First communion - advice please from parents and step parents

[foolio]

Hi All

Need some advice.

Been with my DP (now my fiance) for three years. Didn't meet his DD until Jan this year but all seems to be going well.

It's her first communion in a couple of weeks' time and DP has said I can't go, as his ex-wife has forbidden me.

He's asked me to stay away for his sake.

By way of background, DP was separated when we met. She had an affair and left him. She was then dumped, and then decided to try and get DP back. She almost succeeded.

Since then I've been branded a trouble maker, a home wrecker, and a whore.

I can see why he'd want a quiet life, but on the other hand, I've done nothing wrong.

Am a bit worried about how much influence the EW still has over my DP.

All advice welcome.

I understand your frustration, I insisted in keeping communication open with my ex just to be accused of "not letting him go", I insisted in him having contact with his son and providing as much access as he wanted and he accused me of controlling behaviour. I decided to ignore him and then his behaviour became so chaotic it become very threatening. He has got everything he wants but still tells DS I'm blocking contact. I feel like I damned if I do and damned if I don't.

So things are bad, but what hurts the most is seeing DS being angry or upset because his father has not allowed him to do this or that because I may act on one way or another... even when the guy has no way to know what I think or what I feel, much less so how am I going to act, as he stopped talking to me such a long time ago.

I'm utterly convinced that he has built an image of who I am and is responding to (or kicking at) the image he has of me, when honestly... I wish him the best with his new life, I felt happy to see him rebuild his life, and if anything, the only thing I would want was for this "imaginary" war to stop.