Just swept over from "relationship" to here, so some of you will know me already.
When I first met the ex of my dp - it had to be, as they have a little boy together - my first gut reaction was "oh oh, this woman is trouble" and I was quite upset, to be honest, as my intuitions normally never let me down.
She pretty much obviously hated me when she saw me and did some quite strange things to me in the past, like bullying me on the phone, trying to provoke my jelaousy, etc. I also caught her with my own eyes trying to get my dp back behind my back... (who is absolutely not sensitive to her charms any longer...). I guess you could say she is a bit of an unstable person or a crazy maker...
I was very upset about this woman for a longtime, especially as she is quite manipulative and controling and uses her power over/through the child to get what she wants (although it doesn't work very well for her, as my dp knows her ways too well and is no longer manipulable). Things recently have calmed down a bit - I guess she has given up on her fantasy to win back my dp - and she now even tries to befriend me, but I feel still as uneasy with her as before...I do not want to be friends with her and I cannot help thinking her friendliness is a manipulation tool.
I don't have a lot of contact with her but still I feel drained or even kind of "vampirised" by this woman... and the little one brings home her bad vibes. I also feel controlled by this woman, as I normally would tell someone like her to take the highway, but in her case I can't as she is the mother of my dss. Sometimes I felt downright depressed that I have to put up with such a person for the - maybe - rest of my life... and I thought if I should not see a counsellor... but then I was thinking, hell, she has got the issues, not me...
Thing is she has now recently started to manipulate the little one against me. She makes him feel uncomfortable to be with me. I had a great relationship with him before, now it is contstantly " I want my Mamma and not you" and worse. My guess is as she cannot reproach me anything as a stepmother, she tries to convey me "you think you are the perfect stepmother, here you go - he'll nevertheless HATES you"... obviously this kind of attitude is quite sick.
Getting a bit worried now, b/c I feel I have not deserved that. It puts a strain on my relationship with dp and dss of course... and I am really fond of dss but sometimes think there is a danger here of me "investing" too much into him, as his mother might win and turn him away from me... although I deep down want to believe that one day it will backfire badly on her.
Would appreciate any kind advice.