One parent too many

[Hels61]

Hi all - I'm new to this and am still trying to work out what all the acronyms mean!

My question to you all is this - has anyone else been in a situation where ex husband remarries and tries to allow new wife to have equal say/input in every minute detail of the children's lives. For the last five years I have been saying til I'm blue in the face, we are NOT three parents - we are two. But they don't listen. I have three children (15, 13, 11) and we share custody 50/50 but ex behaves like I should let his wife have an equal input. I'm angry and fed-up with fighting them both but believe very strongly that he is being unreasonable.

I think you are right that step-parents have to be careful not to overstep the mark. Unless they have parental responsibility because one biological parent is not involved, they have no role in coming to parents' evenings or medical appointments or deciding on schools - they may well discuss these things with their husband or wife but they have no formal role. And why on earth should you socialise with your ex's wife, for heaven's sake? She's not your friend.

Am speaking here as an ex-stepdaughter, btw (my father divorced my stepmother some years ago but she was around for my late childhood/teenage years).

He is being unreasonable and she is being greatly insensitive and disrespectful. Its one thing being in a childs life, having a positive relationship and sharing time with them, its a completely different thing having parental responsibilities. And she ought to be greatful if you allow her to share in your childrens birthdays!