Frumpville calling - can I wear an ivory lace dress to a wedding as a guest without looking like I'm the bride

[furryfriends57]

All you knowledgeable ladies please help ....
Am 41 and have recently lost nearly 2 stone, I have a wedding at the weekend and was so looking forward to sexing it up a bit for once but I now realise frumpdom is a state of mind not weight. So anyway have found an ivory lace dress and am wondering does that break all the fashion rules as a wedding guest, don't really want to be dragged onto the floor for the first dance. Is it too young for an oul wan like me. Oh I've no idea really . Its not that I even think the dress has a wow factor but its a bit more wow than the stuff I have.

Well, as said so often here, you can indeed wear anything you like.

And I doubt anyone would mention the size of the faux pas to your face, so you would still enjoy the occasion.

Link please. And depending on style you could make it lots less bridal with black or dark chocolate accessories?

I wouldn't, I think you'd look a bit silly wearing a bridey outfit. But I'm not you and I'm sure there will be people who wouldn't think it weird.

No you can't wear it, sorry

It's not so much that you would potentially be mistaken for the bride, but just that it is really not The Done Thing to wear an ivory/white dress to a wedding.

Well it depends.

If it's floor length and worn with a veil probably not

But a short dress worn with darker accessories and shoes would be fine, IMHO.

I wouldn't

I think if you have to ask, then the answer is no.

NOw then, I have repeatedly said on this board that you can wear what you like to a wedding, and that brides determined to take a huff on The greatest day of their life when they can feel like a special princess etc. etc. deserve all the huffery they can get.

BUT

Even I would draw the line at ivory lace!

Link to dress would be useful though?

Camperfan I don't think that's necessarily true - I asked someone if I could wear black to their wedding and she looked astonished and said "Well of course you can!", and about three other people piped up and said "And I'm going to as well!"

So, I asked, but that didn't mean I shouldn't!

Another for the "don't wear it" club.

Whenever I have seen women wearing white (wedding dress type) at someone else's wedding I always feel a bit like rolly eyes "really? not happy to give someone else a day in the spotlight then"?

Nope. Bad idea.

I wouldn't - I think it's rude. You are taking a big chance that the bride doesn't wear something similar rather than a more formal wedding dress.

Someone wore cream lace to my wedding. But it was April and she had a black cardigan (done up), black shoes, black accessories and a black trim round the bottom of the (knee length) skirt. I was fine with that. Bit more iffy in the summer though, as you may well end up in all white.

Firstly, congratulations on losing 2 stone you must be feeling fab! I've been there myself and the thrill of slipping on clothes that previously you wouldn't have been able to is great.

I'm getting married in 5 weeks and I'm wearing an ivory lace dress. Honestly, I would be shocked to see a guest wearing an ivory lace dress even if it was knee length and sans veil. I wouldn't say anything but it would make me feel a bit, well, meek for want of a better word

Find something else, there are so many styles and colours that will make you feel just as good. If you're asking the question then you know it's a bit iffy.

Fuck! it's not my wedding is it??

My auntie wore a mid calf length ivory dress to my wedding. At least half of the female guests commented on it to me, along with a roll of their eyes, either on the day or afterwards. But if you do choose to wear it nobody will say anything to your face if you're lucky so you'll be happily oblivious.

Hmm - the thing is it's fine if the bride is in full-length gown and veil. But I am getting married next year and planning knee length, and ivory, and a bit of lace... So ok if you know you're not going to be identical! And add bright accessories.

Don't . Just don't. For a variety of reasons as detailed above.

ahh, phew I see the wedding is this weekend so not mine! look, I have no idea what your style/budget is but here are just a few alternative ideas - you have time to shop!:

spotty

bright

lovely and bet lynchy

floral

p.s I am 41 and would happily wear any of these (opaque tights with the zara one though as my legs are not great)

Its a tad <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?hl=en&sa=X&biw=1366&bih=627&tbm=isch&prmd=imvns&tbnid=Kg14srszZrKOPM:&imgrefurl=www.deadline.com/2011/11/first-look-helena-bonham-carter-as-miss-havisham-in-%25E2%2580%2598great-expectations%25E2%2580%2599/&docid=n_cvZRx04MlNLM&imgurl=www-deadline-com.vimg.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Helena_Bonham_Carter_as_Miss_Havisham111104070603-575x862.jpg&w=575&h=862&ei=1OsXUJ2eMKmn0AXmnICoBQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=116&vpy=136&dur=1542&hovh=275&hovw=183&tx=97&ty=161&sig=115622951591335261628&page=1&tbnh=121&tbnw=99&start=0&ndsp=24&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0,i:139" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Miss Havisham isn't it?

Am desperate to see the dress now.

And yes well done on the weight loss - 2 stone is amazing!

Nope, you can't wear it.

Absolutely no to wearing it.

Wearing ivory/white is bad.

Ivory lace is just taking the piss