I have an awful feeling I may be a potato

[Lizzylou]

What about your arse?

The shame

Flat-ish more of a pancake than a potato.

Mines nearest a pear but with potatoish properties.

The absolute rule of arses is to own the world with it. Maximise your maximus as it were. A cheeky little sway and a confident gait and yours will be Marilynesque instantly, in posture and personality if not shape and size...

(and yes, I do think bums have personalities )

Imagine you are drawing a figure 8 with your tushie as you walk and you instantly have a lush bum!

Mittzy if I walk like that I look like I've shat myself

PMSL at this thread

My arse is square

mine is a pumpkin crossed with cauliflower

nah you all need to get yourselves to an ice rink. have you every seen a skater with a saggy ass?

plus it also helps tone core muscles so helps flaten stomachs. bonus.

Would a nectarine in size 18 be a contradiction in terms?

Think mine is more net bag of oranges than a nectarine

Mine is a nectarine deluded

So, abs of croissant, bum of nectarine - basically I'm a delicious light breakfast

mine is 6 stoats fighting in a sack

Mine doesn't fit any of those descriptions, and if I were to wear any of those dresses my fat, saggy, bat wing arms, bony shoulders, fat, saggy three baby tummy and wringled neck would look so awful no-body would be looking at my arse anyway.......off to hide whole body in paper bag.

sparkle those dresses are vile!

Sparkle! Stop being so down on yourself!
Those dresses are vile, am sure you'd look fab in a nice dress, wearing it sassily and with confidence a la Mittzy.

Dancing, having seen the evidence I am now auditioning for dancing on ice, the fat housewives special.

Oh and Norma, you probably did!

D'you think Riven?

I mean, there are 12 star signs at least, it is quite unfathomable that the entire female population have bottoms that come in only 4 shapes.

No no no! "bottom expert" Dr David Holmes has decided there's only 4, therefore there must be only 4.

His mother must be so proud

Well it is all tosh but you sound just edible anyway, Abs

Mitzy - a horizontal figure of 8 or a vertical one?

All that about modern diet and lifestyle turning you into a tomato is tosh.

You're BORN with a shape (generally huge-lumpy-pear-arse or flat-apple-arse). You can make it a smaller apple or pear by losing weight etc, but you won't change its basic shape.

Stuff and nonsense.

And the dresses are shit too [growl].

flat arse also

i too am a spud.

or rather bag of spuds.

it looks best in a duvet

Hmmm, none of those arses captures the key feature of creeping round the sides to become one with the mummy tummy.

DH and BIL have flat arses, lovingly know as the 'hinge' or 'base'.

lol, dh thinks I have lost the plot! Thank you for moral support..still need body paper bag though. Have been promised a toblerone on chat thread for guessing the weight of a baby, so I am my own worst enemy as far as the size of my arse is concerned.

How do you do a figure of 8 when you walk, horizontal or vertical ?