Call me a snob but this is my style nightmare

[naturelover]

Next summer we are attending a "Medieval style" wedding and we have to dress up in Medieval costume.

I'm bloody dreading it! And am a tad annoyed that I no longer have an excuse to buy a nice frock! I've been breastfeeding or pregnant for ages and haven't worn a dress for years.

I think I can cheaply hire a costume for myself but not sure about DH (very tall) or toddler boy.

Sorry, not looking for solutions as such, just a rant!

You poor woman!

Not snobby imo. My idea of nightmare wedding too. All the guests looking like fat extras from Merlin. Boke.

Fair enough if the bride and groom want to make dicks of themselves but to insist on all your guests doing so too? Simply put I wouldn't be going.

Oh no, I am cringing for you. I hate those kind of things. I once went to a medieval banquet as a corporate night out. We were served from tin bowls by women dressed as "wenches" with heaving bosoms. As the only woman in our party I felt very uncomfortable.

Maybe someone can help find something appropriate that isn't fancy dress but you could use fancy dress accesories for? Then you'd get a nice new dress too. There are lots of velvets and jewel colours in the shops.

I'd go in a knight armour.

I wouldnt go.

Another divaish request from a bridezilla ,sounds like to me

If you do go, hire a pantomime horse costume

I'd love to wear one of those pointed hats with a scarf on {saddo emoticon}

Oh dear - umm have no useful suggestions at all - sorry.

I wish I could avoid going but it's close family. Lack of a babysitter may force me to stay in the hotel room in the evening though (phew) and miss the banquet (no plates or forks, allegedly, just knives and platters).

I'm glad it's not just me then! I seriously hate fancy dress at the best of times. But I figure it's their day, I'll go along with it graciously and just pray that too many pics of me don't end up on facebook!

I like the knight armour idea, except it's the height of summer.

How do people manage to think these things up - and WHY ?

I love the knight idea. Get your DH to clank around on the dancefloor in armour, leaving a trail of destruction in his wake. Then he will pass out from the heat and they wont be able to revive him as they wont be able to get to him

You could just go as a Buxom Wench, which should be easy enough if you are breastfeeding, just get yourself a bit engorged before you make your grand entrance.

Kids can go as urchins, no effort necessary.

Oh sorry misread your OP, you are no longer breastfeeding. (That kills my wet-nurse idea as a back-up plan...)

Pop to your local blacksmith and see if he can rustle up a chastity belt as a wedding gift.
I would refuse to go dressed up.

Ha ha ha @ Medieval wedding.

The thing is, when I'm not breastfeeding I'm flat chested, so buxom wench not an option. I also have short hair, I've threatened to wear a wig. Maybe I would be unrecognisable on photos - actually that's what I'll do!

I expect that MIL and other elderly guests are dreading it all now.

there was a medieval ball when i was at uni. i went as a leper - a v. cheap look and good for bfing

they sound appalling
is it a northern wedding?

anyway have a look here if you must....

roar @ 'is it a northern wedding'

There's a castle near me that you can hire for weddings that offers this. They provide jesters and shit.

I actually think it sounds fun.

If you like that sort of thing.

But seriously, are the bride & groom's grannies going to be dressing up?

Poor choice of words. They don't actually provide shit, although that would be in keeping with the theme.

Go the whole hog (look here for ideas) and upstage the bride with the gorgeousness of your gown.

"Is it a northern wedding?".

Fuck off

Be very very glad you didn't have to wear sackcloth as a 'serving wench' to get yourself through uni. No heaving bosoms, just literally me in a sack.