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Original poster

Is it best to "surprise" DH and come home with short hair?

87 replies

Watfordsue · 04/02/2013 14:07

Hi Girls, I am in a dilema about what to do about cutting my hair. Like most men DH likes it long but I am so desperate to cut it I am scared he will talk me out of it. I am very petite and I always had Pixie cuts till I was about 19 and then grew it as boys liked long hair. Since having DS1 six years ago I started wearing it simply all scraped back in a band permanently off my face, This was great and easy especially when DS2 and DD1 came along! When we manage to get out together I try to make the effort with the heated rollers and wear it loose and curly, DH thinks its sexy. When DD was two last year I felt I needed a job as after spending years with babies I was short of adult conversation and when DH came home it was always baby talk. I managed to get a perfect Part Time job in a local cafe, I absolutely LOVE it, I have gained confidence, got my slim figure back, I feel I am contributing to the family and most importantly I feel so much better about myself. The only problem with working in a cafe is the smell........I come home and stink of food all over me. I tend to shower every morning and again quickly when I get home but the problem is that I just don't have the time to wash my hair daily after work and it stinks of fried food all the time. Even though its scraped back I can smell it round my face and my bedding and pillows stink also. I feel going back to a simple Pixie cut would be perfect, 30 seconds blowing and I will feel great, the problem is DH, if I mention that I would like to cut my hair short, he will probably say how much he likes me long and I will feel guilty cutting it, the other option is to just have it done after work, he then comes home to a sassy new wife and I just surprise him. My friends are undecided on what is best to do, they also have husbands who like long hair! My Mum who went through the same thing with my Dad said it was 10 years before she finally cut hers, I can't put up with this that long. Mum came out with a good line and said, " You are nearly 30, a big mortgage and 3 kids, what can he do!!"

I would appreciate advice on what to do.......

I have posted this on two boards as I am unsure which is best.

Thanks

OP posts:
Eliza22 · 07/02/2013 19:24

Christ! I've been watching this thread for years or maybe, it just feels that way

Did you get it cut? Please, put us out of our misery and DO SOMETHING!

seeker · 07/02/2013 19:46

"OP, just get it cut. If your DH doesn't like it, it'll grow back"

No. If dh doesn't like it, he'll get over it.

AnyFucker · 07/02/2013 19:52

Hi Girls set the tone for this OP

it didn't improve (or make me feel it was even real) after that

Rainbowinthesky · 07/02/2013 19:57

I can't believe you are even considering this! You already know your dh likes your hair short - why oh why start a thread debating to go against him? Your poor, poor dh Sad
Would counselling help? For you, of course.

Rainbowinthesky · 07/02/2013 20:02

Did I kill the thread? Oops. Was tongue in cheek...

AnyFucker · 07/02/2013 20:09

Fancy waiting only 5 mins before you decide you killed the thread !

Needy attention-seeking, or what ? Wink Grin

Rainbowinthesky · 07/02/2013 20:13

anyfucker - it's a busy night. I expected plenty of responses to my post Wink

AnyFucker · 07/02/2013 20:15

heh

Beaverfeaver · 07/02/2013 21:04

I got mine cut short about 7 years ago
And DH still goes on at me to grow it long. Its now just pass shoulders

CheeseStrawWars · 07/02/2013 21:11

"I always had Pixie cuts till I was about 19 and then grew it as boys liked long hair"

DieWilde13 · 07/02/2013 21:21

It is your hair and you wear it the way you want it. Dh is allowed to voice his opinion but will live with whatever you choose to do!

For crying out loud, how old are you? Confused

MustafaCake · 07/02/2013 21:34

This is a wind-up isn't it?

In 2013, do women really chose their hairstyles to please their husbands?

GettingGoing · 07/02/2013 21:40

It depends on your relationship and how visual it is. Would you still feel the same if he grew a long beard, or shaved his hair/dyed his hair blue?

AnyFucker · 07/02/2013 21:57

what are "visual" relationships, exactly ? Confused

MissBeehivingUnderTheMistletoe · 07/02/2013 22:05

That would be not a proper grown up relationship AF

AnyFucker · 07/02/2013 22:06

oohhhh

< light dawns >

MissBeehivingUnderTheMistletoe · 07/02/2013 22:09
Grin
Original poster
Watfordsue · 08/02/2013 01:29

Hi everyone, thanks for all your comments and advice. I think I came over a bit soft, I certainly don't do as he says, in fact he has never told me to do anything, however I agree it is my appearance and as such I will decide. The reason I was a bit hesitant is because we do both like to please each other in many aspects of our relationship. Anyhow, I have sorted out the issue, I have decided to have a beauty spa day package together with my cousin, for facials, nails, brows etc.... including a new hairstyle. I have told DH that I will be coming home looking like a new wife, he was pleased and said have a great day! Some of you may think I am mad but I feel better at least warning him. So, we will book it for next Saturday and see how it goes.
Thanks for all your advice.

OP posts:
KristinaM · 08/02/2013 07:14

Hope you have a lovely day sue. and do post photos of your new hair style, if you are feeling brave :-)

ithaka · 08/02/2013 07:22

Coming late to this, but I had my hair cut short recently. My DH & I have been together for over 20 years and he has only ever known me with long hair.

I did tell him I planned to get it cut and his reaction was 'go for it'. I love my short hair and it is definitely more stylish. However, DH did admit, when pushed, he preferred it long....I have thought about it but I have decided to stay short for the time being. It looks better and DH is getting used to it - he isn't someone who really likes change.

For all the concerned 1950s types, it hasn't affected our sex life. Some men are still capable of doing the deed when their wife ha short hair (unbelievable, I know).

Eliza22 · 08/02/2013 09:00

I have short hair (pics on profile). DH loves it. What he hates is any procrastination or whining on my part. He just doesn't understand the women's "shall I grow it....stay short?" thing. That's because he has a short back and sides and makes daily decisions about very important stuff..... A haircut just doesn't signify "major" to him.

Have a great day OP and upload a pic of the new you, if you will Smile

KristinaM · 08/02/2013 10:30

Indeed Ithaka. If men only had sex with women who looked like Barbie, the human race would have died out long ago.

KristinaM · 08/02/2013 10:34

TBH with 3 small kids, a big mortgage and a job I love, getting enough sex would be WAY down my list of priorities. ( Unlike getting enough time alone/ to pee without company /shopping/out with friends /chocolate ice cream /wine.) But each to their own Wink

LittleChimneyDroppings · 08/02/2013 10:40

men are pretty visual, and if they don't have an appetite, they don't eat IYKWIM!

jeez, if my dh was that shallow he could starve then. Hmm

Enjoy your spa day op.

Trills · 08/02/2013 11:41

He won't "come home to a sassy new wife"

He will come home to the same wife, with the same level of sassiness, as he always had, but with a different haircut.

Enjoy your spa day and your haircut - make sure that you get the cut that you want. I would normally recommend going to see the hairdresser and talk before you agree to let them cut your hair in a drastic way, but if you are clear enough about what you want ("pixie cut" is too vague on its own) I'm sure it'll be great.