Crepeys do Christmas...

[oldqueenie]

Will this fit the bill. Dull but seasonal?

OMG Strops, I would literally die if there was a rat AND a magpie attacking me - Not only do I hate small furry creatures, birds are a total phobiahorror!

I wrapped the prezzies last Saturday when everyone was out... so I wouldn't have to do it today

Our dog has happily wandered around in reindeer antlers, but bulked at the red nose...
We have a long dog walk and pub lunch planned. Then carols by candle light tonight....enough exercise Stropps?

Yes, BTM, I found that this was the problem with keeping slightly unconventional pets free range. An assortment of friends and relatives were found to have phobias.

BD, oh yes, gold star.

Am just waiting for dd to finish prettifying herself for our expedition. Just in time to get soaked, methinks. The dog will be pleased to go up the muddy hill at the bottom of our road , though.

Kitchen is kind of finished. Worktops need re-installing, tiling done, shelves erecting. And the rendering finished off outside, as it's currently letting rain in. We also need to get a dresser type unit for plates and glasses. I've got my eye on this, to go with our Ercol chairs and table, but DP is goggling his eyes at the price. I fear it won't be in the sale.

Also vexed by my drawers. Matron. Ikea sells drawers that are only 37cm deep, but not the corresponding inserts. So my pleasing cutlery storage ideas are as yet not happening.

Yay for the (almost) finished kitchen! I can't believe the inserts problem - I though Ikea had a storage solution for everything. That dresser is fabulous, and really not a horrendous price for a solid oak item. You'll have it for years, and look at it every day, so I'd say it's worth it.

Strops - my fave rat (Harry) liked pretty much anyone, even my grandfather who, having been a farmer for his entire working life, declared whenever he saw a rat he had to fight the instinct to grab a shovel and whack it over the head. Harry would lie on his back for a tummy tickle, and if you dared to stop he would nose/lick your hand exactly a a dog would do. And he would go mental whenever I opened the fridge, jumping about and chattering his teeth, because he knew that food was in the offing. Aah, he was lovely.

I'm not sure he'd be 100% comfortable being asked to wear antlers, though. Ruby - has your dog got that long-suffering "oh, not again!" expression on his face, or is he carrying off the festive look with confidence and aplomb?

I'm impressed by all of you managing to get your DCs out walking. Mine would sooner stick pins in their eyes. Mind you, I was the same at their age.

I have a Christmas dilemma, hags. My knee is very hurty again - do I zap with painkillers cocktail that I can't drink with or drink and ignore the hurty knee for a few days?

I am also exhausted, having been up at God knows what time to go to the market. We are about to have a very late lunch of oysters, pate, rillettes and Nice Cheese. Oh and Nice Ham and bread.

The cats have managed to pull the Christmas tree over already, with a few casualties and Big Pussy Boy ate rather a lot of tinsel which resulted in a large pile of festively glittery vomit.

@ "I love hoovers, they're good aren't they?" How long is that going to last??

I was as good as my word and marched them all up hill and down dale and we had a festive family keep fit sesh on our return. The dog thought it all most hilarious. Dh not so much. Dc's enthusiasm levels somewhere in the middle.

CV, awww, I remember the excited teeth chattering :) My mother also had to fight the urge to hit my rats with a shovel, but she did look after them once when I was on holiday. She fed them salmon (!) and let them stay up late to watch TV .

Herbs, sounds like your kitchen really will be lovely soon

Dog walked - very muddy but great! Now I am watching The Big Bang Theory with a background sound of Sellotape being wielded (dp wrapping up)....
Need to pack and collect together stuff.
Herbs - kitchen will be great!!

Back from the ice-skating - managed to avoid falling over, unlike my friend who got wiped out by a 5yo and his penguin Now have to juggle Tescos delivery and last minute meet-up in pub with friends...

Herbs the dresser looks very on-trend and not at all dresser-like

Am very inpressed with your walk and keep-fit sesh Strops - there is no way we would get ours marching up a hill (unless there was a cafe at the top!)

We have been to see my parents. I am in even more of a state than I usually am when I?ve seen my parents. They kept talking about going ABROAD and various literary fucking festivals my mum is speaking at and have I been to Jaipur and when did I last go to India and have I ever been to the US and I feel like why don?t they just fucking say ?you really are a fat failure, aren?t you?. No, I am not going any bloody where EVER. I am stuck penniless in south east fucking London even though my partner earns absolutely squillions, because our house eats money, and I am bashing away at my dead end bloody job on a client magazine because (a) we are in the biggest recession the world has ever known (b) I am, also, a talentless bloody failure whose book no bloody agent will ever touch, let alone publishers. Do go to Jaipur and Chennai and Crete, won?t you. Don?t mind me. I?ll just plod porkily on my way?.

Oh ruby you okay?
mI big unmumsnet hug....you are not a failure, far from it. But sometimes we end up somewhere other than we expect or intend either by circumstances or accident. Don't let your mother put you down.
I have spent so much of the year on the move that I have lost all sense of direction and purpose. I need to get it back.

Ruby, it's been a strange year for us too. I feel both somewhat flat and a bit peculiar. Not in tune with Christmas At All.

MI, a squeeze from me. You aren't even close to being a failure. Not even a bit. Ignore the vibes from your ma. Easier said than done, I know. And whaddya mean "fat"?? Eh??

Now if you would like to see an example of real failure, look this way . Rat keeper, fruit loop and sad loser extraordinaire.

I hereby celebrate my loserishness and my power to survive in spite of it.

Hey fruit loop, you ain't so bad either :)

Aww, c'mon people, you are all wonderful and lovely, and have no business feeling down and depressed, especially at Christmas.

MI, I'm coping better with my mother's constant devaluing of me since a therapist pointed out the envy and disappointment behind it. Helps me to contain myself when she tries to do the same to dd as well.

I stifled my misgivings and came oop north for Christmas with my sisters and families, only to be enraged the moment my BIL opened the door. I am too tired and frazzled for this, all I want is home. But dd is desperate to see her big cousins.

DSis has turned into panto character since her PFB announced he'll spend his first Christmas since leaving home in a cottage with his girlfriend. I had invited them all for New Year but doubt if DSis and said girlfriend can be under same roof (ever?)

Meanwhile they behave as though my dog is some ravening destructive beast while doing everything possible to wind her up and over-excite her. So yesterday, after a sleepless night and a five hour drive, I spent hours walking the streets with her and phoning round kennels looking for an emergency space (no luck)

Now weeping into a disgusting coffee at the Holiday Inn. Repeat a hundred times: At least we're not flooded, At least we're not flooded, At least...

Morning all. Raining here. Have loaded car for drive down. Dp wanted to avoid motorway however having encountered a flooded road he's thought twice on that one. Ruby, MI and Stropps hope the world is looking better this morning.

Oh alto that sounds absolutely rubbish. I'd be heading home.

Oh fellow crepeys, feel for you all. Alto, how crap for you
As BD says, hope you get to feel a bit happier today.

Have just collected turkey and gubbins, but as the cheese shop and bakery weren't open yet, will have to trek out again...

Alto, that sounds absolute PANTS.

DD1 and I are sharing the love that is the tummy upset today . DP is feeling distinctly off-colour but has ventured out with DD2 (in health so rude it should be given its own ASBO) to get 'last minute things' from Sainsbury's. As we're eating with friends tomorrow, and then going to see my sister (who IS very nice) on the 27th, I fail to see what these 'last minute things' are, but as he's cooking today it's up to him

The really maddening thing about my mum (bear with me, my friends ) is that everyone tells me how proud she is of me, and she is actually very nice to me these days in many ways. Which rather undercuts the bloody decades in which I was told I was too fat and clumsy and the very clear message that I'd never be anything like my beautiful underweight slender mother (this wasn't unique to me: my sister just went the whole hog and became anorexic). I realise she had a very, very crap childhood. I realise my father's aspie qualities produce drawbacks in some of his parenting (this isn't about Asperger's in general, please note, but is peculiar to my father). But when people tell me how proud she is and how much she loves me I think, well, it's not fabulous to say things like "oh darling, I don't want to boast but it was nice when I'd walk into a room and it would fall silent" or "oh darling, I've sent photos back to India - don't worry, the ones of you are just from the neck upwards". Er, am I the bonkers one here ?

I am hiding in the bedroom. DH's family are all so loud. I will creep out to the shops later to get more wine and beer as DFIL and his mate drank most of the supplies for Christmas last night... Am exhausted and tired of cooking already. DH becomes a PITA around his DF and DF's mate - very "women in the kitchen know thy place" and we had Words last night, when I said to him "Can you get your parents' bed ready?" and he said "I'm having a drink, why can't you do it?" Because I've spent all evening cooking and clearing up the kitchen while you sat on your arse drinking, so pull your finger out and do some work - it's your family after all. DF's mate is of the opinion that women should only have "little jobs" and there was a nasty, shocked pause last night when - and I am not sure how this came out as I wasn't listening to the conversation - DH admitted that I earned significantly more than him. DSIL and I laughed.

Could you actually kill them? It would be kinder, really. Think of the big picture.