DSD 15 and 17 hate each other

[ConstantconflictstepDds]

Dh has 2 dds from previous marriage aged 15 and 17
I have one dd from my previous marriage also 15.

My dd gets on fine with both individually but the issue is the 2 sisters hate each other. They have never got on and it’s making everyone miserable.
When they stay here they share a room and they argue and fight majority of the time. My dd ends up hiding basically in her room from the confrontations or goes out as much as she can to get away from it.
They both try to get her on their side and she finds it’s stressful.

It is not their fault - their mother has always had a clear favourite (the younger dd) and the older one is just pushed out and furious and hates her sister. Younger dsd is very confident and although can see they are treated differently won’t have a word said against their mother so it’s very difficult.

The arguments into the night stop everyone sleeping sometimes. There’s conflict over everything.

I’ve been suggesting to dh for a while that we need to look at therapy options for them and try to encourage them to stay here more? But he says it’s just sisters fighting and it’s normal ? I only had brothers so i don’t know! He has 3 sisters and says that’s what girls do ?

Does your daughter have a close grandparent she can stay with to get away from the awful home situation you created for her?

it’s absolutely heartbreaking after what she’s been through and she has nobody in her corner.

Why are they sharing if it causes such a problem. Put one in with your daughter instead. Give the older one her own space.

There is no need for your daughter to have her own space at the detriment of EVERYONE in the house including her…it’s only a couple of years before they stop staying over anyway and it’ll be back to normal

They're not visiting, it is their home.

The number of times people say step kids are just visiting is mad…sorry kids but you can’t have a relationship with your dad because you are naughty. Just no!

Agree and it's important to point it out. If they weren't a blended family, the suggestion couldn't be that the child doesn't come home.

If they're not there 50% of the time or more then they are just visitors. Their father choosing to live full time with an unrelated kid will be hurtful to them, too, however none of this is OPs daughters problem.
She didn't choose any of this, and her home isn't happy or a sanctuary.

You do need to get this under control. My sister bullied me (she's 14 months older).
My sister is still that bully because my mother never stopped her. Violence was used in my mother's home to control people. It's left deep scars.

I would get some counselling in place and I would also have a family meeting.
Everyone needs to behave or the visits will be on a rota. That's it, no ifs or buts.
This is your house and it's intolerable.

That's what the OP says, yes. What are you asking?

I feel very sorry for the 17 yo - she needs a lot of 1:1 time with both parents to make up for the way she has been treated. Your husband needs to take his ex’s treatment of her in hand, not just blame his ex for it.

I don't think your daughter should n̈ot have to share her room. The two daughters need to be told by dad that alternate weeks it is. Some sort of therapy needs to be found- by dad. If this continues your daughter might need therapy too. If dad doesn't sort this i woukd be reviewing my relationship. It is having a negative effect on more than just his daughters. He is not being fair. Plus if he is often at work when they are there, he needs to change this: they are there to see him.