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Style and beauty

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MN Vogue Vol 6

999 replies

BrandyAlexander · 05/03/2013 11:21

All are welcome to chat style and beauty on this thread!

OP posts:
libertychick · 17/03/2013 23:19

I look at my DD and love how totally uncomplicated her relationship is with her body at age 2. She just delights in herself. Sleep it's awful that at 4 your DD is saying things like that - I have a teenage sister and I remember being horrified when at age 4 she was talking about having a fat tummy. They pick it up at school as other children's parent's don't watch what they say. My closest friend has 2 DD's and we have an agreement never to comment on looks, weight etc when we are together - 'you look well' is as far as it goes.
Good for you Drywhite giving positive messages to your DD - there is a whole world giving them negative messages - they need a safe space at home where they hear good things.

BrandyAlexander · 17/03/2013 23:20

Thanks for all your answers. Most of your comments really resonate with me. I also don't hanker back to my youth (I had puppy fat and wasn't very confident in my looks), or my 20s (good times but I had bugger all style and pretty much wore everything on my now no no list Grin). During my 30s is where I really found my style, particularly in my late 30s, despite spending virtually all of it I pregnant or breast feeding. I also discovered fitness and healthy eating in my 30s. I was a size 12 at age 20, size 10 at age 30 and size 6/8 at 40. Vanity sizing plays a part in that but I am healthier and fitter than ever so I love where I am at now.

I also agree with the comments on dcs. I was dreadfully teased in my teens by family members for being fat and having crap clothes and wouldn't wish that on my dd. my neurosis only plays itself out in the fact that she is one very stylish 4 year old but I don't diet and I have had to have stern words with my nanny (who is permanently on a diet Hmm) that there are no bad/naughty foodsHmm so not talk like that in front of the dcs.

OP posts:
libertychick · 17/03/2013 23:26

Love the stylish 4 year old novice! My DD has just started paying attention to what she wears and it's hilarious. We spend several serious minutes each morning ATM choosing socks!

BrandyAlexander · 18/03/2013 07:14

Liberty, dd gets given so many clothes by family members and friends and I buy a lot too, that she has a pretty full wardrobe! Yesterday she was wearing a blue short summer Matalan dress as a top, over a Primark long tee with Gap bootcut jeans. She picked the tops and I picked the jeans. She also picked her matching socks, pants and accessories. She looked so beautiful and very stylishSmile.

Not to be outdone, 1 year old ds gets lots of clothes too. I tend to find I spend more money on his clothes because so many boys clothes just have some rubbish motif on the top. So eg I buy from Gant for him but never felt the need to with dd. I also buy more from M&S for him than her but buy a lot from John Lewis, Gap and Pumpkin Patch for both. Clothes consumes a lot if my spare time!GrinGrin

I hope everyone is feeling better. For first time since Tuesday night I had more than 3 hours sleep.

OP posts:
Decameron · 18/03/2013 07:45

Liberty, that was a terrible thing for your mother to say! I never saw my mother eat more than a few bites of a meal, she was very thin, but she was always concerned about us eating. I was a beanpole and was teased over it in school but still couldn't fit in her clothes when I was a teenager.

Re Me and Em - the code VIP is for £20 off and REDFD20 is for 20% off and free delivery. I got it from the Red magazine subscriber section but it says the promotion has expired, however I spoke to customer services (who are very helpful) and they said they will apply it if you call up. It's valid until 01/04, I think.

I am 41 (how did that happen?). I used to wear really short skirts, I mean micro minis, I probably wouldn't do that again although legs are still ok. Apart from that, I don't feel I need to change my style and have always been happy to spend whatever I can on myself (too much, probably!). The hair could do with improvement though, it's mostly in a messy ponytail. When DD2 is in school and I am working again, I'm going to have it done a couple of times a week. Just cannot do it myself.

Also love buying the DDs clothes but trying not to go as crazy. My mother spent a lot on my clothes as a child, I blame the parents! Wink

Decameron · 18/03/2013 07:47

P.S. Sorry, Shop, I didn't realise that you can't reply all. You will be bombarded with messages! Hope you are feeling better.

shopafrolic · 18/03/2013 09:14

Morning all - still feeling lousy. DS at nursery till lunchtime so I'm heading back to bed but just to say that I've sent a PM out about a London MN Voguettes meet up. If anyone might be interested, but hasn't had the message then PM me and I'll send you the details. Have good days all. x

santamarianovella · 18/03/2013 09:20

liberty your post reminded me of my mum! she always commented on what i should and shouldnt eat! and how its not worth indulging in fatty pastries . she would always remind me of our mediterranean genes and how unforgiving they are! she is in her early fifties and still looks and dresses very nicely.
i spent some time in various places in italy and most of the women i worked with/met were over 40 and extremely stylish,they never worry about their age, and they always got attention from very good looking men!

AmberNectarine · 18/03/2013 09:34

Shall I annoy everyone by asking what changes at 30?

shopafrolic · 18/03/2013 09:47

Grin Amber I loved my thirties - that's when my life got sorted - bought house, was good at my job and loved it, met DH, got married, had DS - you however, have all that cracked already so who knows what good stuff's coming your way......

Annianni · 18/03/2013 09:47

Liberty, your mum sounds as lovely as mine.
I grew up being told not to have children when I was young (she had me at 19) because they ruin your life.
And ruin your figure... thanks mum. I think I was about 9 or 10 when I realised she was talking about me.
Mum was always on a diet and she would buy clothes that were too small as an incentive to slim.
It wasn't good.

If anyone said I looked nice, she would criticize me.
She hated the fact that I was slimmer than her.

Even now, she's a bigger dress size than me, but she'll comment on my stomach or hair to make me feel bad.

I'll never be how she was (and still is) with my ds's. Luckily she lives in another country, and I've avoided her on her last couple of visits.
I think mumsnet has made me realise that I don't need to put up with her, and her issues.

Annianni · 18/03/2013 09:49

I was pregnant with ds1 at 30.
My 30's brought more grey hair :o

MarshaBrady · 18/03/2013 09:58

It's funny the stuff that gets passed down.

My mother is very keen on clothes and buys really nice stuff. She did tell each of the daughters our 'best asset'. Which had the opposite effect on us, ie made us think what's wrong with my hair etc. I don't recommend it! I also remember lots of talk about being thin with her sister, or rather feeling fat when they were thin, I was skinny as a child and had no idea why they were going on about it. Best avoided I think.

And today I became an Aunt to a baby girl so am very happy!

QueenCadbury · 18/03/2013 09:59

Bugger off amberGrin

I turn 40 later this year and certainly don't see things changing style wise but I can that for some it does act as a catalyst to make changes. I'm in a happy place in my life right now and my wardrobe reflects that. Being on the frugal thread too and reading some of the recommended reads I've been thinking a lot lately about style and shopping. I don't remember stressing so much about what to wear pre dc but once you have a totally different lifestyle you do have to rethink things and although I've remained pretty much the same size and weight since then my body shape has changed with each dc and things that looked good before don't necessarily fit in the same way. Looking back I can see I struggled with the weight loss after dc1 and bought stuff to cheer me up, after dc2 I had pnd and thought everyone else looked so impossibly glam and again bought stuff to cheer me up, then we moved cities which brings a whole new set of peers, the school gates and my husbands promtion where in social situations with his peers I felt I had to dress a certain way as his wife. Since giving up work and dc3 being past the leaving milk stains, snot and goodness knows what else on my clothes I finally have a style that suits me and my lifestyle. I've sold all my work stuff and now only have very few 'best'/going out clothes which do get worn regularly (I used to buy stuff which I saved for 'best' which of course never happened). So having finally got to where I am I'm certainly not changing everything in November! I'm just using it as a excuse to get some nice jewellery or a bag as presents Grin

Annianni · 18/03/2013 10:00

Does anyone know what usually happens at the end of The Outnet's clearance.
Because my returns are only being collected today.
Do they extend it?
Or do things just reappear on the site as and when?

shopafrolic · 18/03/2013 10:00

AAAAwww congrats Marsha

Annianni · 18/03/2013 10:03

Congratulations Marsha, is it making you broody?

MarshaBrady · 18/03/2013 10:03

On things changing (next year), I won't change much except the length of skirts and shorts not so short. But then I didn't feel that comfortable in micro length when younger anyway. I don't mean it has to be knee length but half way.

Everything else I think I feel comfortable with, nice fabric, brands that I don't feel are too out there or young. Style-wise it won't change that much. I used to be all over the shop in early twenties but seem to have found the style I like in my 30s.

Annianni · 18/03/2013 10:04

Hope you feel better soon Shop

MarshaBrady · 18/03/2013 10:04

Aww thanks. And the answer is yes. Oh help.

I just got the first photo and a sense of yearning. Oh dear.

AmberNectarine · 18/03/2013 10:04

My mum is a size 8, she had put on weight, used to be a 4. I, conversely, used to be a 16. That was fun!

QueenCadbury · 18/03/2013 10:06

Oops, just realised I've written an essay Blush

With regards to dc I have a 7yo dd and thank goodness she doesn't seem to have any body issues at all yet. That could all change in September when she starts juniors though. I never diet as such, I just make healthy changes and look at my portion control and exercise more if I need to lose weight so hopefully that's always given her a positive image. My big downfall is stepping on the scales far too regularly but I try to make sure that the kids don't see me do that! As regards to style I don't think she has any. She's unfortunately one of those people that has no sense of colour coordination (the brighter the better as far as she's concerned) and even in nice clothes still looks like a bag of rags [ grin]. Obviously I tell her she looks gorgeous though. Ds who's 5 I doubt has ever had any body issues and unless skylanders, batman or anakin develop any I can't see him doing so. The other dd is 21 months and relishes running around completely starkers (leaving puddles of wee).

AmberNectarine · 18/03/2013 10:07

Yep done the kids, marriage, house bit, though we're aiming for a bigger house in the next few years. Have plenty of white hairs already. Job wise I'm not where I want to be, but will focus on that when kids get to school age. My 30s will definitely be the decade where I acquire some Chanel...

AmberNectarine · 18/03/2013 10:09

My children lick their own reflections in the mirror every morning, so I think they've got pretty high self-esteem at the moment.

shopafrolic · 18/03/2013 10:30

I do that too Amber

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