SIL relationship with husbands ex wife

[Bram31]

Years on I am still finding my SIL's relationship with my husbands ex wife troubling. It caused a huge amount of hurt at the beginning of our relationship and with my husband addressing it with his sister however it has continued over the years. Now and again they will meet up or she will make comments that could have come from them talking. I can't put my finger on why I find it so troubling. I don't think I would, nor would my siblings, continue to have a relationship with an ex partner. My husband just shrugs it off which makes me even more infuriated. Do I have a right for this to make me feel angry? How have people gotten over this?

Totally understandable why you feel uncomfortable if you feel sil has never been accepting or made space for you. If the split was amicable and the ex didnt behave badly to her brother then its natural though that sil may be close to ex.

All you can do is limit your own relationship with sil, realise you will never be close and you will never feel you can trust her or see her as an ally im picking up? In which case, maybe just have a superficial polite relationship and accept it for what it is. Disappointing as it is, Sil relationships are not always close after all.

They were family for years.
Divorce doesn't kill that bond.
Particularly if his ex didn't do anything wrong as such.
I wouldn't be at all surprised at them staying in touch.
If they have children, then they are first cousins.
Very normal to remain close and connected I'm afraid.

I have a lovely relationship with my ex SIL’s and BIL’s. I am also godmother to one of their children so that is a relationship I want to keep. My ex and his gf (OW) are pissed at this because they have no interest in having a relationship with her. I am grateful that they care about me and my children. Why do you think they should be cut off? You build relationships over many years with these people, yet you think they should just cut off the ex because you don’t like it? I think you need to grow up and ask yourself why you’re so insecure.