Hi, Im new here, but thought I would just see if anyone is going or has gone through a similar situation to me.
I have been with DH for 6 years and we just got married 2 months ago. DH has 3 children from a previous relationship (they weren't married) DSS - 20, DSS - 11 and DSD - 10. I have always had a reasonably amicable relationship with them, although BM has not been the best person and has done her best to try and make the kids (especially DSD) not like me. I dont understand why as I actually met DH when they had already been seperated for 3 years so had no play in the breakdown of their relationship. I have loved and treated those kids as though they were my own, but even after 6 years I still get no respect, no politeness or even civility from them.
I made it clear within a couple of months of meeting DH that I wanted a child of my own and he always said that one day we would. However, over the last 3 years or so, it has become apparent that he doesn't really want anymore children, as he worries that his youngest DSS (who is a daddys boy) would be jelouse. We live nearly 200 miles from the children due to DH's job. He says he would feel guilty having another baby that he would see every day when he only sees his kids once a month (due to the distance and cost of petrol). I feel terribly let down by him as it was not my fault he moved away from his kids. He moved away 2 years before he met me so I had no part in his moving.
I have even said that I am prepared to give up my family and job and move closer to his children if that is what it takes, but he doesn't want to as he knows he wont get such a well paid job where they live.
Has anyone else experienced problems like this where DH / DP has not wanted another child for fear of making his children jelouse? I am not sure if BM has had a say in this aswell, or whether she has threatened him reduced time with his kids if he has anymore. She has threatened him before about other things, so it wouldn't surprise me, but I dont want to blame her if she hasn't done anything wrong.
What do I do, do I just accept the fact I am destined not to have a child of my own (I am 37 and DH is 42 by the way) or do I give up my DH and stepchildren to have a family of my own?