Partner falls asleep

[Pigmum86]

My partner has two kids under 5. He often falls asleep when they’re in our care - snoozing on the sofa while they’re playing. It annoys me he expects me to look after them by myself. Last time it happened he said ‘I’m sure you can cope for 5 minutes.’

hes often had his mum helping him with them when he has them once a week and I feel he’s got used to someone else doing the work.

we’ve got them for 3 nights over Xmas and I’m dreading it.

what would you do or say?

Have you tried going out when he has them? How does he manage then?

Just poke him awake.

I’d say he wants you as an unpaid childminder not as a respected equal.

This isn't something you need to dread. If both kids are under 5 you cannot have been in a long relationship with this person. Cut your losses and walk away.

Tell him you are not a parent to his children and he needs to be totally responsible for them when he has them.

Live separately and just date him if he enhances every aspect of your life.
He has very young kids and he barely parents them (once a week is pathetic) he needs to focus on parenting, solely, not dating or dossing around.

Don't be one of those girlfriends who accepts the drudgery of a lazy man's choice to opt out of raising his kids.

You need to not be available... Visit friends /family
..

I suppose the question you need to ask is:

If a friend said their boyfriend was a 'good guy' but then also said when they raised issues to them, the boyfriend dismissed them, would you think that guy was a good guy???

Most people would show more care to a stranger whose foot they accidentally trod on!

A man whose only nice to you as long as he isnt being challenged, isnt a good man.

Wake him up. Go and have a bath, go & read in bed, anything to remove yourself. If they ask you for anything tell them to ask their dad.
It's not up to you to "cope for 5 mins".
You answer "No, YOU need to look after YOUR children".

But honestly, give yourself an early Christmas present & tell him it's over. He & his kids can go to his parents for Christmas.

Buy the kids a tambourine each for Christmas to help him stay awake.

This is not going to get any better.

How long have you been together?

Only see your partner when the children are not with him.

He is a lazy arse. Luckily he’s showing you what life will be like if you choose to stay with him and have children together.

Get out while you can!

Two kids under 5 and you are living with this man? How long are you together? How long have you been living together?

I think the issue you are having is partially because you both moved way too quick in this relationship. If this one thing is annoying you... I would say cut your losses and either live separately or actually seperate.

I'd also beg the question why he only sees his kids once a week!

Well he clearly thinks that being female makes you a default caregiver. That attitude would be a dealbreaker for me.

Are you hoping to have your own DC with this man? He is clearly showing you what his expectation will be of you as a mother - to do everything whilst he rests his little manbaby arse.

He is no partner.

Be unavailable.

What did this man with 2 very young children in need of a nanny find attractive in you, @Pigmum86 ? When did he move in to your home?

Buy both dcs drum kits for Xmas, then go to stay with your mum, or visit friends and rellies. Go home at 8.30pm after bath&bed is finished.

Or encourage them to play a game with sleepy daddy which involves bouncing on his stomach.

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Absolutely this. What possessed you to move in with a lazy arsed man with two very young g kids who wants a nanny with a fanny so he can do fuck all?

Whatever you do, do not get pregnant for him.

Whatever you do, do not get pregnant for him.

What others have said, plus: why is he randomly falling asleep in the day? I’ve got two under 4 and I’m not falling asleep. Google the Epworth sleepiness scale and get him to do it. I’d be concerned there was an issue.

How long have you been with him?

If he only has them once a week why are you there?

Stop seeing him on the days he has them.
If you live together then go out.
He needs 1-1 time with them anyway.

Check out of parenting itis its womans work mummy used to do it for me now ive found a friend with benefits and a house to do it.

I’d be telling him he need to figure out why he’s so tired! We have 2 under 2 and don’t get me wrong, I’m shattered, but I’m not “fall asleep when I’m looking after my kids” tired!

Op in what otherways have you replaced his mother? Does he do his share of cooking, cleaning, bill paying or is he just a cocklodger?

You can be sure that if OP returns

• she will say she's pregnant
• it's her house,
• partner doesn't contribute financially (or not much) and
• they've been together for 6 months

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