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Style and beauty

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Original poster

Waist length hair on a child - to cut or not?

32 replies

jennifersofia · 26/10/2011 23:39

Daughter has very long thick hair. She loves it, but cannot manage it herself. It is getting more and more difficult the longer it gets - needs lots of prolonged brushing and gets tangled easily. I am loathe to make her cut it, but also resent the care that goes into it. Anyone else have experience of this? She wants to be able to sit on it.

OP posts:

Bohica · 26/10/2011 23:46

I've only this last week discussed this with DD and we are going to get her hair cut to shoulder blades with layers as it's curly and thick and a pain in the rear to manage in the morning and she doesn't want her dad to help her in the bathroom to wash her hair but can't manage it herself - I'm at work some evenings so DH has to take over, DD1 is nearly 10.

She also wears it up 99% of the time as she loves dancing and bike riding and it then has to be tied up for nit invasion school. Aw gawd, the weekly nit check takes an hour at least for DD1 and then I have her sisters to do as well!

mycatsaysach · 26/10/2011 23:55

we had to do this to dd's hair when she was about this age for the same reasons.
we had it cut just down her back below shoulders and it grew again really fast.
now we do it like this every year or so and it still grows back the same maybe a bit more wavy.i am thinking of trying some deep conditioning treatment or serum for her.any suggestions?

workshy · 26/10/2011 23:56

hold old is she?

my dd1 has had hers cut into a longish layered style and it looks so much better (9)

used to brush it and then 5 minutes later is was tangled again

she has increddibly thick hair my fault she inherrited it and I remember how hard it was to manage
she has just learned to wash it properly and can comb it through when it's wet but has no hope of putting it up by herself

can you not talk her into how grown up she would be to be able to do it by herself and taking a few inches off would make it easier to manage?

Original poster

jennifersofia · 27/10/2011 00:14

This all sounds familiar! She is 9. I think she would also actually look better with it shorter. I have spoken to her about it, but she doesn't really want to. She tries to brush it, but gets very frustrated (despite tangle tamer). Layers is a good idea. Olive oil (cheap) on the ends is a good conditioner, but she does end up smelling a bit like a salad! I only put it on sparingly at night.

OP posts:

workshy · 27/10/2011 00:17

have you tried coconut oil?
smells nicer :)

startail · 27/10/2011 00:25

DD1s wasn't that long, about 1/2 way down her back. In Y7 she got fed ip with not being able to brush it and without saying a word got the hairdresser to lope a good 5" off. She was very sneaky just got it done quick while DD2 and I were round the corner. I wasn't pleased, but in-retrospect it was a very good idea because it's grown again now and she brushes it herself. DH used to get lumbered with the job.

NatashaBee · 27/10/2011 00:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PrettyCandles · 27/10/2011 01:02

8yo dd has fine, straight hair that reaches her thighs. She can sit on when it is loose. Most of the time it's in plaits or an up-do. To make school-day mornings easier she sleeps in plaits, which means that I rarely have to detangle. I use tangle-teaser brush, or a very large paddle brush with plastic (?) spikes rather than bristles. If it's wet I use a wide-toothed detangling comb.

I buy hair serum, the sort that advertises shine and smoothness, and that you're meant to apply to wet hair. I dilute it in a spray bottle, about 1serum:2water, and spray it on to the ends and the lower half of her hair, as well as onto the brush.

Dd has just got the hang of washing her hair by herself, standing up in the shower - hooray! Still working on brushing and styling - she can do a couple of ponytail styles, but not plaits. I had to teach her to draw the brush right out at the ends, and follow it with the palm of the other hand, so as to make sure she didn't create tangles by lifting the ends with the brush and brushing them hack in at the top. It seemed obvious to me, but was not to her.

Last spring dd wanted to chop her hair off to a bob. I agreed, but asked her to think about it for a few months, because it would be a huge change and no going back. She has changed her mind. It's staying long.

pocketandsweet · 27/10/2011 06:59

My dd (5) hair has nearly to her waist (despite a few haircuts along the way). I was just going to second the sleeping in plaits thing. This has made a massive difference to getting ready in the mornings. Also (although I know they are expensive) we found a Mason and Pearson brush to work much better than the Tangle Teaser (which my daughter actively hates). Other than that I would suggest using a hair masque conditioner on her hair when you shampoo.... I have tried so many conditioners and from our experience the best are Aussie Mega and the pots of hair masque that you are supposed to leave on for 5 minutes or so (I think ours is L'oreal in a white and red pot).

mybrainsthinkingcookyou · 27/10/2011 07:10

Unless nits are a huge problem then I would keep it long - let her cut it off when she's a teen/rebelling but let her sit on it now...buy the fancy hairbrush, the coconut oil and do the plaits thing but keep it long.

seeker · 27/10/2011 07:12

Get it cut. Little girls should have better things to think about than doing their hair.

And stat tail- a year 7 isn't being sneaky, getting her hair cut without consulting you! She shouldn't have to ask you at that age- it's her hair!

Thehusbandsatcricketagain · 27/10/2011 08:25

natashabee we tried the tangle teaser on my dd when she had waist length thick curly hair.......it was a disaster as she screamed so it never got used again

she is now just 12 & in the last 6 months it has gradually crept up to just below chin length with layers & it is great,I should have insisted on it years ago as I have always had to manage it due to the fact she has enough hair for 3 people

cjbk1 · 27/10/2011 08:57

Cut it! What does a little girl need waist length hair for?

seeker · 27/10/2011 08:57

In a pre-teen child, any hair style that takes longer than about 5 minutes on a school morning is ridiculous.

OneHandFlapping · 27/10/2011 09:06

Why is a 9 year old so obsessed with her appearance?

FancyForgetting · 27/10/2011 09:17

I would suggest that if you do decide to go shorter, you leave it long enough to tie back when necessary, especially as it's thick, otherwise it becomes a different sort of problem (as I found out with DD) when it falls forward when they're doing schoolwork.

Still tying back should also help re 'little visitors'. And when she goes to secondary school it may be required to be tied back for Games/Science etc.

I think that very long hair is hardest to maintain between approx 9 and 12, when you and they would like them to be able to manage it themselves, but in reality they still need a lot of help. Just washing, rinsing and conditioning is a mammoth task, so limiting the amount of hair involved is an excellent idea. Could you sell her the 'independence' idea and treat her to some really nice (and effective) hair products if she's resisting the chop?

Floggingmolly · 27/10/2011 09:23

Cut it. Nobody looks good with waist length hair, even little kids.

DedalusDigglesPocketWatch · 27/10/2011 09:25

DD is nearly 4 and has hair down past her waist despite several haircuts. It really isn't a bother, she has it plaited most of the time and keeps them in for bed.

I got the body shop paddle brush a few years ago for my own thick, long hair and it makes brushing dd's so easy.

dabdab · 27/10/2011 09:35

Sorry, signed in as old nickname - I am also jennifersofia.

Onehandflapping, she isn't obsessed with her appearance, she just likes and feels emotionally attached to her hair.

I do think you are right Floggingmolly, that not many (possibly no one) looks good with waist length hair, but I really don't want to force her to get it cut. It has been helpful to have opinions because I realise that I do feel that it should be her decision for her to feel happy about it. In the meantime we can use some of your tips re: coconut oil or hair masques (we already do tangle teazer and plaits at night - but the ends still get tangled).
Good point about letting her cut it off when she wants to rebel!

MonstrouslyNarkyPuffin · 27/10/2011 09:37

Wanting to be able to sit on her hair doesn't sound like being 'obsessed by her appearance' to me OneHandFlapping. It sounds childlike.

I would do all I could to convince her that shorter was better, but if she really wants it long, the coconut oil and plaits to sleep in sound good. And regular trims to keep it looking healthy. If it's very thick a leave in conditioner/serum (at least on all the hair below her neck) might help with the brushing etc

libelulle · 27/10/2011 09:41

Dedalus, - my DD is nearly 4 and her hair just about reaches her neck - and she's never had a haircut in her life!!!

whomovedmychocolate · 27/10/2011 09:42

Same problem here. Don't know what to do because she's only five and loves it long but it's getting silly. I have taken to plaiting it which seems to keep it in good nick but I've found hot oil treatments work really well on it to stop it getting tangled. (And FYI we just bought a pot of coconut oil and melt some and put it on then shampoo out five minutes later so it's dead cheap).

lampli · 27/10/2011 09:42

I was forced to have my hair cut off as a child for similar reasons and I rebelled by growing it back as soon as I was 16. It is now stupidly long, mainly to annoy my mother. I find Mason Pearson brushes the best, and there are different types for different textures of hair. Unless she gets it cut very short it will still need to be tied back for school and sport, and you may find that it is the thickness that makes it difficult to brush, not the length.

OhYouBadBadGhostie · 27/10/2011 09:44

one of dds friends donates her cut hair to charity - I don't know if this one is any good but it might b a way of helping to reach agreement on a hair cut.

mousyfledermaus · 27/10/2011 09:51

cut it, a bit longer than shoulder length is still long but much much easier to handle.
also don't forget health implications: hair is heavy and can cause headaches from pulling the neck due to the weight.

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