help me keep motivated to lose weight and feel better about myself please.

[unavailable]

I am a woman of a certain age (late 40s) who can no longer deny I am fat flustered and frumpy. I feel old age has caught up with me over the past few years and then some.

I have now resolved to change my eating habits and have lost a few pounds, but have some considerable way to go. I know that I need to feel better about how I look now, in order to keep motivated for the long haul.

I cant justify buying new clothes as they (hopefully!) will be too big in a few months. I have had my hair cut and painted my toes, but am a bit clueless when it comes to grooming and accessorising.

I would really appreciate some confidence boosting style and beauty suggestions to help in my quest.

Thank you.

Can you afford to buy yourself a couple of nice scarves and a few bits of makeup? A new blusher and a mascara would be good, maybe? I like Lancome Definicils mascara, which is quite natural looking - and a blusher: there's a thread about a Max Factor blusher, which is cheap and pretty decent.

H&M can be good for cheap scarves, though you have to look through a lot of tat to find them.

Thanks Remus - yes, I can run to a few scarves, but I am not really sure how to tie a summer scarf. I see lots of women looking fab in artfully draped scarves but when I try it looks all wrong - bunched and bulky.

Can I recommend exercise? If you're not already, I mean? It will help not just with consolidating the weight loss but also making you feel better about your appearance.

Speaking as a charity shop hound, there are also cheap ways to get a few new clothes...I do sympathise, btw. Turned 49 last week.

Google Wendy's Look Book for lots of ideas on how to tie scarves. Must admit that all I ever do is loop it then tuck one end through the loop, if that makes sense?

Also worth looking into Couch to 5k. I haven't yet managed to have enough willpower to do it properly but on the irregular occasions that I do go (just back from one and still in my sexy running capri trousers as I write!) I do enjoy it. This time, I was out for about 25 minutes and about 14 of those were running very slowly and the rest walking to get my breath back in between spurts of running.

I'm not sure about scarves. Kind of consolidates the middle aged look if you're not careful, iyswim. One needs to tread carefully.

Although I can recommend the local swimming pool for morning sessions - if yours is anything like mine it will be full of octegenarians at 7am. Seriously. Octegenarians who look about 65, which is encouraging (I feel if I keep going I too will stave off the ravages of the years) but also call one 'young lady'.

Yes, I do need to exercise more. Dreadful weather is my current excuse for not doing so!

Thanks for the google tip - I will investigate.

Mother - my teenage dds would be the first to tell me if my scarves were too 'middle aged' looking. :) I think buying them from H&M/Topshop type places rather than, say, Liberty print, makes them look a bit 'younger' maybe? Lots of teens seem to wear them, anyway.

Mother, I think me in a swimsuit in public is a step too far at the moment (I would probably compare unfavourably to the octogenarians and that would be more than I could bear!)

Well, that's my story - and I'm sticking to it. :)

I'm sure you look fab in scarves, Remus . I personally am partial to shawls, so what do I know?

unavailable - I am also pushing 50, fat, flustered and frumpy!
Love of wine and food and dislike of expercise means I'm 2 stone heavier than I was 10 years ago.
I am having more luck with the exercise than with cutting down on the food. Maybe we could help encourage each other? I had in mind to try to lose a stone before the summer (that was 2 months ago, and haven't quite started the diet yet... so a stone a bit ambitious), and then another stone before Christmas.

Re new clothes - charity shops are helping me fix the gaps in my wardrobe til the weight comes off. Had some real bargains and yes, someone else has worn them, but someone else will have tried on new clothes in the most expensive of shops, is the way I see it.

lilo - ditto!

I would like to lose a stone before September. Fancy giving it a try?

What exercise are you doing?

definitely happy to give it a try - but I'll warn you, I might be a bad influence!

I'm a member of a gym, hadn't really been using it enough and DH made the very valid point that it wouldn't be worth re-newing if I didn't start going more, which would have really been the final straw for any hope of my getting fit.

I swim and try to fit in a couple of classes (body combat/step)

Go to new look or similar and buy some cheapo trews and tops. I refuse to buy size 14 clothes anywhere else.

I will be dusting off my pilates dvd and getting the bicycle out of the shed.

No gym membership since I paid £50 a month for a whole year in 2008 and went precisely once!

ok, so while I am at the gym tomorrow, you get that DVD and bike out, ok? Otherwise you "will be" still meaning to do it this time next week :-)

OK deal.

How did you know I have procrastination down to a fine art?

because you are my clone!

I'm trying to lose weight at the moment, and decided to keep buying a few new bits and pieces each time I go down a dress size (gone from 14 to 10/12 depending on shop). I feel more motivated to keep losing weight if my clothes fit ok, wearing too-big clothes never looks anything but frumpy which defeats the purpose of losing weight!

I just have a pair of jeans that fit well, a couple of plain but nice t shirts, leggings, and a few dresses that I can wear as dresses or as tunics with the leggings. Oh, and 1 nice dress to wear whenever going anywhere special! Virtually everything in my wardrobe is matalan/eBay as its just not worth spending much while losing weight!

well done rock chick. How have you lost the weight, if you don't mind me asking? I can see how seeing the results is really motivating you to keep going, just interested in how you got motivated to actually start (for the procrastinators like me and unavailable !)

Thankyou I've done it through diet mainly, and walking everywhere rather than driving. I found that for the first week I lost at least 1/4 lb each day, even though I knew it was water weight it was still enough to spur me on. Now weigh each week on a Wednesday, and measure my waist and hips each Sunday, so that I can see something changing every few days. Oh yeah, and I write it all down on a little chart because I'm that sad so I can see how far I've come.

If you can survive one week, you can stick to it long term. If there's any treats I'm craving, I just tell myself I can have them once I'm at my target weight

Rockchick - I am in awe of your will of iron! If I could get back to a size 10 I would be more than satisfied.

I am going low carb, as it has worked for me before.

I have ordered a new Summery scarf on ebay and watched the Wendy scarf tying masterclass on youtube. (So many ways - who knew!)

I'm off to find a bicycle pump!

Thanks all

RockChick, am also in awe. Unavailable, should we see if we can be good for a week? It might get us started.

I've been to Body Combat this morning and done an hours gardening. Really fancy a bag of crisps but am being strong :-)