I don't know why it bothers me so much but my DSD always copies my son and wants the same things as him eg toys and what stuff she is into etc.
So they are both 7 and are best friends. My DS is diagnosed with ADHD and we also suspect autism, not diagnosed. I have been in her life since she was 18 months old and she is a good kid, and very likeable. However I just have a small issue with her always wanting and copying what my son likes and it's like she doesn't have her own identity. A couple of examples of what I mean.
So I recently got some chewies online for my son to wear round his neck to stop him chewing on his clothes, and now she wants some too, even though chewing clothes is not a problem for her, same with ear defenders.
He always sits in the middle in the car next to his baby brother and he feels comfortable sat here, now DSD now wants to sit here too and my son gets upsets because this is his seat, and she has only just started to request she wants to sit here too, my DH suggests they take turns, which is fair but my son gets upset, and I think it's things like this that makes me and his teachers suspect he has autism too.
My son's hyper focus is football, he is obsessed with it, he plays it all of the time and he plays on a team, she also wants to play football now too and she is in a team. She wants football kits too the same ones my son loves and also has 1-1 private football coaching with the same coach my son has.
She also ask for the same toys he loves too, even though she has never shown an interest in them before. So when it's her birthday my son gets really jealous that she gets presents that he would love. I know I sound petty and they are 7 but I worry that she doesn't have her own likes and we should be encouraging her to like different things or find out what she likes but when you ask her she shrugs her shoulders and says she doesn't know.
It's been this ways since they were around 3 so it's not a new thing, any advice on how to tackle this, do we just carry on and get her the same things and before the vipers strike I know I sound silly as they are kids, but overall we have a good relationship and we all get along nicely for a blended family and I realise if this is the only thing I have to worry about, I can count myself as lucky.