Planet of the Crepes

[DukesOfTripHazard]

New bowl of crisps, tuck in Ruby!

I am thrilled at this Pixi lust. Another of their things wot I like is the cheek gel in natural. It doesn't stay on very long but while it does it's well pretty.

I felt a bit rubbish yesterday and spent much too long hunched over the computer looking at not very edifying things. Today is better. Have shredded, spot cleaned the stair carpet, written a letter to DD who will be at an outdoor pursuity place with school next week and am now going out to buy some fabric conditioner at Wilkos. When the mice are away the cat does rather boring things, it would seem .

Yus, MI, indeed.

Sorry to hear about your DH, Strops. Mine was in and out of hospital for a couple of years and they decided in the end that his was just congested. Hence the need for regular sex.

I am v tired and have far too much work on. Two people are off and I am covering their jobs and head honcho has now gone off sick and has asked me to cover his as well. My other colleague, that I could try and offload some of this stuff to, now appears to be working from home 3-4 days a week, an is mysteriously offline most of the time. I think I will have to have a couple of days off next week for my health and sanity - have been running a slight temp since the weekend (about 38.4) and am quite run down. I worked on Sunday - called in for crisis - so that hasn't helped. Spent Monday pm interviewing, and was more or less pressganged by the other two panelists into taking on mediocre internal candidate, rather than outstanding outsider, which has pissed me off no end - think they both felt threatened by the outsider as neither of them are what you would call dynamic. I didn't have the energy to argue further, just thought, fuck it, it's not my team so why should I care. Thought about it a bit more and wrote ranty email about the whole process to the head of their office about it, saying "no wonder this team is a stagnant pool of mediocrity".

On plus side, I had vast quantities of champagne for lunch ( a reception for someone I didn't know, who was leaving). And am going out for a drink with Bonsoir tomorrow night!

MrsS, I shall pass on that info about your dh to my dh - it may well cheer him up. At least it is something to think about apart from the doom and gloom prognostications.. And I jolly hope you do award yourself some sanity-saving days off next week. How do they expect you to cover 3 people's jobs and do your own work? Sounds like a few people are taking the piss somewhat.

BTM, I am trusting to dd's commonsense tomorrow. Have told the school and they seem quite understanding, so we shall see. She slept all afternoon on the sofa, so I'm still about whether she should just soldier on (well, in fact she won't be soldiering tomorrow, no CCF for her :) ).

MrsS, I foresee a Mysterious Bug that will lay you low next week.

Strops, DH was in and out, and had umbrella-up-the-cock (where they put the umbrella in, and open it once it is up there) on numerous occasions, plus large-doctor's-finger-up-the-arse. In the UK they did all this under sedation, but in Belgium, they didn't. I once greeted him as he hobbled up the path with "I suppose a shag's out of the question, then?" He wasn't amused. He had wee tests, blood tests, aforementioned brolly and finger tests and they just gave up in the end and told him it was "just one of those things". He does have to have blood tests regularly (think annually or every two years).

MI - I have had no time off sick since 2007, according to my sick record, when I was off for a week "certified sick" with bronchitis. I am (touch wood) ill so infrequently, my sick records still show my threatened miscarriage with DD2, who is now 11.

"stagnant pool of mediocrity"

I must remember that phrase. There are many areas of my life I can apply it to.

ruby my windows need washing if you have some spare time :)
MrsS 'ouch' on behalf of your DH.......
Nowt new here, apart from ds bursting into tears at least four times on the way home from school.

Oooh, your poor dh, MrsS. That description made my eyes water. Dh is enduring no cock-related procedures only arse-related ones. The GP says another patient described the prostate biopsy as follows: "like having a banana shoved up your backside and then an air rifle fired into your prostate". Dh can hardly wait - not.

Strops, I recommend your DH watches the Family Guy episode where Peter has a prostate exam - just to look on the lighter side of such matters.

V much on for spring meet up. Maybe it will be nice enough to sit outside! Gosh.

By then I shall no doubt be a stone lighter, due to my patented 'pensioner portions' diet. After the trying weekend looking after my Aged Ps, I'd lost three pounds! I put this down to eating small portions of food ? ie three roast potatoes, small bit of lamb, two veg for Sunday lunch, as opposed as much as I can physically fit on to a plate. I am now endeavouring to eat enough to stop me being hungry, rather than enough to make me uncomfortably distended.

Such discipline will of course not extend to the spring meet up.

Suspect DS has conjunctivitis. His good eye's been really gooey for a few days. Thought he'd have to stay home from nursery today, but it had miraculously cleared up by this morning, so sent him anyway [guilty emoticon]. Might take him to the doc anyway, as can't be too careful with that eye.

I am in cold sweat at air rifles, umbrellas and veterinary procedures. You can force it to scan in 'These are a few of my favourite Things' if you really try

Pensioner diet excellent idea. I panic when I'm hungry and am all too familiar with uncomfortably distended.

I have not been sleeping well. Feel overstimulated when I try to go to sleep or wake in night. DH is 'helping' by rationing my TV output. Masterchef is considered 'much too stressful'. He has prescribed nightly Winterwatch

Masterchef is indeed quite likely to raise the blood pressure, though less so now since terminally irritating Aki has finally been given the boot.

My blood pressure remains resolutely stable during the 'mass catering' tasks, with the mock element of tension shoehorned in. Will the chocolate mousse set? Will the beef wellington be cooked through? Who gives a toss? Especially as it seems to have no bearing on who gets kicked out... mutter mutter mutter.

I too haven't been sleeping well, Dukes. Maybe there's something in the air.

BD, why was your DS upset on the way home? And Strops, how is your DD?
Herbs, hope your DS is fine too!

Pensioner diet does not sound like my kind of diet. Small portions are not my thing Nor is Masterchef - far too poncy

Dukes, DH would happily swap me for your overstimulation when going to bed - I literally zonk as soon as my head hits the pillow!

No news here either, apart from a very smelly number 1 and 2 incident at work. No, not me - one of my pupils

Eeew, BTM, the joys of primary teaching, eh? Dd managed OK today, although she feels a bit rough now (allegedly), but I reckon our GP may have been right. She is still full of cough and cold, but the myriad aches and pains of last week seem to have receded. How is your knee doing?

Dukes, I wasted a good 5 minutes trying to think up a second line for the new version of "Favourite things", but it's a bugger trying to find something to rhyme with "procedures" ("need your.."?) I am also not sleeping well - maybe it's the old body-clock revving up for spring. Or something.

Herbs, thank you so much for the Family Guy recommendation. It had dh fairly chortling and I think he is beginning to get things a bit more in perspective. I bought him some nice chinos from Fatface today and he is v. pleased with them. He is feeling more upbeat, despite the date for the biopsy coming through (beginning of March).

Ruby, glad you are feeling better. My mind is fairly boggling at the "veterinary procedures" they might employ during the birth of twins (I have an unfortunate image from an episode of James Herriott stuck in my head).

I'm another one not sleeping well. But not helping matters by staying up til 1am faffing around doing "stuff" instead of going to bed.

Ruby - they had a twin birth on One Born Every Minute a couple of weeks back, and the consultant said pretty much exactly the same thing. I was very impressed at how coolly she popped them out, though. I'm sure, after the first one appeared, I'd be saying, "nah, leave the other one where it is."

Am feeling a bit small and rubbish tonight. Had a huge meltdown at the kids yesterday (way to start the holiday, Ma) brought on by nothing major, just tiredness, stress about new work role (have no idea what I am doing but keep getting emails from my boss saying things like "talk to blah blah and say the hold back is fine as it's quite short, but he should be clear it's non-precedential" WTF? I know what non-precedential means, but the rest is Greek), PMT and worry about ds2's hearing which remains terrible. He couldn't even hear me singing him a bedtime song tonight, right in his ear. So instead of cutting him some slack, I spiral off into crazy lady sorry for myself land and yell at them all for just general childhood thoughtlessness and reduce them to tears. Feel terrible. Today has been better and we've been outside and had MIL for lunch and had a nice time, but ds1 is doing that heartbreaking, "let's all be mega cheerful for our crappy mother" which, and the irony is not lost on me in any way, I used to do around my mother and sister (both alcoholics and somewhat unpredictable). It's been a long time since I've had a hissy fit like this - I thought I had left them behind.

Think I should submit to strops's dh's operation in his place, plus some veterinary procedures for good measure. Feel like I deserve them.

I've been drinking cocktails with Bonsoir in the Paris Raffles bar, which is worryingly close to where I live.

Oh wilbur (sneaks in {hug} ) we're all been there. I threw ds's school bag the length of the hall at him (missed) and stormed out once, not my most glorious moment. Be kind to yourself and hug the children. bTW what did mil taste like? :)

BTM ds gets upset and indignant when anyone has a go at his friends. This resulted in him being called a 'spiny freak' ( nice) and being threatened with a punch in the face on Wednesday, on top of which girls on his table regularly call him 'smelly', 'stupid' and a 'freak'. Plus his teacher told him off because I sent the office in to extract a cheque from him ( third day he forgot to hand in) and it needed to be in. Problem of not doing school run everyday, you have to rely on an eight year old remembering to hand cheques in when his head is full of 'why does Hermione fade herself out of the photos, are hopplytes stronger than roman legions, where would I go if I was the time travelling cat, oh look what's that interesting looking bug there...'. It was, suffice to say, a crap day.

Oh God, Wilbur, I do that from time to time, too. My finest moment (not) was a few years ago, when DD2 said she wasn't coming shopping with us (as she was about 6 at the time, she didn't have much choice). I started screaming at her, kicked the drawer at the bottom of her wardrobe (which was spilling clothes and crap everywhere) and the front fell off it. I have a very long fuse, but sometime, all the right buttons are pressed, and I just go off.

Wilbur, my lovely, the absolutely worst thing (out of many, dammit) about parenthood is the way it confronts one with one's worst side. I was once caught screaming YOU ARE BAD at three-year-old DD2 in the street .

It may amuse you all to know I managed - and I was completely sober at the time - to work myself up into a total state, complete with texts to school governers, about the (sub) level of literacy in our head teacher's letter. Am still in state of exaggerated distress about it all. Am supposed to be working at home but may need little lie-down. With cold damp flannels on my Rachel Cusk-esque brow.

Hugs to all my crepey friends who are feeling crap and a specially big one for Wilbur.

As I have such a short fuse that it could only be measured with a negative number, my appalling parenting moments are many, varied and some too grim to be recorded in writing .

Am rushing off to see new accountant, dragging along dh who worked until 3.30am and will therefore probably just sit in the corner with his mouth open.

I have been throwing up this morning. Not sure if it is period or lack of gall bladder related, as I do often throw up when I come on.

Any views?

The DDs are going ski-ing tomorrow with the school. DD1 has deemed the wrist guards I got her (after lengthy discussions with the man in Go Sport) Inadequate. I have told her to find a specialist ski shop/another sports shop and go there herself to find something else then. After a brief google, she told me that neither existed in Paris and has gone back to bed with the kitten. Well if she's not bothered, why should I be?

Thank you, lovely crepey friends, for nice words and tales of throwing bags, breaking furniture and shouting in the street. The sacred role of Motherhood, eh? Feeling better this morning, done some cleaning (penance) and will now head out for a swim and buy the kids a hot chocolate and a bun at the cafe.

MrsS - love the sound of cocktails with Bonsoir and hope the dds have a great time skiing. Does that mean you are childfree and get to do Whatever You Like for a whole week?

MI - I meant to add my tuppence worth when Rachel Cusk was mentioned earlier but really, what is she on? Her relationship broke up and her husband hates her and she finds this baffling? Erm, maybe writing a book about how the child you had together ruined your life might have been a mistake? Oh and refusing to do "Mum" stuff on principle until it suits you? [insert snort of disbelief and derision here]. She writes for shit, too.

Sorry about your head teacher's lack of grammar. There's a lot of it about, innit?