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Step-parenting

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SS has moved back home with GF

26 replies

Beebs1 · 20/09/2024 07:48

My partners 23yr old son has moved back into our home with his GF as they have been living away and they could not sustain their lifestyle.
They have amassed a large amount of debt that needs to be cleared as a result of their lifestyle. We offered them a place to try and get on their feet plus his Mother wouldn’t have them stay.
SS is waiting on checks to do parcel delivery but doesn’t want to work full time as he does ‘extra’ work and it will interfere with that.
My partner is giving them three weeks grace until he says anything but so far DS is up around 10 onwards and GF midday. They then spend the day on laptops as he says ‘ looking at opportunities’
Fortunately I am working all day so not at home but they have been going out every night.
They go out from 5-10.30 pm and don’t come back until after 1-3.30am is the latest this week.
SS is at his mother home until then. Each time they come back the GF waves at the Ring 🤷‍♀️
The late nights out is starting to really irritate me, especially now the youngest in the house is being woken by them even though they seem to be quiet coming in.
I feel that this being really disrespectful, they are quite happy living and eating here but off until all hours every night.
What are anyone’s thought? Is it me that is in the wrong to be irritated ?
There is also another young adult about to head to uni tomorrow so it’s not like I am used to older children having their own freedom etc.

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 31/01/2025 19:10

Beebs1 · 30/01/2025 19:56

Five months down the line they are still here.
I have found the whole thing very stressful but agreed to it for my
partner as it’s his son.
Step son has done a few Extra filming roles but maybe 5 jobs. He has worked part time as a deliveroo driver whilst his GF has done nothing as she is Spanish so can’t work. They have paid off about 4K of 15k debt.
We have taken money off them with the intention of giving it back when they leave.
They have spent everyday together going to the mothers until the early hours then coming back when we are asleep, the odd deliveroo although that has stopped of late. They don’t have a social life as they don’t have friends here.
SS now has a commission only
job and is yet to see any wage,They currently spend the afternoon in the local Wetherspoons ‘working’ on their laptops. They buy one coffee and refill it all afternoon.
The GF still waves at the ring doorbell when she comes in, to antagonise I think.
There have been lots of arguments about their lifestyle and how they are going to live.
Step son has ADHD and other social skill issues so it’s difficult to explain that they need Full time jobs etc as they think we are the crazy ones.
Today I am deflated yet again as Step son has told his father that they are staying out as I am too judgmental. I am a realist and say things as they are which they don’t like.
These are things that I would say to my own children if this was going on with them( Fortunately I don’t have to worry about them)
For example - You come in after 1am, get up after midday and do a bit of work, this won’t pay your debt off. This has been said during heated conversations with them,’myself and partner, only they see me as the enemy.
My partner and I don’t argue but we have done more in our relationship with them here.
He feels frustrated with him and has had countless conversations about their lifestyle but nothing has changed. He is also now torn between his son and me I think.
They are due to leave at the end of Feb, today I’ve asked my partner to ask them to leave when they get back from a holiday with his mum next week as I’ve had enough.
They don’t have to live here, we did it to help them out and I don’t think I should have to put up with this behaviour of staying away to deliberately avoid me.
I have no doubt that they will need help again (
sojce the age of 17 he has had 70k from mum
to bail him out. We have given nothing as he won’t learn we feel. I have said they won’t be living here again, they have dragged me down and I am a positive person.
Rant over but wanted to update you.

70k! What the fuck did he need all that for? Chuck the pair of freeloaders out.

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