DP pulling back after being with kids.

[GirlBottle]

I have 2 kids, one is 16 and other is 7. I've been seeing my DP for well over a year, he doesn't have children and we don't live together.
For full context, he's not spent any time with children, ever really and doesn't want his own. However, we have been slowly spending time together with the kids.
On the whole, it's been lovely! He's told me things like he's feeling things he's never felt before and he's really tried interacting and building a relationship with them. The kids have been fab too and really open to him.
The weekend just gone though, my youngest was particularly difficult. They were whingey and tired and while I managed it well by the end of the Sunday we were both exhausted and a bit fed up.
This is all normal and fine - weekends with kids can be like this, and regularly! But he has really pulled back and said he feels like he might need space before doing that again. I.e. spending whole weekends with them.
This is difficult for me because although I understand, they're my kids and I think they're wonderful. Plus I don't want to not see him every other weekend and I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want ANY involvement with the kids.
What do you think? Any advice? Is it a bad thing from him or reasonable and understandable?

It’s good that he’s getting these experiences and feelings now rather than later when you’re more attached.

I think he was overwhelmed. Tbh I sometimes don't want to spend time with my children when they're difficult but as their mother I don't have a choice.

You cannot force your children onto him every weekend
and you cannot force him onto your children every weekend

they are not his children

so you spend your time with your children during the day, and have Saturday evening ' dates ' with him

tho I don't suppose you see much of the eldest at a weekend.

and maybe try doing a Sunday all together monthly and if that is too much, two monthly.

Guess it depends on your long term expectations and desires. If you want him to ultimately live with you and your children then it's probably not going to work. If you are happy to keep things a bit separate and continue dating until your children are much older/leave home, then you could do that.

Normal, surely??

I'd be suspicious if he wasn't like that

I think you have tried to do too much too quickly. It's perfectly reasonable for you to have your relationship with this guy separate to your kids. Your kids are probably also much more comfortable spending their weekends with just you. You already have every other weekend without them, that can be the quality time you have with your boyfriend and then you also get to have quality time with your kids every other weekend without your boyfriend there. Remember that they haven't had a say in all of this.

I mean they'll definitely break up if she tries to force everyone to spend all weekend, every weekend together.

However, if she listens to her partner's needs and allows a relationship to develop with the children at a natural pace then maybe they have a shot.

Why do you feel the need to integrate them?

A childless guy who is overly enthusiastic about hanging around with children all weekend should definitely be ringing some alarm bells.

@loveawineloveacrisp Agree, OP can certainly do that if she wishes (not mix her boyfriend and her DC)

I think this is a normal reaction. I'd react like this if I was spending time with family, with children I actually know and actively like, and they created all weekend.