Crepeys/Hagsnet - come to the candlelight!

[MrsSchadenfreude]

As the last thread is now full...

I have to say, I haven't met any horrendous parents in DC's year groups (apart from one, but thankfully they moved away in Y1), but some of the mums of younger children look more "competitive" - the area has become much more upwardly mobile over the years!

Bit short of sleep last night because of dd's b-day "sleep"-over. I stuck the earplugs in at about 1am, but the squeaking and giggling went on until 3.30am and then they were up at about 8.30, perfectly chirpy. It all went v. well according to dd and I am currently revelling in feeling appreciated (doesn't happen very often, so I make sure to enjoy it when it does). ds was the only one not impressed, as he got into bad trouble with me for squirting the girls with a water pistol and throwing water bombs at them.

I could say a few things about school gate cliques, but I've realised that I've made myself highly identifiable on these threads and where I live is very small.

Am I the only one no good with child swaps? Doesn't work because of the age gap. No one has dcs the same age as mine and anyway if I have one friend round for ds and one for dd, the little boys spend all their time deliberately stalking and annoying the big girls. Is a nightmare to police. PLus, even if I am not working , dh is, so allowing loads of noise is not on. Mind you, this is why I have got a large shed at the bottom of the garden. Got it this Easter with a view to making the dcs live in it all summer.

I do the odd child-swap, mainly with a friend who I met at NCT classes when I was pg with DS1 (eeek - 12 years ago now). I always feel I get the best part of the bargain as she has only two DCs and I have three. The five of them get on OK, mainly because they have known each other since birth.

Apart from that, yes, the usual patchwork of holiday clubs, football coaching, granny and days off. It does help that I only work four days a week and I can shuffle my day off. Honestly, you make it work, there are lots of options available.

As for playground cliques - meh. Maybe they exist, but I don't worry about it; I know who my friends are.

CV - that's what I mean. Cliques do exist, but they exist everywhere. It's only when they get out of hand, as it were, that they are a problem. There's at least one definate clique at ds's school that I on the edge of but I know they would all deny it is a clique . See all depends where you are in relation to it. Hardest thing I find is like the parent, but not the child - that's tough. Can mange other way, but it's hard.
Three hours of children dancing, singing and acting - unbearably hot in theatre and my father practically climbing the Walls (I did warn him). On plus side booked must beautiful traditional Japanese house for 6 days - can't wait!

Well I am rejoicing for School Journey - not only was DD away for a week, but she has come back much more appreciative of my efforts - in particular my cooking

The first thing she did when we got in the house, was raid the fruit bowl big time - apparently the food was terrible and she didn't have any fruit or veg all week. She told me that she is now very glad I provide a balanced diet and cannot understand how some of her friends can survive on just sweets every day!!! This was the DD who used to moan at me for giving her "healthy" packed lunches

She also had 3 very early nights in a row

CV, you're so cool! I want to be like you.

Thanks for the reassurances ladies re swaps, cliques (or lack thereof) and other childcare matters. This of course assumes I can get him into a school. This September in our borough there'll apparently be 700 children with no primary school place. Erk.

Had lovely joint NCT birthday party in the park on Saturday. Though project 'get eight toddlers in one place to blow out a candle' was abandoned due to the 'herding cats' problem. Now stressing out about DS's actual birthday party on Saturday. We've got about 25 adults, and six children, coming. If it rains, and they're all inside, it's going to be hideous. Also, what to feed them? As it's at 2.30 people aren't going to expect lunch, or dinner, so does it have to be sausage rolls, cheese n pineapple on sticks, etc? Is there a middle-class version available at Waitrose? Like the pizza idea, but it would mean spending most of the party getting pizzas in/out of the oven, in a kitchen quite possibly packed with old people and toddlers. Stress City.

Anyone got a child who hates school? Hate may be too strong a word and I suspect boredom plays a huge part (not pushed enough - I think - hope that doesn't sound pfb - and not doing enough of what he likes). Any ideas on how to handle this. I don't wnat to just keep saying 'well you have to go' and 'you've got years of this so get used to it' as I think they are such negative messages. I find it hard, as I loved school so just don't really get where he is coming from. Anyone?

Herbs: crisps. More crisps. Posh crisps for adults. You can't go wrong with crisps.

Blackduck, have you spoken to the school about it? This time last year my ds was v. anti-school, but he is now very keen. I took certain issues up with the senior management team and he has been set appropriate challenges this year which has made a huge difference. He even asked his teacher to come and live with us. :)

Hi Strop - did talk to his teacher about it, but I know the guy is struggling (NQT - first year - lots of pressure). How old is your ds? and what di dthey do specifically? Ds isn't naughty or anything like just very disengaged and demotivated....

MI - can I come to one of your parties - crisps - my kind of girl!

My new trousers for this Thursday's interview (did I tell you I had an interview? Small press job, to pay bills) have arrived. They look rather nice in a black-capri-pant sort of way. Am hoping for vaguely - ie superannuated - Bout de Souffle look.

Hi Blackduck. My ds is 6 (so Yr 1). He started off in Reception v. enthusiastic but was completely bored and demotivated by the summer term. Essentially, the school has risen to the challenge of extending him appropriately by giving him more responsibility (member of school council etc), more taxing work, getting him to work with higher years on occasion and probably the most important for him: not letting him get away with producing scribbly drivel when they know he's capable of far better. This has all made a huge difference to his attitude.

Good luck with the interview, MI. And good luck with the Bout de Souffle look. The only time I have a Bout de Souffle look is when I am running up a flight of stairs.

I think the not letting him get away with it is key. Ds brings his homework home (too easy) and canters through it at a rate of knots and then gets told off for scuffy writing. His teacher knows he can do it, but also knows ds has a hundred and one ideas in his head and getting one of them on paper is a challange! Dp and I have just had a long chat abut HE, smaller schools and all sorts of other stuff.

MI - link to trousers??

Blackduck, what about next year's teacher? I found it useful to make an appointment to see the headteacher to discuss a way forward. I would also say that it isn't the size of the school that counts, it's the quality of the teaching.

Will wear with white linen top, fake tan on legs and flat black pumps.

Stropp - good point. Don't get me wrong, I think ds's teacher is great and ds likes him a lot, but I think ds gets 'lost' in the classroom IYKWIM...

MI - have them in red - love them!

Chic strides MI.

BigTillyMint how lovely that your dd has come back with an appreciation of you, fruit and her bed. That is adorable.

We had a very appreciative playdate here yesterday. She thought our road 'might be the quietest road in London'. She lives on a main road. When I told her mum she had been a total pleasure the mum laughed for a really long time. What is that, self-deprecation on a really high level? Anyway, lovely kid.

Today has been exciting - leant my childminder my ghds to try and they burst into flames. Whoops. And now friend has forwarded an email from me to her teenage son who is playing the pianos round london to see if we can hook up with him at the weekend. Unfortunately, said email also included me letting her know how much i enjoyed wearing the lovely plumo dress she handed onto me, on my holiday sans underwear.

PMSL. (Almost literally.)

So those trousers will be OK? They're slightly shorter on me than on the model, as I am the sort of shortarse who has a relatively short body and long(er) legs. But I think they'll work. Thursday is set to be fairly but not madly warm.

BD, DS has never really liked school - not in the way I did and DD does.
He has enjoyed some teachers, particularly in KS1. However he HATES his current teacher who is grey, though not old!- drab and boring, bad-tempered and shouty. All the class hate him. Only 3 more weeks, yay! He is in Y5 and is NOT a quiet, unnoticable child
We remind him of anything good that is happenning that day - football training, friend coming for tea and ignore any moaning as much as poss.

Boys are much less ready for the formality of school than girls and generally are like square pegs in a round hole as all they want to do is move around and do stuff and most schools / teachers don't cater for this very welll. However, they do get more used to it over time! DS was not at all interested in trying hard when he was 5, 6 or 7, then at 8 he began to focus more, and now at 10 we are very pleased with how he is doing.

MI I have some black capri pants and have been complimented alot on how I look when worn with a white shirt - I'm sure they'll look great on you

SNORT at commando dukes! Teenage boy will NEVER look at you the same again.

MI - love the trousers and I'm sure they'll look great. I'm trying to find something similar in navy that isn't linen (I only have to look at linen and it crumples). I am actually planning to go to the shops tomorrow as I have 2 hrs between school drop off and ds2's sports day, so if the fashion faries are kind, I might find some new stuff then.

Thanks for the perspective/kind words all. Ds just wants to do some more history and maths. He can bore for England on Ancient Greece/Rome, Incas, Aztecs, Samurai etc etc....
All this design a healthy menu stuff leaves him cold. I think I was a makor approval seeker as well which makes a difference. Doesn't help he is in a class with the year geek and can't get a word in edgeways :) Perhaps we are worrying too much!

How old is he BD?

He's 8. He was okay until this year (yr 3) and now not keen!

Mmmm, well it could be a combination of a less-than-perfect teacher and the jump up in KS2, if he has been OK till now?

If he is just moaning a bit, I wouldn't worry too much, but would keep an eye on it obviously. I would try to give him a mix of "sometimes we have to do / put up with stuff we don't like", with trying to find the positive. And I would encourage all his interests out of school (I'm sure you do this anyway)

If he is really unhappy, I would go in and talk to the class teacher / head to try to pin down what the problem is and how to move forward.