Let the grey hair come through or keep dyeing?

[NedZeppelin]

Am old gimmer. Hair dyed a whole ago but regrowth this time is looking very grey. Question - do I let it grow out or continue to dye until I die? Also what sort of style suits grey? Its straight btw. Advice appreciated (am 44).

I used to have white-blonde hair but, in my twenties, it started to darken. During my thirties it was still blonde but I had it regularly highlighted at the hairdressers for an extra 'lift'. Now, in my late forties, my true colour is a faded mousey colour which I home highlight. I really would prefer to just let nature take it's course but am petrified that I'll look faded and washed-out! Dilemma!

Isn't it messy and time-consuming? I loathe faffing about in the bathroom with potions. At least at the hairdresser they make me tea and let me read in peace. I asked last time if they had a proper silver dye, thinking that when the time comes I could suddenly go exactly the right colour, and then I could start to grow it out with silver semis until it's all that rather elegant pale grey, but apparently there's no market for it. It's the in-between beige thing I can't face. Really dark eyes and white hair can be rather stunning.

Blanche - it can be messy and time consuming, that's one of the reasons I gave it up! But really, it needn't take that long and it's certainly quicker and cheaper than getting yourself to the hairdresser. I guess it used to take me about 25 mins (applying and waiting time) then however long it took to wash it out (which isn't really much longer than washing your hair in the usual way).

It's not really possible to 'dye' your hair grey, since grey is just the absence of colour rather than bleached hair with a bit of grey colour on it. Bit like the difference between a colourless glass tube and one that is painted grey. Totally 'white' grey hair is very luminous for this reason as it's kind of glassy.

If you have a mixture of grey / non-grey your grey hairs just pick up and reflect the colour of the non-grey hairs around them, so a bit like a 'watered down' version of your natural colour. Grey rarely comes through uniformly though, so you're likely to have natural streaks, which can be quite pretty.

"if we all didn't dye our hair it wouldn't look so ageing to begin with." I disagree with this. Our mothers' generation all seemed to look older earlier than middle aged women today. I do absolutely hate the tyranny of dyeing my hair but with pale skin and grey hair, I'd just fade away, I feel.

If you give up on your clothes and making the best of yourself when you go grey then it can all go horribly wrong. Grey and beige is not the best colour combo on many people but so many older people do it. Add a blue rinse to it and all you see is someone who has lost touch.

It was the glassy look I was hoping eventually to achieve. It just seems more dignified to head straight into glamorous silveriness than to hang about either clinging gracelessly to lost youth or slowly degenerating through shades of pale brown. Oh well.

See, I never much did making the best of myself. Just relied on striking colouring and being slim and talkative. Now I find myself dyeing my hair and noticing when I don't bother with makeup and seeing everything droop. I've been a feminist all my life and I can see the politics, but I can't bear to fade away.

See I quite fancy a blue rinse. But beige, no, that can feck off, clothes and hair wise. My hair's greying, but it can in no way be described as beige.