utterly miserable

[E1]

I live with my partner who has three daughters aged 11, 13 and 21. His divorce is not yet finalised but the decree nisi is through. He has loads and loads and loads of money which is constantly lavished on the children and also used by his wife, but when it comes to me I am always told that whilst he would like to get me something nice he can't spend the money as it will annoy his wife. I gave up my job, in part through depression and in part at his encouragement, and am now living on my savings so money is very tight. I am so fed up of having no new clothes or even a bloody cream egg at easter whilst the children get everything, and by that I mean 21st birthday parties costing seven figures. He spends all the time saying that I have to work to get the children to accept me and yet they are the most spoilt, lavished, lazy, ungrateful children I have EVER encountered. When I have them in the house for weekends I spend the entire time cooking and cleaning up after them - I would like to leave the mess but I have a puppy who picks things up all the time and last time I decided to leave things he ended up with a stomach blockage which I had to pay to get sorted out. Just so utterly miserable. I feel like a member of staff. I just wish that sometimes I would get a bunch of flowers or a packet of cigarettes or just some help paying my bills rather than to be constantly told that it will annoy the ex wife if she sees transactions that are for me on the bank account. Money is not an issue here - he is a millionaire many times over. And I am not a greedy person, but I feel so utterly unappreciated and miserable and am too scared to leave as I have nowhere to go. My divorce is in the process of being finalised and I have no money at all of any significance until that has happened. Does anyone else ever feel like this?

[sunshine13]

Whilst I understand that being a step parent has limitations as kids do come first, I actualy would question his love for you.

He doesnt make you feel important.

I agree with other posts that you should get a part time job to keep your independance but it would appear that he isnt free of his ex-I doubt the financial situation will change even when he is divorced. YOu canbet your bottom dollar that she is going to go for everything she can out of this divorce

The way I see it is you have 2 options- put up or shut up!

I understand that things are horrible but you shouldnt have moved intogether if you both werent ready to make a go of this relationship. I would question that he isnt in the same place as you.

Have some pride. Up & say and get your independance back!