Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

Original poster

Let the grey hair come through or keep dyeing?

32 replies

NedZeppelin · 14/11/2011 12:18

Am old gimmer. Hair dyed a whole ago but regrowth this time is looking very grey. Question - do I let it grow out or continue to dye until I die? Also what sort of style suits grey? Its straight btw. Advice appreciated (am 44).

OP posts:
ZuzuandZara · 14/11/2011 12:24

A difficult one. I'm still in the dying until I die corner. Am 39 and fairly grey. I have a friend same age who has stopped dying and she is very grey. She has just below shoulder length hair with a fringe, quite straight. I looks very nice, nice colour, quite dark grey with some lighter bits. But it is ageing. Difficult decision!

Whitecat · 14/11/2011 13:11

It is defintely hard to give up colouring. I had half hearted attempts in the past but this time gave it my all and now have about 4 inches of all natural hair growth. My hairdresser reckons its 20% grey.

I'll be honest and say I've still got an emergency colour in the cupboard but as it grows its looking better and better. That harsh line starts to soften as the dye fades away.

Argan oil has been a great boon too. No more frizzies. :) (am nearly 46)

levantine · 14/11/2011 13:26

I'm thinking of doing this too - I'm 40

My hair looks shit even when dyed now, and I have had it done at the hairdresser at vast expense the last two times

I really think badly dyed hair is awful and just as ageing as grey, so I think I might bite the bullet - I reckon I am at least 50% grey

traceyinrosso · 14/11/2011 13:31

I am currently in the same dilemma but having been dark blonde it isnt too bad in terms of roots just the debate whether at 41 I give in to the inevitable- my mum and grandad both went snowy white !

ENormaSnob · 14/11/2011 13:37

I think it is very very aging tbh.

Whitecat · 14/11/2011 13:38

Embrace the -grey- no dye method.

I've dyed my hair for 25 years, since the first ones appeared. Admittedly I've had some great colours but its all really deen about disguise. Must have spent a fortune too.

Now my silvery hairs shine and catch the light and I'm starting to like them.

WowOoo · 14/11/2011 13:40

I've had highlights and lowlights I think,so that it blends in. My grey is still there but there are a few other (close to my natural hair colour) tones there too.
Much better than all over, I think.
But, it was bloody expensive and I can't afford to get it done again for a while.
My mum looked fab with her grey hair. She had a bob - it just looked very classy on her.

levantine · 14/11/2011 13:51

It's difficult isn't it.

I've seen quite a lot of woman my age look fab with grey hair, lots more than there used to be

DH and I went out for dinner recently and there was a very stylish woman there who would have looked fantastic if it wasn't for her very blocky dyed dark hair. I thought she would have looked great with grey hair

I think it probably will make me look in my forties rather than thirties tho

Original poster
NedZeppelin · 14/11/2011 14:45

Hmmm what about styles then- would a bob be ok? I agree re badly dyed hair looks awful when you get older!

OP posts:
Bugsy2 · 14/11/2011 14:52

NedZ, what colour were you before you started going grey? If you were not too dark brown then you could go for some blonde highlights?
I am greying brown & at the moment, I put a temporarly colour in once a week. That way I don't get the badger stripe, it just fades as I wash my hair. The temporary colour keeps it in great condition too.

CMOTdibbler · 14/11/2011 15:01

I'm 39, and have one haircut left before I'm dye free completely. Totally white round my face, 70% grey elsewhere I think - basically I'm white and silver.

Have had huge compliments since I grew it in

niminypiminy · 14/11/2011 15:02

Grey bobs can be lovely.

I'm firmly in the 'throw away the dye and realise what a liberation it is' camp. I love my grey hair, if you look after it properly it's silvery and can look beautiful and glamorous.

And liking my hair grey is part of liking myself as someone who's lived a bit. I'm not my young self any more, how could I be? Would I go back to when I had unlined skin and dark hair and was really unhappy? Would I hell!

I look at women with dyed hair and all I see is the dye, it doesn't really fool anyone.

this is an inspiring site with lots of pictures of women with beautiful grey hair.

levantine · 14/11/2011 15:23

"I look at women with dyed hair and all I see is the dye"

yes me too - even tho I am one

Two words - Paul McCartney

Ephiny · 14/11/2011 15:30

This is really why I don't want to start dying my hair - I'm 30 and have an increasing number of silver strands starting to appear. I don't know how/when I'd stop, and suspect the grey roots growing out would look worse than just greying naturally and gradually.

I wish it wasn't happening quite yet though...

Bugsy2 · 14/11/2011 15:49

I think the problem is that there is alot of bad dying of grey hair that goes on. Most permanent dyes contain either peroxide or amonia to help the colour "take". Whilst this works well initially, on grey hair, which is much more porous you lose the colour quicker and you end up with that really flat "ex Beatle" look, which is dreadful. Added to that the peroxide or amonia bleaches any remaining colour in your own hair, so you end up even greyer than you started.
Another problem is that people try to stay the same colour that they used to be. So you get that solid block look, which is hard & unnatural.

As long as you are not too grey, non-permanents can work really well - but you do have to use them regularly. I do mine every monday morning. Slap it on, do all my normal 1st thing in the morning jobs & then wash out half an hour later in the shower. I wash my hair every day, hence dying every week, but if you can go longer between washes, you'd only have to do it every couple of weeks.

Original poster
NedZeppelin · 14/11/2011 16:12

Thanks all and that mental image of Macca had really helped Grin. I know a couple of 'older gentlemen' who think they're rock stars and they do the same thing- not a good look... I think I'll head back to the semi permanents for a bit and let it gradually come through. May grow the bob back too. Embrace the grey!

OP posts:
levantine · 14/11/2011 16:23

yy - not to mention Berlusconi

It's a bit like when men wear make up though, you think wtf has he got coloured pigments on his face, just when women do it it looks a bit more normal

levantine · 14/11/2011 16:23

I'll do it with you Ned - am up for it and my hair is dark, so it will be tricky

whojimmyflip · 14/11/2011 16:36

I agree with what everyone says about bad dye jobs. I think people lose sight of what their 'natural' colour is too so it just looks too harsh / flat / red etc against their skin which is v aging.

Also the line of regrowth that comes through is often more noticeable than if the person didn't dye to begin with - because the eye is drawn to the contrast. It can be a bit shocking like when you see a pretty face then up close you see all the plastic surgery / makeup etc.

if we all didn't dye our hair it wouldn't look so ageing to begin with.

Anyway, hypocrite alert because in spite of the above I'm trying to go lighter rather than dying brown. maybe one day I'll go grey gracefully!

shesparkles · 14/11/2011 16:39

I think I'll be dying till I die!
Saying that I've had blonde highlights since I was about 15 (41 now) and am naturally dark blonde so I'm going with blending! Not too many grey so far, but maybe ignorance is bliss!Grin

HouseOfBamboo · 14/11/2011 19:31

yeah - embracing the grey isn't such a bad thing. I think - especially if you're naturally very dark - that most people reach a point where dyeing just isn't convincing any more. And keeping up with badger rootage is a pain. Okay going grey won't make you look younger, but at least you won't look like Mystic Meg or Macca, and you will have a hair colour that complements your natural colouring because it IS your natural colouring.

Going lighter brown or blonde is a good option for some people, but many people with very dark hair just don't suit it

pointydog · 14/11/2011 19:38

Dye.

Otherwise look ancient.

And get the right colour. My hair doesn't look dyed.

BlancheIngram · 14/11/2011 19:39

I'm rather depressed by this thread, though I do agree. I'm 34, my natural hair colour is almost black, and it started to go very visibly grey in my late 20s. Last year I realised quite how much it was bothering me (after a new GP assumed I was menopausal), not just the ageing but that I'd always had a block of very dark colour around my face and I felt as if I was fading into mousiness. I wouldn't mind if it would all go a fabulous silver but the idea of years of looking steely and mottled got to be too much. Doesn't help that it's long. So what do I do when the very dark dye starts looking unnatural? I don't think I'm there yet, but it's coming... And meanwhile it's almost unjustifiably expensive.

pointydog · 14/11/2011 19:47

A very dark friend of mine went blonde, ash blonde. She also happened to lose quite a bit of weight but that's by the by. She has dark eyes and eyebrows but she looks fab, great.

Still just as expensive as she now dyes regularly to cover the few black hairs. Worth it, I'd say.

HouseOfBamboo · 14/11/2011 19:48

Blanche - I think at 34 you're got a few years of dyeing left to go, don't worry!

Home dyes are pretty good these days - I did semis at home every 3-4 weeks for a long time. If you use half a pack at a time and just do the roots it can work out quite cheap.