it. Satisfyingly I have worn them over and over.
Upon reflection, I was busy with other stuff: Finishing my research project, making holiday plans and DC had various trips and activities. So no voids to fill and no time to be wasted.
July has been a disaster and I am going to have to be strong and return some sales items. I have ordered from Orla Kiely, Hobbs NW3 and French Connection. Classic nice items that are reduced but not sure I need them. Am I the only one who likes the thrill of getting a parcel?!

No, scarlet76, you are not, I do love a parcel. Also meant to say when I posted above that I sorted out my make up and was horrified and ashamed at the amount of duplicate, or almost duplicate, products I have , and just how much they must have cost me over the years. I really must not buy any more at all, no matter how many money off vouchers, 3 for 2s or free gifts No 7 throw at me....

im slowly sorting a staple wardrobe out, ive definitely got better at that...

I too am a comfort shopper though!

Hi ladies, great to hear your progress reports. I'm doing well - TBONTB journaling has really helped. There have been three new purchases, all small and from my list, but I think very little about clothes these days.

I'm focusing on my work, social life and small good things, including home improvements (I fixed a broken sliding door and am organizing and decluttering my second home). I'm very happy, life feels very good, I actually feel blessed. I've reconnected with many old friends. I've found a lot of intellectually stimulating activities and am gentler towards myself. I'm trying to balance acts of self-care and kindness.

I've also taken steps towards a more fulfilling spiritual life - baby steps, but that's definitely an area where I will need to grow. As my personal situation has become so much more satisfying, doing small good things to other people seems even more rewarding.

The Toshl app is fantastic. I now try to shop mindfully in all areas of my life and am almost halfway to recouping the savings depleted during maternity leaves and shopping binges. My next step is going to be devising/rethinking my investment strategies as I've started to think about retirement (still a good 20-30 years away I hope).

I really love Recovering Shopaholic's blog. Her posts deal with insights that are relevant to me and her comment box is full of like-minded people and support.

I'm reading a great book about the nonlinear relationship of happiness and money, 'Happy Money' - can really recommend!

I wish you all a lovely summer - you all have been such an inspiration!

Wow. I ordered To Buy or Not to Buy by April Lane Bensen after Frugal posted about it on this thread and it's excellent. If you feel like you have a problem with overshopping, I highly recommend this book. I have done a couple of the excercises and they're so enlightening. Best thing I've bought this year...

Wishing everyone a lovely summer. Summer is so short - enjoy the few sunny days, don't waste them on shopping!

thankyou for the book recommendations

Hello wise shoppers

I'm only an occasional visitor/poster to MN, but have followed this thread when I can, as I'm trying to change some habits myself.

Anyway, I thought some of you might be interested in reading Bridgette Raes' blog here.

You might read it and think, 'well, duh!' as some of it is pretty straightforward (obvious?) advice, but sometimes we all need a bit of back-to-basics, stating-the-bloody-obvious advice IMHO.

She also links to this 'My year without clothes shopping' blog/service. This appears to be a commercial service, but there are some free advice sections. Disclaimer : please don't take this as a recommendation for buying services from this lady, as I have no personal experience of her - I just thought it might be interesting reading for some. I like her '36 ways to cull your closet' logic.

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