Fabulous at 40+: your (non-surgery) style and beauty wish list

[CakeandRoses]

Turning 40 in a few months and I'd like some ideas as to 'stuff' I could have done or buy which would make me feel I'm entering my 41st year looking better rather than worse.

I have long layered reddy-brown hair which I'm happy with except the colour, until very recently I didn't need to colour it as I don't have much grey but I used a home-dye a few weeks ago and wasn't that pleased with the results

My skin's pretty good, very few wrinkles except one between my eyes (which I dislike) and a couple on my forehead (which I don't mind).

My body is generally fine and I'm reasonably happy with it. I'm a size 10 - 12, a few pounds heavier than 'usual' but I'm confident I'll lose it when I stop bf my 11mo baby at some point. My tummy is almost flat again and has no stretch-marks really. Some cellulite and stretch-marks on arse and tops of thighs from puberty which I dislike but not convinced there's much that will really improve them. My boobs will probably leave a lot to be desired once I finish bf.

My teeth are good (have had them whitened and a couple of veneers years ago).

I love make-up, I know what suits me and I update it often so I don't think any radical changes are needed here.

I feel like I'm a bit lost clothes-wise as I've spent the last 4 years in maternity/post-pg/bf-friendly clothes and have loads of clothes i'm not sure suit or fit me properly now but I'm struggling to see what I should keep or give to Oxfam. I'm not interested in fashion per se but love beautiful clothes, colours and prints. Monsoon's probably the high street shop closest to summing up the kind of thing i like. I like to look groomed but a bit eclectic/boho (sorry I know that sounds twatty, just very hard to describe one's style without sounding like a twat, imo)

Sorry, huge OP but wanted to give a clear picture of where the problem areas are/aren't.

My wish list so far:

• Wardrobe clear-out and then buy some new clothes (not sure what yet aside from some flattering jeans, possibly Levi Curve IDs which I was recommended on here)

• Personal stylist (a one-off consultation thingy) - worth it?

• Hair coloured at salon - is this worth doing regularly rather than doing at home?

• Botox on my between the eyes frown line (really not sure about this as I've always considered myself 'not a botox-person' whatever the fuck that is, maybe I've just not seen anyone who it's made look better, only women who look obviously botoxed and not at all younger)

• I already have Crystal Clear micro-dermabrasion once a month (which I really rate) plus pedicures and Decleor facials

Oh stylish ones, please tell me what else I should add to this list (money no object-ish)

Here's what I'd do.

Get your hair to the colour you want it at a hairdresser, then come on here and we'll tell you how to maintain it. I can pretty much advise you on how to achieve just about any tone through using home colour. I can possibly also advise you on how to fix the one you've got, but that's another thread.

Carry on doing your hair at home, because with the right knowledge, you really can save an absolute fortune and look just as good.

With the fortune you save, you can indulge in botox between your eyebrows 3 times a year, which will keep you looking fresh.

Microdermabrasion sounds good, keep doing that, but you could ditch the facials unless you feel they make a huge difference (is fun though) and have some dermaroller instead or even just do your own more "meaty" facial at home using a 10% AHA gel etc.

Make sure you use a good broad spectrum facial sunscreen every day.

I recently had my "colours done" (you get draped in colours they tell you what clothing, hair and makeup colours suit you best - when I say suit you I mean really light up your entire face!) - there are a lot of "coverts" on here so if you were thinking of consulting an image consultant I'd recommend going down the House of Colour route, get your colours done and maybe do one of their personal style day courses too if you like it.

It all sounds good though!

Oh thank you, all v helpful!

Right, will do that re hair colour - thank you. I'm not sure whether I should stick to my natural colour (which I like) or go for something different. My eyebrows are very dark so probably wouldn't look good with blonde hair plus my skin-tone is cool so doesn't caramel tones and going darker could be morticia-like. Think I've answered my own question there actually.

yy, i use dermalogica's skin-tint which has a factor 15 sunscreen - i've assumed it's broad spectrum but thinking about it i'm not sure

you reckon the between brows botox will look 'natural' then? will i lose my 'look' which keeps the children in place tho?

i enjoy the facials so do them more for pampering than results but was wondering about swapping to the guinot hydrodermie ones instead. sounds similar to the roller things you've mentioned - do they work well?

i like to think i know 'my colours', I'm a designer (not of clothes!) so colours are something which I'm very confident with. It's more the shapes I'm struggling with - i feel like I'm not sure who i am (i accept I'm not a 20something year old any more but unsure what a 40yo me should look like if that makes any sense at all?)

I have a slightly warped body-image too having been all shapes and sizes due to 2 pg close together and almost non-stop bf. i keep finding myself buying really frumpy and too-loose dresses when my body suits tighter-fitting stuff (i'm curvy but not fat but look fat with excess fabric billowing round me)

actually, i might go for the house of colour thing anyway - sounds fun and i might be surprised and learn something. still have the 'shape' problem tho...

If you do the full style thing (its a bit £££ though) they do shapes, "style" as well as colours and makeup - its sort of a complete package. I reckon it would be good. I've just done the colours though so it would be great to hear from someone who's done the personal style journey or whatever its called. I know that sounds really housewifey and middle aged but the thing I did was really really good and I'm 34.

Botox - just try it. I don't think it will make you look unnatural and you will still do the "look" to your children - just pretend there are lasers coming out of your eyes when you do it, that works for me. If you dont' like it, you will be back to yourself within 4 months. But it wont be so noticeable for one area that everyone will know, either. You'll probably just look fresher and a bit less grumpy!

I love hydradermie - I used to have them. I doubt they do anything major but they are lovely and pampering and they are good for intensive hydration and plumping your skin up if only temporarily with moisture etc.

my tip would go to a student night for colour
i have an aveda colour for £20 locally - semi and permanent. is amazing.

colour is quite good tbh - had mine done once, never bother with wrong shades now.. if you are on south coast dm me - neednt bother with HOC or CMB

Botox
Lash serum
No hair do's
Lose weight

what lash serum do you use noddy?

revitalash absolutely amazing and I am hugely sceptical

thanks - I need something like that (and botox!)

gosh it's ££££! Where do you buy it from and how much do you pay?

Money no object? You lucky person you!

I'd go for -

A couple of Vivienne Westwood Anglomania dresses especially if you are curvy rather than straight up and down - they are v adaptable and v v flattering;
Some Gap Curvy jeans;
Some wedge heeled shoes and sandals;
There are two hair dyes I'd recommend - one is called Perfect Ten and the other one I forget the name of but also takes only ten minutes to work;
Olay Regenerist stuff is good.

Thanks all - the wish list is getting longer.

colonel on my jeans thread, a few people recommended the Gap Curvy jeans as well as the Levi ones so will def check those out too.

Some of those VW dresses are gorgeous. I will go and try some on.

yy, i'm a wedge-fan too

noddy what does the lash serum do exactly (i've read the claims - does it really deliver those?)

i honestly don't think i need to lose weight other than the few extra pounds I retain whilst bf which prob wouldn't be sensible to 'force' off. I'm a size 10 in dresses and a 12 in jeans (due to said curves) and I look better at this size than properly skinny. i'm also heading into 'face or arse' age so that is a factor too.

i'm def not a hair do person - my hair is very long and staying that way forever

tatty you're convincing me re botox. anyone recommend a good practitioner round east herts area please?

I'm in Herts but went to Harley St for Restylane with Dr Tracy Mountford. Would highly recommend her and she has her main clinic in Stoke Poges.

She is very down to earth and only sells you what you need- no high sell.

Cheers strawb I've gone off the botox idea a bit again this evening but will save your post in case I rethink. Seen getorf's got a whole botox thread too which might be worth a read before I make up my mind.

tatty I'll be sure to post if I do the style journey thingy

dora thank you. Sorry, what did you mean by not to bother with the HoC thing?

OP it's always worth a consultation- I had one and had a think for a month before deciding.

You may be told that Botox is not what is needed. There are a whole array of things they can use including fillers.

I had just 1 mm of Restylane in each cheek to give a lift and stop my cheeks sliding down my face! it will last at least a year and cost £650.

All v interesting. Not sure why OP considering home hair colour if money no object. Always the salon for me because I'm hopelessly impractical ! Have asked for a H of C session for birthday (am well past 40 but never too late).

strawb fillers scare me even more but maybe you're right - a consultation wouldn't hurt.

poly I'm happy to spend money on things which are worth it but I don't like wasting time or money. I find it hard enough to organise time away from the children for hair and beauty salon appts so making the hair appt even longer by having it coloured there too is a concern.

Thanks anothermum, I thought about asking about frownies and then forgot again

Have you tried them?

Any experience of the caci? No idea why but I always thought they would be a con/very short-lived results.

cheers anothermum, just ordered some frownies. do they look totally ridiculous on?

will look into caci too.

like you, i feel hopeful there will be another better option sometime soon

have to say, when i used to watch Ten years younger, it was always the hair/make-up and clothes which i thought made the difference rather than the surgery (teeth excepted - what was it with the teeth on that program?!)

My tips are...

Have my hair done at a salon every 4 weeks to keep grey away. I cannot do it at home as have dark blond hair with a few subtle highlights

Tried botox a couple of times and it did not work for me made me look really angry....so use Relax a Line now and it is good

I do glycolic peel every week for 6 weeks every so often and have fab results

Use Skinceuticals vit c serum and always use sunscreen

Use a glycolic acid moisturiser

Facial Flex really works well

Had a teeth whitening guard made for me at dentist and keep teeth white via home whitening

Drink lots of water

Callanetics

great list silver, thanks!

please tell me more about the glycocolic peels and the Facial Flex

glycolic even