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The Worst perfume ever!

999 replies

anniewoo · 28/09/2012 19:54

Was in HOF today and as i have no money at the moment to spend (despite their sale) decided to cheer myself up with a spray ( or two) of their posh perfumes. Big Mistake- sprayed Serge lutyens Tuberose Criminale- and it was!!!! Well the smell was criminal- like camphor, moth balls mixed with wintergreen , that awful muscle rub stuff. Jesus wept and it lasts and lasts and lasts. Can't kill it off, despite Annick Goutal Ninfeo Mio on my other wrist. You have been warned.....Though i do dare you!!!

OP posts:
YouOldSlag · 30/09/2012 11:27

I agree that Amarige is one of the few 80s "shouters" that has stood the test of time.

It's fascinating how scent fashions change with the time, from the "Look at Me" 80s to the "caring sharing" 90s (ALL my friends wore Issey Miyake).

Interesting too, Dona Ana, how you relate that fecal and human smells are used. I always loved Gucci Envy because it was so floral but with a "dirty" note in it somewhere that was very sexy and kind of wrong.

coffeeinbed · 30/09/2012 11:58

That's why some people think Boudoir smells of sex - it has viburnum which has the that high pee note.
Another funny one is cumin - it's close to sweat - Serge Lutens uses it in about 70% percent of his perfumes. It gives a dirty depth.

DonaAna · 30/09/2012 12:40

Madonna's Truth or Dare is a take on tuberose (itself a love/hate ingredient) and gardenia (always synthetic in everything). Tuberose a very expensive natural, so I doubt they used the real stuff here.

I have smelled tuberose absolute and have a perfume that uses it, it's a rich and heavy natural - a bit like a huge (but low cut) evening gown. Not for everyone, and perhaps too glamorous for me, too...

Yes, most French perfumes (especially Guerlains) include notes that are earthy or 'wrong'. Americans are different - they are very afraid of smelling unclean - from them (and from their focus groups) we get squeaky-clean juices. Tom Ford is American but his main function at Gucci and YSL was to make a slightly frumpy and run-down label seem sexy and current and covetable - I guess he managed to do that Wink

Real vanilla from the orchid pods smells dirty and almost boozy. Modern consumers are so used to synthetic vanilline that they often don't recognize real vanilla and in many focus groups they prefer the much cheaper synthetic alternative.

A thing to undestand about perfumery is that although almost everyone always talks of flowers, even the highest-end perfumes are usually about 90% synthetic. All fruit smells are always synthetic (and usually the same you find in candy and yogurt). Expensive naturals are used to give perfume depth and richness, but more and more mass market perfumes use the cheapest possible ingredients.

I have a few perfumer friends - they say that to a certain extent, the better the raw materials, the better the scent. However, most perfumes today are created on an Excel sheet that tracks the cost of the ingredient (tuberose absolute for example is very expensive, as are real jasmine or rose)! so more expensive naturals have to be replaced with their synthetic alternatives. If you pay 100 GBP for a perfume bottle, most mass market bottles assume the cost of the ingredients inside can be a maximum of 3 GBP. Scale this down and you will understand why many mass market perfumes smell cheap - they smell cheap because they are made of really cheap stuff (I doubt that Madonna's Truth or Dare has real tuberose). Many of the rose perfumes on the market have never seen a real rose. Your jasmine and orange blossom perfume may smell of loo cleaner because it's made from the same ingredients. All fruit smells currently used ar synthetic.

Synthetics are not bad per se. Some of the biggest classics (Chanel 5, Shalimar, Mitsouko) became revolutionary because they incorporated them. But I guess it's a bit like high street clothes these days - few of us would choose 100% polyester if we had alternatives.

Chandon · 30/09/2012 16:21

Oh, interesting! would you know if Paul Smith Rose is all chemical?

I love it as it smells pleasantly unsynthetic, but it is not expensive, so I guess it must be all fakery?

Still, smells of real rose to me, and the wonder of this scent is that it develops and smells even better after a few hours on.

I hate heavy French perfumes, especially 1980s French perfumes.

I HATED:

  • Rive Gauche YSL
  • Paris YSL
  • Chanel 19, Chanel 5
  • loulou

So few that I like, maybe, thinking about it, don't take the rose away from me

Eliza22 · 30/09/2012 17:07

Giorgio Beverly Hills. Everyone wore this in the late 80's. Except me.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 30/09/2012 17:12

There are very few that I like, most mass market ones go really cloying on me after a couple of hours but I do like Paul Smith Rose. Even so I have to squirt into the air and walk through to stop it being too strong.

BigStickBIWI · 30/09/2012 17:20

The one I hated most of all was Le Jardin. Ghastly stuff. DH was given a company car, but it was handed down from someone else who obviously used to wear this perfume. She obviously used to get in the car, put the seat belt on and then spray herself, as the seatbelt was completely drenched in it. It made me heave every time I drove his car - and it was impossible to get it out.

fedupofnamechanging · 30/09/2012 17:36

DonaAna, the perfume I love most in the entire world is Body Shop's White Musk. This is almost universally hated, or at least, associated with teenage years. Maybe I love it because it was what I was wearing when I first met my dh.

Is there a more 'grown up' perfume which is along the same lines as White Musk?

I have found your posts really interesting and I now feel vindicated in my dislike of Samsara, now you've told me that it can smell like newborn poo! Grin. I thought there was something wrong with my nose, because lots of people love it.

kiwigirl42 · 30/09/2012 17:50

Estee lauder Private Collection Gardenia - I like this alot. smells just like Tahitian Gardenia (Tiare) but its a bit single note overpowering.
My daily perfume is Shalimar - I don't like the 'new' formulation as much as the older one. The pure parfum is sublime but I also like the EDT as its got a really fresh lemony top note.
Talking of Serge Lutens, he has one called Fleurs d'Oranger which is really neroli based and really gopping on me but I own Fleurs de Citronnier which is fresh and lemony and wonderful to wear on a really hot, sunny day.
I adore the smell of violets but its hard to find anything without the powdery note.

I'd love to go to the Guerlain boutique in Paris and try their house perfumes. One day.

DonaAna · 30/09/2012 18:03

All perfume ingredients can smell either good or bad - we interpret them differently based on our inherited preferences, experiences and associations. If you associate a smell with a mean relative or your partner's ex, it may ruin the smell for you.

Musks are divisive - we get them a lot in laundry detergents and teens overdose on Body Shop products. But musks are very important in perfumes as they are one of the commonly used basenotes. I have a small bottle of Kiehl's Musk Oil. It smells good but slightly boring on its own. The two great musky perfumes any musk lover should try are Musk Ravageur by Frederic Malle and Musc Koublai Khan by Serge Lutens. I've been meaning to try the teenage classic at Sephora - the one by Alyssa Ashley Wink.

I don't know Paul Smith's rose but here is a fairly unflinching review by someone who knows a lot about perfume. Read at your own risk.

Wear confidently what you love - there is no right and wrong in perfume. Everyone has different preferences, expectations and experiences - many of the perfumes mentioned on this thread can be considered classics. But you should not be surprised if your favorite is not loved by everyone else.

I'll wear Samsara tomorrow if I can locate my sample Grin.

LaTrucha · 30/09/2012 18:07

I had that Serge Lutyens Fleur d'Oranger which I loved for about a week and now find totally overpowering.

DuaneDibbley · 30/09/2012 18:23

I was thinking of getting some Samsara for winter actually - a nice bit of newborn poo :o
I haven't bought perfume for so long (no money) and i'm afraid at the moment all I wear is Body Shop Neroli Jasmine Blush

BigStickBIWI · 30/09/2012 18:47

God, I love this thread. My perfume repertoire is very narrow at the moment, and I am in need of something new/different!

I have been wearing Jo Malone on summery days (Grapefruit, or Lime/Basil/Mandarin), Chanel Coco Mademoiselle or Stella's latest one (can't remember the name).

fedupofnamechanging · 30/09/2012 18:59

I am wearing Alien at the moment (Thierry Mugler). Anyone know what it is made up of?

coffeeinbed · 30/09/2012 19:07

KIwigirl have you tried Balenciaga?
The one with Charlotte Gainsbourg in the adverts?
That's a good violet.

coffeeinbed · 30/09/2012 19:10

LaTrucha same here.
The cumin in Fleur D'Oranger can really weigh in down.

coffeeinbed · 30/09/2012 19:12

Chandon it seems you have to avoid aldehydes.
That's the common in all the ones you hate.

Chandon · 30/09/2012 19:21

Oh coffee, that is interesting

BarkisIsWilling · 30/09/2012 19:32

Kenzo Flowers. It smells cold.

notjustamummythankyou · 30/09/2012 19:46

You can still get White Musk by Alyssa Ashley then?! I used to love that.

Bark - what do you mean by 'cold'? I loved Kenzo Flowers on other people, but it was simply rank on me. I have some Sainsburys furniture polish, and it smells exactly the same. I hate that too.

Such a shame, as my DH bought the perfume as a surprise after I kept on going on about it. When I realised it just did not suit me, I had to hide it . . .

Tamisara · 30/09/2012 19:58

This thread is fascintating, but it makes me realise just how perfume dense I am Blush.

I used to love the big guns - such as Poison, but hate them now.

I have fallen in love for the first time ever with a scent - Guerlain Insolence. Wasn't sure when I first had a sample, but then it bugged me, and I bought it. I just love it, it feels like a hug in a bottle.

Other than that I like Sun, Moon & Stars, by Lagerfeld, and Hypnotic Poison.

Jins · 30/09/2012 20:04

Oh yes. Le jardin in both it's variants made me sick.

MIL bought me a bottle every year when she heard Grin

BarkisIsWilling · 30/09/2012 21:26

I will try to put my feeling into words NJAM: it is sort of aloof, and stands out and away from other perfumes, but not in a magnetic way, rather it repulses.

BTW, Has anyone read the book, Perfume by P Suskind, and what did they think of the descriptions of smells?

YouOldSlag · 30/09/2012 21:32

I've read perfume and I thought it was wonderful. It said so much about people and reminded us that we are still all animals and often ruled by our noses even if we don't realise it.

coffeeinbed · 30/09/2012 22:06

I must be part bloodhound.
And I love perfume.