Help me not love this coat

[latrucha]

Hobbs here

I haven't go the money to buy it but now I've seen it I don't want anything else. In fact, even if I did have the money I'm not sure I'd buy it as I've just had a baby so will lose lots of weight (ahem).

I love it. Help me not love it. Or find me something else to love. Please.

Yes cruella, it was so good you've even put me off my curry

It looks like it only does up with a kind of belt thingy. That's useless, really it is, it will fall open all the time, the wind and rain will get in AND it is EXACTLY that kind of dressing gown which Cruella describes the owner of.

I have no objection to a lot of grey coats but that particular mix of black and white(ish) is very hard on the eye. Remember those 1980s suits that were that colour?

mmmm

Oh that's a horrible image FA

Off to dinner....

It'd be good if you could get it for a bit less. It's a shame there aren't any on ebay.

Nope

ebay is rubbish

masterful writing, cruella

Wouldn't a coat like that go all soggy & heavy in the rain? I imagine that it'd be hard to wipe off any gunk that got on it (a hazard that us moms encounter frequently). And when you kneel or sit on the floor or ground, doesn't it just get in the way (get dirty immediately)? Also, I couldn't cycle well in it.

Yes I expect any coat or jacket I wear to cope with all those things. So, it just screams impractical to me.

And how long would it take to dry after a wash... or was it dry-clean only? (again, not a practical feature).

The All Saints jacket is pretty... but honestly, what sort of fainting act would do justice to my horror the moment my child grabbed hold of it with chocolate syrup or ketchup still on their hands?

Exactly ragged

Enormous raspberry farty noise to you FlightAttendant.