Whatever you want, whatever you like, be WISE and AVID, so do your sums, and get it right....!

[DolceeBanana]

New thread...sorry bit lame compared to normal, but thought I'd bite the bullet (as it were)....

bet it Chesneys Tracey

Bloss....wowee! Gorgeous photo and love jacket!

Loobylu- can I be added too purleese? Thanks

Ughh...cold coffee...had to go up to console DD who had MMR jab yesterday and is feeling bit under weather , and loving cuddles made me drop off in armchair in her room ....oh dear...had so much to do too!

Roman - you are so nice. I always go out of allowing the cleaner to bring either her children or her grandchildren (big gaps bewtween dcs), even tho was mentioned/hinted at several times here.....

Tracey - allowing Bea to 'paint' and making marmalade.. at the same time - wow!

Roary would love to hear what you have to do re abs separation ? still 2-3 finger gap here after almost 12 months!

big hugs to your DD dolcee

Well to be fair she mostly just paints the tray of her highchair and as the marmalade is a 3 day process it was just chopping today so no boiling to setting point [stress]

So how are we doing with budgets this month then?

I have bought and kept

• OWW stripey top £38
• j crew jacket £90
• gap breton £10

And bought and returned lots including the gilet and those rupert sanderson shoes that my little fat feet just couldn't squeeze into.

Choo - have you got the scarf yet?

Mac you can get a referral for physio and you should just so they can check on the seriousness of it (the surgery thing gets mentioned if they think you will get a hernia because of the gap!).

But basically I have been given a lot of pilates-type exercises that I have to do very carefully and have been told to stop my post-natal pilates because it is not precise enough and likely causing me more damage. (I did not find this surprising, problems at pilates led me to having the gap investigated in the first place).

It's a lot of muscle fine-tuning, learning to turn on your transverse abs without activating any other muscles or doing a pelvic tilt, then exercising with them correctly activated, which will knit the larger muscles together.

Just returned from a lovely afternoon browsing antiques with DS2 to lots of replies to my dilemma.

Thank you so much to all of you for taking the time to tell me about your situations. DH is looking forward to doing a bit of travelling but like Bonsoir's DP, he loves to sleep in his own bed at night. Of course the Eurostar may make that a possibility for one day only events/meetings.

I am essentially a SAHM (I do a few education related 'jobs' on the side) so that should make the whole thing a lot easier. I applaud those of you (NY, mac and Roman) who work as well and cope with the difficulties/emergencies on their own.

NY, your job 'dilemma' is even more complicated than mine. There will be lots of great advice on here when you need it .

florence, best of luck with 'making it work'

My situation is much like NY. DH is forces too and spent 4 months away in 2010. Much the same in 2011. And these are not for operational tours either - just exercises, courses etc etc.

I work full time too and dd has just turned 3. Have no family near and just have to keep things afloat to the best of my ability. It is hard - but as I have said before I take my hat off to SAHM's. Luckily I enjoy my job!

As NY said there are some positives - full control of the remote control, nobody else to cook for etc etc!

Pickled See any nice pieces on your afternoon venture?

hf128218, I saw a v. nice shabby chic desk type thing but the price is putting me off, it was only £75 .

I also saw a great fox fur gillet (£40) and I almost bought it. It was slightly weird in that the front was attached to the back by a narrow strip of fur in a tabard like fashion. It would most definitely have suited one of you lot more than me.

I am very impressed with your self sufficiency hf. I rely a lot on DH under the guise of it being good for his relationship with the DC .

Pickled My motto is 'If you want something doing do it yourself!'

Anyway wil be back later. Glad you had a good afternoon! Hope the Starwars promise has come true

OK, so far this month (including immediate post christmas sales)

Bloch gold flats £80
J Brand skinnies £72
Boden jumper dress (I know, I know) £63
Label lab scarf £15
Huse cardigown & vest £47

Total £277

Think that's all, but can't quite remember...

Returned

Paul & Joe red dress
J Crew shirt
J Crew Joey sequin skirt
Chloe skirt (Outnet...)

Total value £290-odd

January purchases: none so far! Have to admit that I ordered a few bits end of December that arrived only last week so I'm not totally deprived . There is really not much in the shops I like at them moment.

hf I try to live by your motto too. I always arrange a babysitter when I want to go out with friends, go to yoga etc and if DH has to stay at the office, then I don't have to resent it. My Mum thinks it is strange but her situation was just very different when we were children.

Hello, just back from taking the boys to kiddie Capoeira. Great fun. I always arrange a babysitter if I want to do something to. We had live-in childcare until v.recently and now have housekeeper who stays on if nec. Her younger daughter often comes over Dolce. She's 13 and the boys think she's very cool. I like it as she plays Harry P with them.

It can't be easier for an 18yo Brazilian girl becoming a mum, what with her mum being a cleaner with jobs all over town in the mornings, here all afternoon and babysitting for me half the evenings. I'm happy to have a baby around sometimes if the cleaning gets done.

Sometimes working ft and travelling is sh*t. Yesterday, 7 mins after eurostar pulled out of the station dh called to say ds3 had vomited. Well nothing I could do short of dive out of the window like James Bond, so I left my sick baby and was out until 11.30pm

Ooh, I've bought £0 of clothes for me this month. Am starting to get hooked on the pious thrill. Bit like running and other things I don't like much

January purchases:

£64 in BR yesterday, 4 items (pre sales cost £200)
£40 Dune shoeboots (reduced from £100)
£45 dress from Oasis
£25 dress in Benetton (reduced from £50)
£25 shorts in FC (reduced from £45)
£10 2 x Gap ts (reduced from £18)
£10 'vintage' LA bag from ebay

Total £220 but could have been £458

pickled Great haul at bargainous prices!

roma Must be hard to hear of DS3 being sick and there was nothing you could have done to be with him. Hope he is better today!

Hi all,
DD has gastro so I missed the meet-up yesterday. I don't feel too good either.

Hells, I am sorry about your grandmother. Verity, your poor aunt. I love the top.

NY, the dress is lovely on you, from what I can see!

Roary, glad you had a good night and got whistles!

I have no family help and DH is never home until late, although he doesn't travel anymore, so I always use babysitters.

Eeek, budget, I had some Christmas money from my dad so I think I am even although I bought a lot: Belstaff boots (still not here), Crumpet scarf, Boden sandals maternity clothes (charged that to DH!), Banana Republic navy sequin top (thanks NY) and Coco Cashmere cardigan.

Ok, so this month I have bought:

Whistles long sleeve tee in nude - £12.50
Whistles nude/beige cashmere tweed jumper - £55
this Phase eight dress - £42
Boden leopard plimsolls - £25
leopard sandals - £38
LKB red patent leopard ballerinas - £60
these trousers - £12

So that's um £244.50 and quite a lot of leopard

I am still waiting for a My Wardrobe parcel containing

this coat, this dress and the gilet. am sure at least one of these items will end up going back....

I can't even begin to list the amount of stuff which has been sent back but I've probably only kept about a third of what has been delivered
You will notice that I deliberately haven't set myself a budget as I know I'll never stick to it!
On the plus side, nothing I have bought has been full price although am not sure that is always a good thing..... am done with the sales now and am going to have a go at buying one or two very carefully chosen top end items instead of my usual piles of tat.
Am carefully compiling my wishlists now......

Verity sorry to hear your aunt has NF

Hells glad you felt up to coming back

Tracey sorry you still feel crap. I am feeling very blobby atm - Shred arrived a few days ago and is still in wrapper.

DD2 still poorly - not sure she will go to nursery tomorrow either so another day stuck at home but am out this Friday night for friend's birthday and my mum is having both dd's overnight - yaay!

Pickled - great shopping haul this month. DH always laughs at me when I tell him how much I 'saved' before telling him what I actually spent!

If you like shabby chic, my friend has set up a new business from her home in France exporting French style furniture and other bits shameless plug here!

I was doing so well with my budget up until Monday and then ordered:

• the Blossoming coat from Pure (150 GBP)
• BR dress (32 GBP) (which they tried to deliver today after I ordered it yesterday - fab service for an overseas delivery. Now just have to retrieve it from the DHL depot!

Evening all.

Bit of advice from anyone who has experienced this. One if my best friends has rung me tonight to tell me she has breast cancer. Caught it quite early but it us aggressive so will need chemi and radiotherapy as well as large lumpectomy. Same age as me with a DS the same age.... we met through NCT but have a lot more than children to talk about - we click about all sorts if things.

Obviously I have said that I will help in any way I can practically and emotionally. Dd gets on really well with her DS so having him over to stay is no problem.

I want to buy her a present to say I am thinking of her. I know flowers are traditional when people are ill, but i also remember reading that flowers can actually be more of a pain because they need arranging etc.

Any ideas or thoughts of things you have done in this situation?

This is my second close friend to have cancer in the last few years. Just awful for them. Other friend is in remission, but had to have a hysterectomy in early 30s whilst childless.

Thanks for the phone case recommendations.

That?s a beautiful pic tracey but I don?t believe the whole no-make-up thing ? surely her lips aren?t naturally that colour?

plum am as agree with cake that you looked about 22. Will not be standing next to you at the meet-up!

bunny I prefer the first (and cheaper!) boots

This month I spent £105 on the Mulberry pouch (thanks again Choo!) and my budget is £100ish so that?s me done. Am not looking too hard in case I spend my February allowance early

Oh gosh ny I'm sorry - cross posted, not being insensitive. Am not sure what to suggest as a gift. Does she have a cleaner? Was thinking that when she starts treatment, going over and cleaning might be a very welcome gift?

NY So sorry for your friend who has just been diagnosed - and your other friend

All I can say is be there for her when she needs you. Be there when she wants to talk - or even shout at you. Listen to her - but most of all treat her exactly as you have always done. She is still exactly the same person she always was.

Sending prayers and good wishes to her.

I always think flowers are lovely.

x

That's awful, NY. My mother loved getting flowers, cleaner is a great idea, also stocking the freezer. My mother's friends did a rota so that someone always drove her in and waited with her while she had her treatment, you are working so maybe not practical. Her skin will be sensitive from the treatment so maybe creams for this?

NY - how very sad. I had a very similar situation fairly recently and got wonderful advice from here and another thread I go on a lot....suggestions I acted on were a surprise pack of beauty treats...not sure if there are any issues when she is having chemo (maybe google)...but for my friend I got some beautiful bath oils, a face mask, some aromatherepy pulse point mood things (calming, sleep enducing etc). Basically things to make her feel pampered and gorgeous when she was going through harrowing treatments.

I sent her some super deluxe chocs later on when she was on bedrest.

Plus texts to let her know I was thinking of her (I was advised these were the most appropriate thing...as sometime phonecalls not wanted if she is sleeping/resting/not in the mood for chatting)

My friend has said these things were a very welcome and happy diversion and made a big difference to her.

Elemis have some lovely products.