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Original poster

I think I may have made an S&B faux pas : (

28 replies

Flighttattendant · 08/10/2010 08:20

This is going to sound mad but I am just wondering if I have done something crazy and odd.

There is a lovely mum at school, whose style I really admire. She is someone I happily chat to but we're not coffee house friends type thing, just fellow mums.

Anyway she had this bag. I loved her bag, thought it was the most lovely bag in the world. I felt sad that I had not got her bag, and would never have her bag, because she is so special and lovely and always looks just right (and I don't)

So I searched ebay for her bag, knowing the make, but not the style iyswim...and after about 8 months or so of daily search emails, I found it. It's an older model as it were, so not in the shops, but there it was on ebay and I bought it Blush

I have worn it to school every day this week, and she has not said a word about it, though we have talked. I should say at this juncture that she stopped wearing hers well before the summer hols and still uses a different one every day so she is not wearing the same bag as me, now.

But I suddenly feel dreadful. Does she think I am a freak? Has she not even noticed? Does she not care?

Should I pretend I don't KNOW I have her old bag's clone?

Please help, I am an emotional wreck.

OP posts:
miracled · 08/10/2010 08:26

I think it depends on the bag and how unusual it is. She may not have noticed or she could be really fed up with it and doesn't care.

TitsalinaBumSquash · 08/10/2010 08:28

I would say its fine, i have asked strangers where they got 'that bag/coat/scarf' if its something i have really liked and i have had the same done to me. It will be a compliment or she wont even notice. Smile

Original poster
Flighttattendant · 08/10/2010 08:28

Well it's a nice bag and I have never seen another one...oh dear. Hoping she just doesn't care?

I feel like maybe I ought not to wear it any more. But it is perfect - such a good size and just right. I haven't started wearing her clothes or having her hairstyle, fwiw...

OP posts:
TitsalinaBumSquash · 08/10/2010 08:29
Grin
sharbie · 08/10/2010 08:29

have you bought her bag on ebay do you think??

Original poster
Flighttattendant · 08/10/2010 08:31

The thing is Tits I would be flattered to be asked, but then to see them wearing it! I dunno.

I never commented on her bag though which is good, she might possibly believe I haven;t copied her and just found it by accident.

Hmm

I did once follow a woman round the playground trying to see the number on her levi's because they were ace. I then got home and realised I already had a pair the same.

OP posts:
fanjolina · 08/10/2010 08:31

Maybe she was the one who sold her bag on ebay to you

DameGladys · 08/10/2010 08:31

Bless you, you sound like me.

More 'normal' people will advise you to mention it to her, all casual like. If I attempted this however, it would somehow end up with my having spilled coffee all over her and called her an old cow.

I don't know how these things happen but I know now just not to attempt it. I would not mention the bag. Let them think you're a copy cat, though chances are she will just think you've always had it or recently had it passed on to you or something.

Actually why am I giving advice on this sort of thing? Maybe see what other people say.

fanjolina · 08/10/2010 08:31

hmm....was meant to be a Grin at end of that comment

btw, you need to tell us what bag it is

Original poster
Flighttattendant · 08/10/2010 08:31

LOL

it's a new one, it's got to be old stock or something. It were new with tags Grin

will link in a mo

OP posts:
TitsalinaBumSquash · 08/10/2010 08:32

I really need to see the bag!

fanjolina · 08/10/2010 08:32

gah!! MN running so slow for me that both my comments posted by other people before me

miracled · 08/10/2010 08:32

I am desperate to know what bag it is now! Blush

fanjolina · 08/10/2010 08:35

If I were you, I wouldn't say anything. But if she brings it up, just casually respond "oh yes, have had this for ages, but didn't use it for the school run when you were as that would be a bit embarrassing, us both turning up with same bag. But now you're using a different bag, I can use this one for school"

More eloquent than my jumbled wording would be better though!

Original poster
Flighttattendant · 08/10/2010 08:35

DameGladys Grin I so understand where you are coming from

The thing that fears me the most is that she will suddeny feel her uniqueness has gorn - if someone like me is wearing her bag, it's gone a bit common. I don't want her to feel like that.

bag

OP posts:
Original poster
Flighttattendant · 08/10/2010 08:37

i will never be her, though

OP posts:
TitsalinaBumSquash · 08/10/2010 08:37
Envy
Original poster
Flighttattendant · 08/10/2010 08:38

LOL you would freak me out Titsa.

Imagine EVERYONE at school suddenly having your bag.

OP posts:
fanjolina · 08/10/2010 08:39

well you could try to be.
step 1 - get your hair cut & coloured like her
step 2 - sneak into her house (her neighbours will think you are her due to the same hair) and steal all her clothes, shoes and lovely accessories
step 3 - change your name by deed poll
step 4 - collect her child from school (and NOT your own)

Voila - you are her!

TrillianAstra · 08/10/2010 08:42

That is a lovely bag.

Original poster
Flighttattendant · 08/10/2010 08:45

It is lovely. I feel undeserving of its loveliness!

It did take me months to track down though so in a sense I earned it.

I might try that fanjolina. It has to be worth a try.

OP posts:
DameGladys · 08/10/2010 09:03

Hmm it is quite distinctive.

You could attempt fanjolina's 'I've had it for ages' line. But you're both going to stand there thinking 'she knows that I know that she knows I'm lying'.

Go with the single white female scenario instead. Then at least she's too frightened to feel superior Grin

I too will never be that woman.

polyhymnia · 08/10/2010 10:49

Don't know what this woman is like, but, if I admire something someone else is wearing, I'll usually just compliment her and ask where she got it. Haven't been told to get lost so far.

When people do the same to me, I'm always flattered. And if they buy one, pleased there's someone with similar tastes to me. The same bag outside the school gates, not at the same time, is hardly like turning up to a red carpet event in identical multi £ dress, after all.

Was looking at the Fossil bags in John Lewis the other day, saw something very similar to yours and was tempted by it. A brand I hadn't really clocked before.

BudaisintheZONE · 08/10/2010 10:58

She has probably moved on to her next season's bag and is not even thinking about it. And if she does say something I think fanjolina's response is great.

Nutmums · 08/10/2010 11:22

It's 'orrible.

Still, at least it didn't turn out to be a Hermes Birkin or Mulberry Alexa - you'd be a lot poorer.