Feeling hurt about being excluded from my partner’s camper van trip

[Newkindofstepmum]

I am just venting a little bit. DP and I bought a camper van together. He went on holiday with his DC without me in the summer with the camper.
We have issues with the DC’s mum and social services. DC live with DP but they both still have rights over the DC..
DC1 (11) got a birthday present that meant going away this weekend. I had not been expected to be invited but last night DP said he had spoken to DC1 and said he thought I might like to join them for the weekend when they went away in the camper. DC1 said no because of their mum.
I was actually happy for them that they were having a weekend together but today I wasn’t expecting them to turn up at my house in the camper. But they did and I felt sad and started to cry so now DP is angry with me.
We don’t live together but I just feel hurt and now he’s asking why I can’t be happy for them. He didn’t have to tell me he had spoken with DC1 but he did. And seeing them together made me upset.
I wrote to him saying that yes I was happy but seeing them at my house with the camper upset me because I wasn’t supposed to see him today.
Now he’s not reading or replying to my message. He is also there with another (female) parent but she is not staying in the camper with them, she gave the present.
The only reason he has taken the camper is because his ex did not want DC1 to travel with another adult.
DC1 tells their mum everything that goes on and I am being told my the mum that I have to stay away from her children and they know she has said this.
At first I thought it was nice that DP had thought of me. But now I just feel destroyed.

Then stop paying. Immediately.

You haven’t “co-bought” anything. It’s his. And blaming “peri” is a bit pathetic.

I only just noticed this, that the OP’s partner paid for the entire camper van, so that it’s not a joint purchase. Is there a reason you exaggerated your contribution to an actual share in the van, OP?

I remember that thread . So it’s that drama queen op again.

why do women get together with men who have complicated relationships with their ex, the kids don’t like them and then they cry about it? All your own fault op. He’s putting his kid first. A 50yo woman shouldn’t be crying about feeling left out by an 11yo and their parent.

It's daft that you are paying tax and insurance on this camper van when you have only used it once.

And this relationship doesn't sound particularly good for you. You know you are at the bottom of the pile. Please, find your self-respect and sack this off.

Exactly, it’s his to do with as he pleases.

So your dp has the DC because social services are involved with his ex - in what capacity?

The ex has told you that she doesn’t want you anywhere near her DC?

And your bf was thoughtless enough to tell you that he had asked his DC if they wanted you on the trip and they had said no?

That’s a lot. Your bf sounds like an inconsiderate twat. He should be telling his ex it’s none of her business if you see the DC or not.

Do you really want all this drama when you have your own DC to consider?

And you didn’t buy the van together - your bf bought it.

I don't think you'll help yourself much by being rude to other posters.

But you said you were happy for them to spend time together? As they should.

Not sure why my post was deleted given the OP had called myself and another poster ‘Thick’ !

Why have I not paid any thing. The camper cost 1500. I paid 500 for the tax and I pay for the insurance.

Mine was deleted as well

What sort of camper van is only £1,500? I’ve got an image in my head of the Flintstone’s car, with everybody running along madly.

😂 😆 😂 😆 this is why we need the laughing emoji back

Good grief, is this nonsense about absolutely nothing still grinding on? I'm getting "T-Rexing in Asda" vibes from the op, if anyone remembers that. She's making about as much sense.

If this is all true, you'd be better off without him OP. You're looking for true love and he's just looking for a nanny with a fanny, from the sounds of it. Of course you're going to be disappointed in that situation.

You can apply for a refund on the campervans tax, tell them it's SORN, then after you've got your refund tell him that too so he can go tax it again himself. Call up the insurance and tell them you're no longer willing to pay it with immediate effect. Then call your bank and tell them to block any payments coming out from the insurance company (you'll need the name of it for them). Then tell your boyfriend he needs to contact the insurance to reinstate payments from himself or take out new insurance.

He's not a partner OP, you're not in this together, you don't live together and you don't part-own a campervan. He's just a live-out boyfriend who's spun you a story, sold you a dream of camping holidays and in doing so he's got you to pay his tax and insurance on the campervan he solely owns. Stop being a pushover.

Is it an abusive relationship? The sulking isn't good. You sound so ground down, woe-is-me and lacking in self esteem OP.

I can't believe you're in your 50s. From the way you write I'd have put you at early 20s, emotionally immature and from a chaotic background with dysfunctional parents, someone who's yet to fully grow up and figure out how the world works and learn to recognise shitty men who aren't worth bothering with.

I feel like he's pretending to be what you want in a life partner so you stick around, but that he'll never actually be that man and you'll spend your entire life disappointed and feeling second best if you stay with him.