Frumpville calling - can I wear an ivory lace dress to a wedding as a guest without looking like I'm the bride

[furryfriends57]

All you knowledgeable ladies please help ....
Am 41 and have recently lost nearly 2 stone, I have a wedding at the weekend and was so looking forward to sexing it up a bit for once but I now realise frumpdom is a state of mind not weight. So anyway have found an ivory lace dress and am wondering does that break all the fashion rules as a wedding guest, don't really want to be dragged onto the floor for the first dance. Is it too young for an oul wan like me. Oh I've no idea really . Its not that I even think the dress has a wow factor but its a bit more wow than the stuff I have.

I wouldn't do it, sorry. Someone wore an ivory lace mini-dress to a friend's wedding. OK, you couldn't mistake her for the bride, but a lot of people were about it, especially the elderly relatives of the bride and groom. It didn't bother the bride at all but I think the woman ended up feeling very uncomfortable at all the whispered comments, and left early.

Congratulations on your weight loss though - well done! I'm sure you'll look gorgeous in whatever you choose to wear.

Congratulations on the weight loss, you must feel amazing! I'm sure whatever you wear, you will look lovely with your new found confidence.

But...sorry, it's a no here. I also think it's worth finding out (if possible) what colour the bridesmaids are wearing and avoid that too.

At every wedding I've been too this summer there has been someone who is determined to wear the most attention-seeking outfit. Either because it was like a bridal dress or because it was made of material with the square footage of a hankerchief. It's appallingly rude imo - why can't people just let someone else really shine for a day? The mind boggles. And as already said upthread, people might not say it to their face but comments will be made - there's always plenty of time at weddings for standing around bitching and observing other guests. (This is in NO WAY directed at you OP as you have shown that you are thoughtful and considerate as you started the thread).

Thanks so much for all your very honest replies but excuse my french ... fck and fck and f*ck because I went to see the dress again with a friend and we accessorised with a long string of pearls with one strand tight to my neck and it looks fantastic just like a 40s flapper dress. The dress has a bodice made of dark ivory lace and is sleeveless while the skirt is see through net with a slip underneath. I had red shoes and a red clutch to add to it and it looked really well, very vintage which by my usual standards is amazing. However I am still in a flap (excuse the pun) about it being for a wedding. I've tried to upload photos to my profile as its not high street its from a shop that sells high end second hand clothes. If anyone can see the photos please let me know if the accessories make it ok or knows common reasons why photos won't upload and I can try again.
Oh I love MN for being able to ask daft questions like this ....

You need to make your profile public.

From what you describe it sounds very bridal.

I really really think you shouldn't wear it.

Noooooooo! My aunt got married in an ivory lace shift dress for her second wedding. Her step sister turned up in exactly the same dress!!! Both were mortified.

You need to set your photos to public. It does sounds quite bridal I'm afraid...

I'm a bit clueless about clothes but no, no please don't wear it. Ivory may be ok. Lace may be ok. But ivory + lace = not ok in my book.

For a wedding, I mean.

Very bridal sounding, especially with the pearls

It sounds nice, but not for a wedding

No, don't wear it for the wedding, but buy it for another occasion

BTW I thought flapper dresses were 1920s!!!! :)

Buy the dress - it sounds brilliant! No good at all for a wedding but I think you have have it.

This would take the same accessories and is nicely vintage. Utter bargain too. Take your fancy?

Hmm, my wedding dress was a 1920's style lace flapper dress (minus the red accessories). it's not really suitable for a guest imo

Absolutely not! Just imagine if the bride herself is thrilled with her vintage ivory lace dress. Buy it, love it and wear it somewhere else

This is why I am consigned to frumpsville FOREVER, I can only ever find something inappropriate or very frumpy. Just so you can confirm my suspicions have finally uploaded 2 photos but its a no-go, such a shame as it's a lovely dress and the accessories just came together for once.
[Sneaks back into frump cave and will stay there }

It's lovely, but it looks like a wedding dress. Don't do it.

Just looked at your photos and I think it looks too bridal...sorry

No way, that's a wedding dress if ever I saw one!

Love those shoes, not an ounce of frump there! The dress OTOH is too bridal to wear anywhere really, it's not that flattering on you either - the neckline is too high and the cut muffles your (lovely) curves away. The style of dress I linked to before would bring out your shape a hundred times better than a straight cut dress. There are quite a lot about but I love LadyV 'cause they are really cheap for the quality you get.

We'll have you looking fab - easy! What sort of budget are you on? Oh and what size?

That is very bridal IMO.

That would be a big no no.
Sorry - but what were you thinking

That is almost identical to my wedding dress, although I had lace sleeves too.

Its lovely but more bridal than my actual wedding dress was.

Anyway it could by dyed?

God no, you can't, that's a wedding dress!

A friend of mine got married in a similar dress with brightly coloured contrasting shoes recently - so the shoes don't dress it down.