Step "nephews"

[Confusedonthedaily]

I have 2 nephews, they belong to my brother, my brother is no contact with us and his children for many years due to addiction/jail but I still have a relationship with the children through my ex sister in law. Now the issue is she has since started a new relationship and has gained 2 step children and has created a blended family, however now when I have my 2 nephews for sleep overs or take them on holiday etc she feels I should be including her step children as they are one family now. Am I wrong to think that I don't need to include them as she isn't my blood family, my contact with her is purely as the children's aunt?? Not sure how to best handle the situation

Do your two nephews do everything the other kids do with their side of the family? Sleepovers, trips out?

You could say it's a matter of space and you can't fit more than two in for sleepovers

@ThatSerenePanda no I haven't had any contact with them, apart from seeing them from the car

No I don't think you're wrong in this case

There’s alot in mn about his you need to treat all children in a blended family the same etc etc . However, I do think this is being a bit cheeky, especially as you don’t them at all.

How old are all the children concerned? If there’s a big age difference, that makes it easier, as teens like doing different things to five year olds, so you bound to deliberately be doing something age appropriate.

I also wonder whether she’s used to you childminding her first kids, giving her ‘free’ time, so she expects/would line this with the extra kids.

I'm usually very sympathetic to these things but she's just trying to get a free babysitter. You don't know the kids, they don't know you and unless your nephews are begging for them to come too it would be a flat out no from me.

Probably close enough!
Seriously though as this is all a bit involved I think you need to concentrate on your relationship with the nephews related to your brother. They might treasure you as a refuge.

God not a chance.

I wonder what your ex SIL BF Kids mum would think to their dad palming them off on his time.

I wouldn't do it to my kids and I wouldn't look after them if I was in your situation.

You don't need to include them, however I probably would to some degree.

She's been pretty accommodating with contact, from what you have said, and has ensured that you've maintained a relationship when she absolutely didn't have to, and I wouldn't want to rock the boat too much with that.

Thanks everyone, I definitely got the feeling it was more a case of a free weekend for them

This was my first thought too

She is being a cheeky fucker and looking for a free house/time away from all the kids

I’d be very firm and say no. This time is to be dedicated to your nephews - not baby sit another man’s kids

If she were your sister I might say yes. But she is not. Indeed she is lucky that your are still in their life. In so many circumstances like this the wider family also lose contact.

@ThatSerenePanda lots of hints which I have ignored, then today it was more direct request about them joining for a sleepover tonight

Is this my husband lol this is nearly identical to what he said lol

I haven't replied, left it unread 😬

Perfect response.. Thank you

How many times have you met the step- children - do you know them at all well? If not then I'd let her know I'd not be happy caring for DC I didn't know as they might feel uncomfortable staying over if weren't close. I think she's after a free babysitting for the weekend!

If I was the step kids mother, I’d be less than impressed at them being palmed off on a random relative of the new girlfriend. Definitely not being unreasonable OP!