Apparently I look 10 years older than I am...

[tenyearsolder]

Tonight at work I was mistaken for being 50, I am just short of 40. To say I am gutted is a major understatement. I am aware that I look very tired and have not looked after myself particularly well over the years but 50? Come on...

By way of an excuse, I have suffered a major bereavement, prolonged stress, health problems (including lupus which has hammered my skin)and live an outdoorsy lifestyle. I know I can't expect to be Lily Cole after all of the above but I was once reasonably attractive and am so sad to think that people think I'm so much older than I actually am.

Any tips on how to regain some of my youthful glow very kindly recieved.

P.S. I'm not averse to more serious interventions if you think they'd help...

Agreed - fortunately for us on 10 years younger it is the combination of clothes/makeup and haircut (especially haircut) that makes the difference, not the cosmetic surgery.

I recommend either the oil cleansing method (there are threads about it on here) or an oily cleanser removed with a muslin (like Liz Earle or Eve Lom). I use this after it was recommended by another Mnetter. I smooth it on, leave to sit for a few minutes while I brush my teeth and take it off with a warm damp muslin. I really notice the difference if I stop using it for a few weeks.

Use sunscreen! Tinted moisturiser with built in sunscreen will do.

If my face catches too much sun or wind I sometimes use Camellia Kissi oil from Anita Grant. Click on the "try our samples" button as a sample size of it will last for ages.

Try changing your hairstyle, could be it is dragging your features down a bit. Also maybe brighten the colour if you have some grey showing.
A good eye cream, decent foundation and some blusher will help you look younger .

I have nothing further to add on what you can do, I am no expert but I would just say also that some people are really bad at guessing ages. I am and I wouldn't do it unless really pushed. Some people don't realise they don't have that skill and still continue to voice an opinions.

Also was it someone who knows you well? DH says I look my age but other people tend to put me a bit younger. I take DH with a pinch of salt because he remembers me when I was young (been together 19 yrs) and he sees me first thing in the morning and last thing at night. He knows how rough I can be!!!

What was the lighting like where you were? Very bright florescent(?) lighting can age and certainly if it was the gloomy lighting in a pub or something that can be very ageing too.

As the others have said, don't take one comment to heart. There could be many reasons for it.

Why don't you treat yourself to a facial and a haircut - make your hair and skin the best they can be? If nothing else they will make you feel better and lift your spirits which in itself would make you look younger.

Good luck.

How old was the person who got your age wrong? Some young (ie under 30) people find it hard to judge ages because they consider everyone over about 35 to be "old".

Who made the comment?

I am doing a course and I'm forty and all the others are 18. They literally can't see beyond 35 so one of them guessed my age as being 35, and another asked me did I know his mum (we grew up in the same town but then he told me his up was 48)

The other day, the hairdresser asked my age and I said "40" he just nodded! I think it was because he was closer to my own age.

Oh poor you!

Sounds like you have had a rough time.

I'd suggest you tackle this from the inside and outside. Eat well and make sure you eat plenty of oily fish with Omega 3 to help your skin.

Exercise does help your skin so try to get out for at least abrisk daily walk.

As others have said- a good haircut, with lowlights/subtle highlights can work wonders.

Trot off to the departmetn stores and ask for a free make over- Bobbi brown, Clinique and Benefit are all good.

Unless you have perfect skin and colouring, no one (IMO) over 35 can get away with no foundation , a spot of blusher, lippie and mascara. So perhaps you need to learn to apply some subtle colour etc to your face to give a healthy glow?

Some people are really bad at guessing ages and go more by other cues like if you mention you have kids aged x they assume that you must a certain age etc.

On a more practical note, I'm also outdoors quite a bit and always wear a really high factor sun protention - Clinique do nice tinted moisturisers with a high spf.

I would like to have my teeth whitened as I think it makes you look much younger but I'm a bit scared of damaging the enamel.

I'm having a big bucket of vino now which will help relax the frown between my eyes.

(that was a beauty tip)

Nice tip Valium will follow suit

I'm a make up artist so I thought I'd give you some make up ideas to help look more youthful. Obviously having not met you, it's difficult to be specific but these are just some general tips that work quite well.

Use an illuminating moisturiser under your foundation or tinted moisturiser. Preferably one with a high SPF to prevent further skin ageing. Christian Dior do a really nice one in SPF35 with a bit of a 'glow' to it or something similar if that's a bit on the steep side.

Also, use a foundation or tinted moisturiser which isn't matte, definitely not powder foundations as they will make your skin look dull and lifeless. The look you want is plump and moist (oooeerr!). Use a cream blusher rather than a powder, this will look like a natural glow coming from within rather than dull powder on the skin. If you use powder, just use it with a brush and only on the T Zone and around eyes, leaving a glow to the cheeks.

If you only wear natural make up then a pale, slightly shimmery peach eyeshadow will brighten your eyes and also neutralize any redness or blueish colour on your lids which you can sometimes get from a lot of outdoorsy life. It's a common misconception, by those not confident with make up, that browns suit everyone and are a safe option. This is not true, they can actually be very draining if they don't suit you. It's best, if you like a natural make up, to think about what colours would appear naturally. Cheeks look best in the colour you would naturally flush after a walk in the fresh air (unless you have high colour of course!), lips look best, and youngest, one tone deeper that the natural colour that they are in a sheer or satiny finish. Again, sorry with the expensive recommendations, but if you don't wear lipstick, Christian Dior have a balm that reacts with your lips and brings out their natural colour. The more coats you apply, the more enhanced version of your natural colour they become.

If you live in an area where there is a MAC counter, Space NK or other make up artist brand it can be helpful to book in for a one to one session there. They charge about £20-25 to spend an hour with you showing you how to do your make up and advising you on what suits you and then the money is actually redeemable against what you spend on products too so if you were thinking of buying some new make up to freshen up your look that is a fun, informative and economical way of doing it. If you can be really organised you can even plan it for when you have a night out or special occasion - you do need to book quite far ahead if it's a weekend.

havingkittens that Dior lip balm sounds nice - what's it called?

Dior Addict Lip Glow

www.dior.com/beauty/gbr/en/makeup/lips/gloss/the-expert-gloss/color-awakening-lipbalm/py0027010.html

thanks very much H - I think i might try that

That Dior gloss sounds great! I'm 40 and have recently started using a clarins cleaner that goes on as a gel, turns to oil as you massage it in then a cream as you rinse it off, its lovely and my skin looks better than I can ever remember. I also got a free sample of genefique from Lancome which really is as amazing as it claims to be. Other tips would be exercise, fresh fruit & veg, water, limit the booze, sleep well... also agree its v hard to judge ages, I'm rubbish at it!

Firstly - go easy on yourself. You probably look as though you have the weight of the world on your shoulders - which you have, recently

Your skin would probably benefit from a facial scrub used regularly (getting rid of dead skin cells has a dramatic effect on your skin tone)

The next thing is clothes - have you been buying much new stuff recently? With that much to worry about, I bet you haven't. Where do you normally shop? If it's M and S, the time may have come to look elsewhere. Have a chat with our friends on Style and Beauty, they'll sort you out.

And to echo what the others say - get a new haircut, and a colour if needed. And get your eyebrows shaped unless you're lucky enough not to need it!

Oh yes, and if you're not using a sunblock on your face, start!

Thanks havingkittens.

Can you recommend a peach eyeshadow havingkittens, not sure I have noticed any peach eyeshadows out there but I haven't been looking. would peach eyeshadow look bad with green eyes? I never wear brown eyeshadow actually. looks very odd on me. Like a big splodge. believe it or not a purple(ish) eyeshadow looks more neutral on me.

My teeth do age me I'm sure but I'm nto getting them whitened as the enamel is already thin. Getting them cleaned at the dentist recently mde them look better, but it was painful.

and watsthestory, set up a Q&A thread!

I def agree over teeth whitening.
My teeth have always been creamy but as I aged they were creamier. I had then whitened at the dentists using a home-it- trays plus bleach you do at home.

They are not white now but def. many shades lighter.

Many people have teeth that are white enough anyway but mine weren't. I have to say that when i see people my age ( 50s) who have obviously spent a lot on make up and clothes etc but have awful teeth, i wonder if they don't realise the difference it can make.