Congratulate me, I have not dyed my hair for a whole year!!

[seashore]

Hi all,

since it turns out I'm allergic to hair dye I have now not dyed my long hair for a whole year. It has been hard sporting a two tone look. A very helpful person here put me onto the going grey looking great website which completely turned my views around about grey hair. I can't remember your talk name, I think there was a moon in it? but thank you, you really helped me out. I am soon about to get a chop as I am close to half and half at this stage but it has been a long year. I'm 42 and thought I thought I would dye my hair until 50. My mum never dyed her hair at all and she always looked great. I think I have about another 6 months of growing to be completely dye free.

I stopped dyeing about 5 years ago and never looked back. In that time I've had a bob of various kinds (dark with silver streaks) and my current pixie crop (pretty much grey all over).

I get my hair cut regularly and well, and spend the money I might otherwise spend on getting it dyed on beautiful clothes. Sometimes I look tired, but you know, don;t we all. Having light hair round your face is much more flattering than dark as you get older, especially as your skin tone also lightens. My grey looks like rather expensively done highlights in my hair and means that it's not all blocky and harsh.

I love my grey hair. I don't think it's more ageing than dye - I know lots of women who dye and I don't think it makes them look younger than they are: merely ageing women with dyed hair. Besides, what is so awful about ageing? I've just had my 49th birthday and if I couldn't be who I am at this age, how pathetic would I be? I really do feel this constant chasing after youth is a bit pitiful.

If men can be silver foxes, why can't we?

(And well done, OP!)

Well said niminpypiminy, all so true.

Rocketsalad, go for it! I don't know what length your hair is but I've got to say from my experience of growing it out I'm glad I didn't get a short hair cut (although am very envious of those that a pixie hair cut suits because I love that look) but letting it grow out slowly I've been able to make sure I've no regrets because any time I think, ah no, no more hair dye, I look in the mirror from the dye to my eyes and my natural colour to my eyes and plainly the natural colour compliments me whereas the hair dye is, well just awful! It is tough though putting up with two tone, the other thing is I was going to do it sometime anyway and years from now the tide line would only be even more extreme.

feedme you remind of my mothers experience at work, she never dyed her hair at all, occasionally at work a customer would ask politely - if you don't mind would you tell me what colour you have in your hair? Mum would be delighted to say it's her own! It's funny though, isn't is, the assumption that it must be a dye, that what we have naturally couldn't be good enough

Seashore it is now much shorter than when I posted last night! It was quite long but very thick, it is not quite as long (just past shoulders) but very layered so lots of the build up on the ends has gone. A pixie hair cut not an option - it just doesn't suit me. I don't think it is going to be a major deal as I haven't used permanent colour and I don't seem to be massively grey. As you say it has to stop some time and much less painful now than when it is very grey. A couple of my friends have done it and frankly they look pretty glamorous

People usually can't tell I dye my hair (until I recently changed it to red from brown red!) I always tell people though because I don't feel ashamed of dyeing. Reading this thread shows me how my personal vanity is so different for different bits of me. I often don't wear make up, am very nonchalant about body hair and even forget to trim my finger nails regularly (self care seems to go to the bottom of my priority list)I don't worry to much about my wrinkles either. BUT I am fanatical about dyeing my hair regularly every 4 weeks so roots are minimal. I did go grey once but felt I was treated very differently by men. I was on a course with several men and didn't get invited to the pub whereas the younger women did. I felt I was no longer considered to be fun. I am 43 and starting to wonder when the menopause will begin. It is a funny change of life time.
Hmmmm this thread has given me a lot of food for thought....

Gosh Blimey! Don't bring up the "M" word

Funny because I am happy to go grey, happy without make up, only sort out body hair when I swim or go to the beach but I don't ever want wrinkles and am fanatical about facial exercises! I even do them in the car! What an odd lot we are!

Funny change of life time indeed

that really made me laugh rocketsalad!!!
nice to know I'm not alone with my mixed up beauty routines

blimey, this is a sidetrack but I remember being on a course when I was 27 yrs and was asked along to the pub after! And these two guys (they were twins) from the group were asking everybody their age, when I answered they insisted I was not 27 but 21, I didn't really pay attention but they kept on at it, I told them my age a few times and in the end they just decided no I was 21 and it wasn't 'cool' to pretend to be older. It's all about perception I suppose but it's also so shallow.

Actually one of the women running that course was about 40 and she had past shoulder length frizzy grey hair and olive skin and a really beautiful face! She looked brilliant!

I have a question for the many grey posters here, you have all been so lovely and supportive - once grey is it ok to still wear grey? Ironically it's a colour that has always suited me and I have a couple of new items in it which I really like but haven't worn whilst I'm two tone. I hope I haven't wasted my money. I know blue goes well with grey (you only have to look at the sky) and any shade of blue always makes my eyes pop, it's my best colour, but what about grey? Any advice would be great, thanks.

Funnily enough I only started wearing grey once I'd gone grey, and now I love it. Grey has so many tones and shows up textures so well, doesn't it? I've got a friend with long silver hair who wears loads of grey, and sometimes she looks like a shaft of silver elegance from head to foot.

another thing. do you think using hair dye causes hair to go grey or is that just rubbish.

do you think greying is genetic or due to stress in life?

I have been having an internal jukebox day thanks to this thread.

Sorry if it sets anyone else's off, but

"Sing if you're glad to be Grey, sing if you're happy that way.."

I have pretty much black hair, nearly white hairs are coming through. I am 31 and don't want to look like a badger.

Thankfully catinthehat2 I am immune to that song, which is lucky because songs easily set up home in my head, always ones I don't like and most hard to endure, tunes from kids tv.

alemci, I think it's a bit of both, genetic and stress but I can definitely say that my grey progressed steadily from when I first started using dye (which I did too early) whereas it has completely stalled in progress since I have stopped. I can actually see two inches of difference - the two near the dye has way more grey that the two of most recent growth.

ninimypiminy, I love the way you put that - a shaft of silver elegance. I want to be a shaft of silver elegance!

You can only appear to be a shaft of silver elegance, if you are elegant to begin with.

Otherwise you just look old and grey.

"do you think using hair dye causes hair to go grey or is that just rubbish."

I never used hair dye until started getting a few greys in my 40s.

thanks for that Tallula, will bear it in mind

Thank you everybody that posted here, so many interesting and supportive comments, I'm really glad that I did this as it has focused my thoughts about the whole thing and most especially I am now ready to stop thinking so much about my hair and just get on with life!

But I know I'll still think about it from time to time now that I have an eye for natural/grey and dyed hair and how good either look. I suppose it's a bit like if you go out shopping for a new coat you start looking at what coats everybody else is wearing.

Anyway, saw yet another great grey haired person, in the paper yesterday, Arundhati Roy, she looks so beautiful, and what's great is her hair is frizzy and still looks fantastic. On the other end of the scale I also saw Bono sporting a new and most awful dye, it's so dark it's exhausting his face and the texture of it is a mess.

Good luck to the many here that are now growing their hair dye out, it'll be so worth it!

Thanks again