Someone help me please!

[rickman]

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First off your hair - a good cut can make you feel a million times better. Go to a couple of good hairdressers and ask for a consultation. Then go with the one you get a good feeling from.

Then, hang about round a 'Benefits' cosmetic stand (in Boots and other big stores). They will sooner or later offer you a free makeover.

I would say rather than try and do something drastic to your body shape, you need to dress to suit what you have. What's your shape?

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I agree with Mum2girls about the hair. Highlights can really brighten up your mood as well as your hair. In fact investing time on your appearance can be really good when you are feeling down. It's all about self worth - you are worth spending time and money on, you just are so don't argue

Aw stop it! How you look is incidental to attraction. Hattie Jaques had men fighting over her (really, she did).
My friend lost both her legs in an accident and married a very rich and good looking man. And Sienna Miller looks like an angel and Jude Law still shagged the wonky-eyed nanny.
And anyway, I bet you are much better looking than you are letting on.
Your problems are exhaustion and unhappiness. Could you get a bit of time on your own to go to hte hairdressers for a cut and colour?
You will lose weight in the end - you could start by trying to eat a bit more healthily atm. How big are you anyway?
Beetroot has had four kids and looks amazing. It's possible. I've only had two and look blubbery mind you
Clothes are easier! What size are you? What do you like?
Btw you don't have PMT do you?

How fat is fat?? I.e. what size (if you don;t want to say I understand!) - I am a size 22 by the way! Just trying to get a idea of what we are working with! And even at a size 22 I have had offers!

If you want to lose weight then Beetroot is posting a diet starting 14 Nov - have a look in "Health". Or devise one yourself that you can stick to. Or follow any of the hundreds of diets around. Feeling that you are doing something is half the battle - I am feelign really fed up at the moment but it's because I know I am not addressing the issue - when I am working on the weight loss I automatically feel better.

Exercise! Just getting out and walking the in fresh air is good for you.

Like the haircut and makeover ideas. Make a bit of effort every day to dress as well as you can and look as well as you can.

Don't look on it as a way a find someone else for the moment. Just look at it as a way to get you to feel more confident in yourself.

Actually, Rickman, I thing you are doing yourself an injustice. You are very pretty and there is now way in the world I would ever describe you as fat.

If you want to cheer yourself up, then go with a haircut and do something to pamper yourself. Be kind to yourself Rickman.

Rickman love - come on woman!! be more positive, you have 4 kids fgs, I have you on a pedestal for that alone!

You need to look more objectively and positively. What are your 3 best points? (I don't want any of this 'haven't got any' twaddle, cos we all have.

Come on now, you asked for help, help us to help.

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Yes, but we all hate photos of ourselves cos we all have an image of ourselves from when we were 20 and it comes as a bit of a shock to see the reality. I think your biggest issue is your perception of yourself - feel down about yourself and chances are others will too.

Get your hair done, and get your make-up done, you'll feel heaps better.

Then I would suggest, if time allows (I'm thinking of the kids here) that you book yourself an hour with a personal shopper at somewhere like John lewis - you don't have to spend a penny, but they will guide you in the right colours and style for your shape.

Start with your hair though - makes a huge difference.

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Hi Rickman I go to Doo-daas in Canterbury, the staff their are lovely and they have some junior stylists that are a bit cheaper. Also Antonio's do cheap haircuts on trainee nights that I've found just as good as paying full whack for a trained stylist

(quick hijack - hi Cadbury hope you and your lovely little ones are well!)

Go on, go to the hairdressers and read magazines and sip coffee and feel like YOU again. Do you the world of good.

Rickman, every time I see a photo of myself, I go on a binge! Avoid the camera! you will feel much better about your looks if you do something; hair, weight, bit of slap, whatever. Hopefully it will have a "snowball" effect. I'm sure you're lovely, don't be so hard on yourself!!

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Rickman-archive some of my past threads and you will see what a mess I think am-I too am in a bid to lose 8 ilbs for personal reasons-am willing to be there for you if you need me!

Beety-link please-now!!!

Get your ex to have the kids one saturday instead, and your mum can look after your baby for a few hours, surely?

Ifeel like you quite often -- less kids but still similar..

What I try to do is make an effort with some small things... make sure eye brows are always plucked, pits and legs shaved.. clothes ironed and very basic makeup on (tinted moisturiser makes me look less corpse like than my usual ghostly pallor)... these small changes motivate me on the bigger stuff... I would flick thru the trinny and suzannah books to get some ideas of what clothes to wear to best suit your shape and root thru wardrobe to find a couple of good outfits that you feel good in... then treat yourself to a couple of pieces of nice jewellry to finish them off not expensive but something that makes a statement I like treasurebox.co.uk at the moment -- good stuff and there is a lot of quite reasonable stuff on there...

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Rickman, you sounded so down last night - and here is this thread. You haven't given up and that's half the battle. And I stand by what I said last night - you have loads more to offer than any pert boobed teenager.

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Rickman, hairwise I just walked into a trendy hairdressers said "I'm bored with my hair, cut it" and listened to what he suggested. All sounded fine and it looked fab. Needs tweaking to make it managable at home for me but I was very pleased. It wasn't a drastic cut but made a huuuuge difference.